A reader asked a really cool question about whether or not she could re-establish friendship with someone who was a “psychic vampire to her in the past. Since I truly believe that everyone at their core is an awesome person (though it may not be expressed in one’s present life actions) the idea that you can’t be friends with someone, ever, is really tricky for me. That said, I’m not a fan of setting myself up to suffer!
Psychic “vampire” people in your life may only affect you and not others. They are the subtle or un-subtle naysayers, crazy-making, dramatic people who can suck the energy out of your system, deflate your plans, pull your attention and even make you feel so low that you feel sick. Can you live with that?
The weird thing is, the “vampire” people tend to come around when everything in life feels solid and good. Who can blame ’em: everyone wants some happiness! But, when someone’s happiness comes at your expense, its a slippery slope. Sometimes its for no reason at all that you are targeted. I once had a woman make it her mission to sabotage my life. It’s very unsettling when that happens. The guidance I received from wise Buddhist priests : pray for her. (This is not what I wanted to hear!) I did, even though I didn’t want to at first. Years later, she has changed her whole life. That to me is awesome.
Here, all I can share is my personal experience. I’m certainly not even close to perfect, and I’ve grown up a lot. I realized for myself that I am not strong enough to deal with toxic people up close and personal on a regular basis. I’m not superhuman. All of my personal “vampire” people have had big networks of friends, and did not- and do not- need me to survive. I’ve rarely had a person who was a total chaos-maker come back and apologize and become a friend… but it has happened.
Also, one holistic healer suggested a cord-cutting exercise to re-establish healthier connections to people who have been draining. You can read more about it HERE. Its pretty interesting to do!
All I can say is that if you sense change, act accordingly! And send lots of good thoughts to people who have been your vampires rather an condemning them— many do become inspiring examples of goodness when they work out their “stuff”! Good luck & stay happy! xoxo Dana
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