We become used to things we don’t like as much as things we do like. Just because we don’t want things doesn’t mean they aren’t familiar or somehow normalized.
I used to work nearly-exclusively for notoriously unhinged people, and for me, it was so easy that people thought I had a special skillset. Yes, I did: a completely insane lot of my family and life. It made this behavior normal; it was even sort of familiar; and while I didn’t want to be a part of the crazy meltdowns and insanity, I found myself being able to cope with it with ease, over and over again.
People are also used to: being broke, just getting by, over-giving, self-denial and all sorts of other limiting things. We don’t “intellectually” want to experience them, but if you’re used to it, and it’s familiar, it’s not so unlikely that it will continue, unchecked, no matter how many New Year Resolutions and New Moon wish lists you make.
How can you move past “what’s normal” that you don’t want into all that abundance that’s been evading you?
I go to Mt. Fuji nearly every year to do something extraordinary. Not only is it a reset for my body and my aesthetic soul, I visit the Buddha land and attend ceremonies to polish my own karma. The first time I went, I just cried the whole time, which may not seem so “high vibe”, but it was unforgettable.
I sat down at the first dinner on a tatami mat and unravelled. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t see. I walked outside under the trees and I just cried. It continued for almost a full night and next day.
I held so much frustration deep in my body, a damning type of feeling that I couldn’t really “get to” a stable place in life, it all came out in a flood of tears. I was so used to instability, wired into my nervous system, that I’d find solid ground, then I’d find a way to create a mess if it wasn’t there already. I’d do it in ways that I didn’t understand.
It was just… normal.
The trip full of tears brought me a lot of clarity. I thought it would bring me massive prosperity and completely transform my life.
That’s not how new “normal” states are made, overnight.
It’s practice.
That trip brought me some eye-opening realizations that were deeper than I understood.
I had to keep going, practicing a new way of living, resisting the urge to want everything yesterday and fall back to my old ways that filled my body with numb frustration.
In many ways it’s a leap of faith to practice new ways to be— envisioning bigger, becoming more self aware, embracing more quiet, working with more passion, confronting the demons— because the results aren’t always instant.
Slowly, I purged thoughts, words and actions that were creating cross-currents in my life (ie: wanting prosperity and choosing another crazy boss, wanting stability and choosing to rent from someone I knew was unstable even though the place was great… wanting a solid relationship and selecting the most un-solid partner).
Soon, things became so stable it was disarmingly cool.
This old feeling of instability became an extremely abnormal feeling.
A paradigm changed. I’d sooner eat glass now and find it normal than I’d find familiarity working for a maniac or dating a psychopath.
Those things aren’t cycles in my life any more. It took time, but it was worth it.
I know that “instant manifestation” is marketable. But I’m more into real manifestation, whether it’s instant, or it’s arrived after working and building and growing.
It’s a powerful to practice to use your intention.
Meaning: summoning your visions, your heartfelt desires and all your energy and focus, and putting it to work for you, to re-shape the universe in your favor.
Focusing your intention can move mountains. My dogs know this. They stare so intently you have to move and do something for them. One stares until he shakes– his intention overwhelms his body and he can not be denied. He even learned how to talk, just in case someone wasn’t looking at him when he wants something… and he gets it.
That’s what Feng Shui does when you work with it. When you change your environment and fill it with powerful intention along with more harmony, you’re strengthening that ability to use all your gifts, talents and skills to get things done.
Shape space with enough intention and it will move you as much as the dogs move me!
Feng Shui is also a practice.
You don’t clean your home once and then it’s clean forever.
Almost all of my clients work with me on practices for their energy and their homes. I created the Feng Shui Camps because I knew that there were long-term benefits to finding best practices and expanding them. I see lives changing over the years now, all step-by-step, creating new paradigms.
It’s all a practice.
So:
You’ve got power to set your sights on things and make them happen. You can focus your intention on anything and make it better. This is science as well as spirit. It’s amazing.
You’ve got the ability to change your environment- even in the smallest ways like housecleaning- to support your intentions.
Now, what do you do with the endless cycle of things that stay at a certain point and never go further?
One place to start: Realize that whatever it is, it’s normal for you. I used to be ashamed that it was normal for me to have such darkness feel familiar. But, when I really became aware of it, and stopped judging myself, I was able to change. Denying that you have something going on doesn’t make it go away in my experience, it just makes you feel broken. You don’t create abundant new worlds when you spend a lot of time punishing yourself. It’s self-sabotage to keep you in that “normal” place.
If you’re used to feeling broke, unstable, overwhelmed, super-stressed. Own it. Look at what happens. Look at how it happens. Now you can make different choices. They may not all be “overnight manifestation” choices, but you’ll be making NEW choices.
New choices bring new results. You’ll find your best ways.
We are adaptable beings. We adapt. We find new “normals” if we need to.
Practice. The New.
Practice being you.
Bringing your voice, your spirit, your point of view, your talent, uncensored, unflagging to every day, more and more.
It’s not anything to learn, it’s being willing to unlearn things like people-pleasing, martyrdom, silence, shame. None of this is you. It’s socialization. It’s how we learned to cope with things. It’s habits.
It’s not you.
Practice new ways. If you need a place to start, practice anything that brings you joy- doodle, write, dance- even for a few minutes every day.
That energy will grow.
The more you stop judging yourself the more you’ll be able to see things clearly and change them from a place of real love. You’ll realize you can find other jobs, other homes, other opportunities, other ways to organize…other doors to open…
You’ll become more familiar with yourself again, maybe for the first time.
If you didn’t know how powerful you are before this, you’ll know now.
xoxo Dana
P.S.: If you want to really immerse yourself in the light of joy so much more, my favorite Feng Shui and cutting-edge energy-shifting tools that I use almost every day are HERE for you in the Joy Immersion: 30 Day Negativity Detox!
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And, if you want to dive in to your own personalized feng shui in a modern, practical way, Say hello to Feng Shui 101. Its the guide I made for you to create your own personalized feng shui at home, in the office, wherever you may be… in 8 weeks. It’s not filled with strict rules or what you “must” do. Its filled with information, questions, exercises and even videos and classes to help you confidently create amazing spaces with killer feng shui and live with more flow. Learn more about the 8-week feng shui adventure & grab your copy to get started right HERE… And, as always, please let me know what happens!
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