While I have been accused many times of being an over-smiley Polyanna, I learned early on that when I was very happy I had a tremendous amount of influence over the outcomes in my life. I always knew that if I could help other people to be happier- with art, with science and with lots of design- then they, too, could live much more awesomely directed lives.
If we can be more free of the past and more expansive toward the future we create better outcomes. Years of this blog, hundreds of clients and questions and feedback later and I have seen that this way of being is making its way into lives with greater purpose and flow.
Science is showing that “positive coaching” actually affects your brain…. for the better!
Immersing yourself in positive relationships, mentorships, friendships, and work with awesome life coaches, it seems, can light up your brain. A study in Social Neuroscience explains:
” Coaching and mentoring to the Positive Emotional Attractor (PEA) emphasizes compassion for the individual’s hopes and dreams and has been shown to enhance a behavioral change. In contrast, coaching to the Negative Emotional Attractor (NEA), by focusing on externally defined criteria for success and the individual’s weaknesses in relation to them, does not show sustained change. “
Focusing on your strengths makes you better. Highlighting what needs to be improved, all your weakness, and starting to “improve” based on your weaknesses does not work well.
THIS MEANS: Beating yourself up or having other people criticize you as a way of creating improvement is a lose-lose situation.
An article in Psychology Today expands on this, explaining how the brain is affected when you focus on what are your strengths:
“The so-called “positive coaching” group showed brain activity in the following areas:
Visual processing—the area of the brain that is activated when imagining future events
This is dramatic.
I was once involved in a very magical relationship. We each saw so much of the greatness in each other- and together we brought so much brightness to each others lives. This carried on until one day when one of us decided or realized that we were very different. The difference became the focus of our time together. Suddenly, the brain-lighting, infinite possibility and magic drained out and in its place was this very big spotlight on the negative. It was a heartbraking turn of events.
This concept has immense implications.
You can choose yes or no. You can hold yourself back with self-criticism and self-denial. Your brain can actually come to life with positive reinforcement.
It is all up to you.
Now… when you are trying to improve in any aspect of life, how can this mind-expanding, brain-illuminating fact be applied?
- start with what is right about situations
- surround yourself with people who remind you of your strengths
- seek coaching or even therapy that emphasizes your talent and the positive
- remind yourself daily of all the greatness and skill that you have
- eliminate things from your enviroment (broken things, bad-memory objects) that reinforce the negative
And… quite simply… stay in your happy place as much as possible. It is good for your brain!
The Joy Immersion: 30 Day Negativity Detox is a commitment to happy-making, mirror-polishing, life-lifting and simple space shifting for 30 days. It’s loaded with lots of actions (some you may know for sure even if you’ve never fully practiced them, some you’ve likely never seen or heard of…!) that can help you detox from your own negative stuff, uncover more of your greatness and light, and see happiness everywhere you look…!
And you can start right HERE!
And, if you want to dive in to your own personalized feng shui in a modern, practical way, Say hello to Feng Shui 101. Its the guide I made for you to create your own personalized feng shui at home, in the office, wherever you may be… in 8 weeks. It’s not filled with strict rules or what you “must” do. Its filled with information, questions, exercises and even videos and classes to help you confidently create amazing spaces with killer feng shui and live with more flow. Learn more about the 8-week feng shui adventure & grab your copy to get started right HERE… And, as always, please let me know what happens!