When you get seemingly great opportunities – the ones that sound so good to say, the peole and the things and the chances that may sound like a dream-come-true— they aren’t always great.
Even if this stuff is fun to talk about and tempting to accept because, well, it’s an opportunity… sometimes it’s just not right.
And saying NO may be totally unpopular. It may make you look crazy to others. It may move a bunch of people to lecture you, gasp, tell you you’re wrong…
Do it anyway. Make the decisions that make you feel amazing.
Every time I’ve violated this simple principle, things have been a disaster. Every time I’ve sat in trust and said “No” to what I didn’t want… it’s been a storm of greatness to follow.
Let’s get into the feng shui today of making choices that make life open up in brilliant ways!
A year out of college, I had a stunning social life happening in New York. It was the only thing happening for me, but it was really big and every day was an adventure. It may have been to the detriment of having a career to live in my 24-hour whirl of events, but it was a moment that made sense to me. I wasn’t out doing drugs or even drinking or doing destructive things… I was out with artists, creatives, icons at times, brilliant friends in a space of synergy that never stopped moving in Manhattan… Artist’s studios, elaborate parties, dinners, making friends, swimming in tree lined pools in the country and strolling the downtown streets between music and culture and fashion and art.
I did have jobs, and they were cool jobs, but I knew that someting bigger would come. So when I got a call from Vogue to work there… the ultimate dream of the consummate fashion and art lover…
I said NO.
On the spot.
It was the easiest and most shocking conversation… I still remember every word, even where I was standing in my mom’s kitchen tapping my fingers on the orange formica countertops as I was talking.
Something in me knew if I said yes, I’d miss something bigger.
Weeks of being lectured, gasped at and even told to go fix what I did and beg for that job ensued.
I got scrambled in my head. Could my great certainty have led me off my path? Did I turn down my chance to do something truly great?
Less than four weeks later, I met the man who changed my life for a decade in ways no one else at the time could. I travelled the world. I quit the 24-hour party for a whole new adventure. I learned. I got grounded. I transformed. And while it wasn’t a career move, it was a life move that I needed to make, and had I said yes to that phone call I would have missed this whole blazing chapter of my life.
Suddenly, everyone who told me I was wrong praised my intuition to not take that job.
Funny how fast the tides change.
Are you sitting with possibly unpopular decisions to make? Things that sound great but just aren’t great?
I had to make another unpopular decision recently that reminded me of why and how I pick things intuitively. It’s a product of tapping into energy and flowing with things that are really resonant. It’s not mental gymnastics. When it’s right, you don’t need to convince yourself that it’s right, it just is.
Does it make you feel bigger?
Everything in feng shui that indicates as a great-energy addition to a space creates spaciousness. Whether it’s burning sage or opening windows, moving a mirror or dumping an old chair… if it leaves you with a sense that you are larger after you do it, you’re doing it right! Same goes for decisions. Do they make you feel excited or trapped? Do you think of your life with this new addition and feel much larger for saying yes?
Does it excite you to handle the details?
If the thought of getting out of the dreamy fantasy of saying yes to an opportunity and imagine all the details to care for… do those details make you excited? Does it feel like a game or an exciting challenge to prepare for something… or does it feel like a heavy obligation? It’s very easy to get wrapped up in a fantasy of something but the reality may not be as glamorous.
The biggest job of my former life in art was presented to me as “really not that glamorous.” I was so excited and it felt so right that the non-stop details to handle (even at 3am on the weekends) thrilled me.
Does it seem like something worth fighting for if it goes off track or proves to be a bigger challenge than it is?
I’ve finally become OK with the fact that pretty much nothing great comes to me without challenges. Even when you’re working with awesome people, or surrounded by love, or immersed in spirituality… there are things that go awry. It’s not a negative assumption. It’s actually positive. Everything worth doing tests boundaries and stretches them to the edges.
If you aren’t willing to be stretched, to immerse, to go deeper and move through the obstacles without throwing your hands up… it’s a good indication that NO is a good answer!
Does it bring a buzz of energy into your days?
Call me an unrealistic person if you want, but every new project new habit and even new person that enters my life and becomes a part of it has to have an energy that works with my own. There’s a classic idea that things either drain or enhance your energy. It’s come to be a great guide to making choices.
Chances are that not everyone will applaud you for turning down seemingly great things. It doesn’t matter. You need to applaud yourself.
Scarcity- the idea that there’s only so much to go around and that life has limitations that should prompt us to take what we can get no matter what it is…. That’s not a place to sit in and make choices.
Choose from a wider, broader and more grounded place.
Choose what makes you feel amazing. Luckily, you’re the only one that needs to love your decisions!
xoxo Dana
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It’s the guide I made for you to create your own personalized Feng Shui at home, in the office, wherever you may be… in 8 weeks.
It’s not filled with strict rules or what you “must” do.
It’s filled with information, questions, exercises and even videos and classes to help you confidently create amazing spaces with killer Feng Shui and live with more flow. Learn more about the 8-week Feng Shui adventure & grab your copy to get started right HERE…
And, as always, please let me know what happens!
Love you!