A big part of the last decade of work I’ve done feng shui’ing and shifting spaces to shift lives has to do with identifying the patterns and habits that are so clear to me now, so clearly laid out in an environment, so clearly described by my clients but yet, somehow, they don’t see them.
I do the same for myself, reaching out to other people to say what am I missing here?!
When something stays the same or repeats over and again- the same bad landlord no matter where you move, the same relationships, the same jobs, the same dynamics, the same sense of loss and frustration, the same angers and fears the problem isn’t outside of us. It’s us.
That’s not a statement of blame. It’s actually the road to freedom.
While I can see all this stuff for other people in their environment and life patterns, trust me, I can’t easily see it for myself.
These things are commonly called BLINDSPOTS.
And you can be free of them !
Yesterday I did an innovative and transformational mode of healing called EMDR. While sitting there, open to hearing everything, the idea was presented to me: when you are traumatized, you store that stuff away because it’s too overwhelming to deal with. While you intellectually strive to never repeat the traumatic situation again, and you hyper-vigilantly check to be sure that your new boss, new love, new home or anything else is free and clear of any “red flags”, you’re actually blind to the red flags. You can’t see them within you and so you repeat things you don’t want to experience over and over again.
To break the cycle, the idea is to finally spot the stuff you’ve been missing that you’ve stored away.
Then you can take actions to handle the real problem at it’s core and resolve it once and for all!
I now see for myself that if I’m constantly trying to justify being right and constantly feeling wronged, constantly repeating similar scenarios in any aspect of life, it’s not a coincidence. It’s all being created by ME. It’s how the blindspots come to life.
They are creative blocks, obstacles, anger, fear and limitation.
Are you seeing the same things happening over and over again and yet you don’t know why?
This is the life clutter that is your greatest opportunity to grow.
If you’re feeling trapped in circumstances that don’t change and the patterns aren’t easily revealing themselves, genius Martha Beck presents a spectacular way to spot your own hidden stuff in her brilliant article Seeing Your Emotional Blindspots:
3. People consistently describe you in a way that doesnt fit your self-image.
If tracking patterns in love and luck isnt enough to reveal your blind spots, theres another way to go after them. You just have to notice what people tell you about yourselfthe things you have always cleverly ignored or routinely discounted. Complete the following sentences as accurately as you can, and you might be closing in on a truth you havent fully acknowledged.
People are always telling me that Im
I get a lot of compliments about
When my friends or family members are angry with me, they say that
People often thank me for
If you heartily agree with all the information that pops up in response to these phrases, youve simply reinforced an accurate self-concept by recalling times when others have validated your perceptions. But if any of the descriptions seem strange, incongruous, or flat-out false, consider the possibility that your image of yourself may not be accurateand almost certainly doesnt correspond to what other people perceive. By the way, you may well discover that youre blind to your positive characteristics as well as negative ones ” (you can read the whole article HERE and you absolutely should!)
Once you find your own blindspots well it’s awesomely freeing. I mean, it doesn’t take them away just to name them, but it’s the start of something radical.
Now, you have something real to work with. Instead of turning the mirror on others, you can see within yourself the real issues.
What do you do next?
That’s up to you, but I can offer a few ideas that have worked and still work for me and clients and friends…
Get help. Support is the best. Counseling, group therapy, classes, EFT, EMDR, Psych-K. Cleraing away trauma requires support and finding great support is the best investment you can make in every way to ensure your wellbeing.
Stay spacious. Keep clearing the air with a fan, with palo santo or open windows. Keep clearing closets. Keep clearing away cobwebs, dust and dirt at home. Stretch your body. Look for great views like the sunset to open your mind.
And keep going. Practice keeping your house clean. Practice habits that support your wellbeing. Practice mediation. Practice journalling
The most painful and entrenched patterns and blindspots open the doors to so much positive change.
This is the kind of de-cluttering that will be a turning point in your life, the start of a chapter where you truly soar!
P.S.: If you want to really immerse yourself in the light of joy so much more, my favorite Feng Shui and cutting-edge energy-shifting tools that I use almost every day are HERE for you in the Joy Immersion: 30 Day Negativity Detox!
Welcome to Creating Genius!
I spent the last year creating this e-guide to balancing and unblocking life by pulling together the best of a decade of space-changing and life-shifting feng shui! It’s 50 days and 50 ways to use feng shui to shift your space and your routines to move from “stuck” to creatively inspired and alive.
As a thank you for helping me make this guide (many of you have helped in important ways), and as a celebration of it’s arrival (!!!) the e-guide is ON SALE for just one week… so now’s a great time to get started.
And As a special bonus when you get the e-guide– a bonus that thrills me! I’m leading a private Creating Genius + Artist’s Way Group for all of you, to guide you online through twelve weeks of creative awesomeness this year!
Gather up your magic & make gorgeous dreams come true!