If you found yourself into a space where suddenly it seems that its you against the world- a place where it feel like there’s no support, no one to take your side, and no encouragement anywhere you turn- it feels like everyone is just not right in the world.
Have you been there?
You know, some big upset happens at work and, in your upset, you can see only whispering and imagining that everyone blames you for something you didn’t do… And you carry that to the gym where the trainer is suddenly so rude and so you head home and your neighbors are complaining…
The noise is everywhere. Things go wrong. Defenses go up.
You wonder why there are so many angry, uncompassionate and even selfish people in the world.
I have lived this day for many years in the past. Have you?
If you’ve found yourself in a place where it seems like it’s “you against the world”, it may be easier to unwind this than you think. Today’s expansive design is all about pulling yourself out of the darkness and drama to become lighter and happier again.
You are not a victim.
Looking back on my own crazy web of chaos that was my life as a 20-something, the one thing I realized, without blaming and berating myself, is that when everything is suddenly switched to dark it means that somehow I let myself become toxic. Somehow I let the negative way too closely into my life and it slowly but surely wore me down to a place where I felt broken, depleted and just as negative as the original toxic people and environments that I chose. Yes: I chose them.
Chances are you chose these people and places, too.
That’s OK. Life’s not perfect.
But once you get spun into a toxic mess, it doesn’t feel like you chose anything. It feels like things just keep happening to you. It feels like you are wearing an invisible target.
The first way to unwind the toxicity is to understand- without judgement or blame- that you chose these places and people on some level. Whether it feels familiar to be in toxic places or you can just see the best in things and don’t want to see the rest, somehow these interactions are chosen, they aren’t just dropped on our lap.
What is a toxic person?
” Toxic people hurt others with their worlds, often unintentionally but sometimes on purpose. They may feel bad about themselves, so they make other people around them feel bad, too; misery loves (or deserves) company, they seem to feel. Toxic relationships are often characterized by hurtful remarks, constant sarcasm, belittling behaviors, or passive-aggressive interactions. The hallmark of being in a toxic relationship is feeling bad after being around the other person, though not always knowing quite why. If you feel a sense of dread when you see a friend’s number appear on your phone, or feel uneasy when required to meet with a certain co-worker or supervisor, because you always feel fearful, angry, or frustrated after you talk, that’s a toxic person for you. They may lack empathy and can be narcissistically-entitled, meaning that if you feel bad as a result of an encounter with them, they’d say it’s your fault, not theirs.” (whole article HERE)
How do you know if you are getting toxic?
There are some sure-fire signs that you are getting toxic: You might get sick often, with every cold or flu that is going around. You may be frequently drained or exhausted, you may be fixated on the toxic people around you, complaining about them on a loop. You might find yourself acting clumsy, finding drama everywhere you turn and even crying all the time. Your house starts to turn to a mess. Your abilty to fiollow through on things dininishes. Your work suffers. Your relationships become strained and full of blame and finger pointing. You might find solate in checking out by immersing yourself in drugs, TV, alcohol, sugar or even over-indulgent Internet or video games. And, of course, you are unhappy. Very very very unhappy.
And what do you do once you are in this place where everything seems dark? How do you rid yourself of the toxic?
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to how to detox your life because you – and only you- truly see the situation for what it is.
But, there is some expansive design that can help you in your environment, for sure, to kick-start the process:
1. Clean up everything around you.
2. Burn sage with wide open windows. While you burn it, imagine the stress and negativity leaving your life.
3. Put bowls of sea salt everywhere around you for at least a full day and dump them outside into the Earth again.
4. Get rid of everything stained, broken or worn out that you don’t want to repair. Repair what you can.
5. Add more full-spectrum light bulbs and open your curtains or blinds to more sun.
How will this help? The more you can see your life as a reflection of something organized and beautiful, the more you will be able to seperate yourself from the disorganized and chaotic. The magnetic pull of drama feels less powerful. The constant drag is easier to avoid.
You know that feeling after you get out of the ocean and lay on the beach with your feet in the hot sand and the sun streaming down? That’s completely carefree. That’s what happens when you energetically clear lots of space around you. An oasis of calm is created. You start unwinding from this place. It’s easier to create stronger personal boundaries. It’s harder for toxic stuff to invade your life. Naturally this toxic stuff starts looking really unappealing.
It may not be a complete overnight fix to solve your toxic job, relationship or environment situations that pull on you, but that’s OK. If you keep clearing space, you’ll have time to learn the lessons from these situations so you can spot them more quickly and avoid them more easily in the future. Keep going! You will get through!
Are you feeling excited at the prospect of a less toxic life?
The cool news is that your move to detox won’t just affect you, it seems to inspire lots of people around you who also want to break free of the negative web of toxicity to do their own life-lifting.
Go for it. Set yourself free! And if you have questions or comments or a story to share, please leave them below since this is a big conversation to have!
P.S.: The Joy Immersion is a a month of happy-making, mirror-polishing, life-lifting and simple space shifting!
It’s loaded with lots of actions (some you may know for sure even if you’ve never fully practiced them, some you’ve likely never seen or heard of…!) that can help you detox from your own negative stuff, uncover more of your greatness and light, and see happiness everywhere you look…! There’s feng shui, there’s life-shifting, there’s lots of creativity… and it’s a daily commitment to a positive life shift… which is a positive life shift already!!!
And, if you want to dive in to your own personalized feng shui in a modern, practical way, Say hello to Feng Shui 101. Its the guide I made for you to create your own personalized feng shui at home, in the office, wherever you may be… in 8 weeks. It’s not filled with strict rules or what you “must” do. Its filled with information, questions, exercises and even videos and classes to help you confidently create amazing spaces with killer feng shui and live with more flow. Learn more about the 8-week feng shui adventure & grab your copy to get started right HERE… And, as always, please let me know what happens!