Bob is a miracle dog. I mean, he’s been a miracle to me, even though he is not-trainable, not interested in dog activities and not particularly nice to other dogs.  Bob is indifferent to what he doesn’t like… and passionate about what he does like.  Very deliberate smelling-things walks, bouncing on sofas, rubbing up close to people, licking ears and faces, eating organic cookies… watching certain cartoons… all big in his world.

But what isn’t interesting he doesn’t bother with.

He doesn’t feel guilty for not participating.  He isn’t “left out” when we walk past a pack of dogs. He can’t be bothered.

He’s mastered the art of being himself.

Today, that art of “just being who you are” is on my mind.

Are you unapologetically you?

(via)

Catch phrases can go terribly bad sometimes.  I mean… “get out of your own way” or “love yourself” or “be yourself” can be so absract that it’s maddening to wonder what or how you are supposed to do this.

I have many emails come in where people want to know how to fix a problem but they don’t know the steps.

The steps are personal so its this Catch 22 to be in the advice-giving seat. Which is why I respond and say I can’t give this kind of advice because its all a disservice.

No one can tell you exactly how to stay out of your own way or love or be yourself…

But, I have noticed a few universal things that pop up in the service of wanting to live with more love, freedom and creativity.

Don’t care what people think. 

It does suck to be ostracized.  But I think growing up in Jersey as a too-tall, too-ugly, too-smart, too-poor kid did a lot to help me to get over that feeling very fast.  While I used to be bullied to tears, the tough-love of New Jersey taught me to remind myself that when we all grew up these kids would be living very sad, miserable lives if they didn’t change.  And I’d be far out of their reality, doing things they’d never be able to do.  And… it was true, all of it. I wish they’d get a grip… but people who criticize are not usually the same ones that make great things happen for themselves, you know?

Stop being a victim of everything. 

Yes, you might be having a dark day, or a struggle of a year… but you aren’t a victim.  I mean, you can choose to be a victim if you want to… but its a downhill slope.  The quality I most admire in people is the ability to take responsibility for landing in any situation… to own it to the point where its a lesson, not a condemnation… and to turn it around.  While I don’t think you should blame yourself for accidents or tragedies, these can either bury you or define you in a bigger way. Its worth getting all the help you can, if you need it,  to untangle trauma and start seeing every way to view life, rather than how its failed you.

Weed out other peoples dreams and expectations. 

You aren’t your mom or your dad or your husband or your wife… so you don’t have to live up to any images other than the ones that you set for you.  Are you slogging around other people’s dreams and half-heartedly hoping to make them real? What about your own?

Focus more on things that make life feel enormous.

If you are struggling to make a decision, what if you decide in a way that makes life feel the most unlimited?

The best decisions I make are usually completely irrational but they make me feel… huge, strong, infinite… awesome!

Stay willing to do anything and everything (within moral and legal bounds!) to be true to yourself and the greatest good.

Wherever you feel like you aren’t being yourself… can you?

Where you feel like you need a change… can you make one?

Where you know its time to let go… are you ready?

People I know who are really into being who they are will go the distance for things they believe in, they’ll hustle with heart and soul, they just sort of embody all that they stand for… Their dreams and their lives are fused into one.

That’s why I think the art of lifestyle is so powerful and necessary.

How you spend every day = your life.

Style that time and space and everything in it and you can align so much more directly with everything you dream about, every day, naturally, as it probably should be, you know?!

xoxo Dana

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