Could You Be Limiting How Much Good You Welcome Into Your Life?

Jun 2, 2017 | Creativity


Wild, free, excited, passionate, can’t wait to jump out of bed…

That’s the new normal we strive for, to be in that magic zone, right?

Manifesting magic, all kinds of joy flowing….

It’s doubtful that many people will freely and excitedly admit that they’re not very open to the things that they say they want.

I’m not one quick to admit it.

But, these limitations are sneaky in my life.

I doubt anyone is really up for saying that— especially after success, especially after triumph over adversity, and, especially after hearing so much about manifesting greatness. After all that learning it’s humbling that still there are limitations that keep life feeling and looking small. It’s even more humbling that these limitations are self-generated.

I know I definitely have not been a fan of admitting my own self-imposed limitations, especially now when I help so many people move past their own ways of keeping the door shut to good things.

True story- if we were all 100% unlimited in our thinking we’d not be reading, stretching and wanting to grow because we’d be there already. But… the more and more I find I’m willing to open the door to welcome in more good- more of all kinds of abundance in all forms- the more opportunities are presented for me to do just that.

Some time way back, in a moment where I was caught between things- doing very well in all of life but so far from where I felt I needed to be to perceive I had real freedom- I hit a wall. I stopped feeling excited because the newness of things I was doing and the rush of success wore off to some degree (got a bit jaded) and I hadn’t created a plan beyond where I’d arrived in my relationship, my work and even in my spiritual life (got a bit complacent).

That saying that “we’re either growing or declining” hit me in a big way.

I went from wildly excited about every day and all the ideas and visions and work and adventures to… overthinking, spiraling, then worrying, then living in a mode of maintenance instead of expansion.

I went from “I want to do so much to revolutionize my life” very slowly, but consistently to, ” I just want to get by and do a little bit better if I can.”

It was shocking that this happened. I never wrote about it because it was perplexing and it scared me for the future of what I was making and doing. There’s that word: “scared.” And, all the angst that went along with it was paralyzing.

I’m so lucky that a friend and mentor of mine caught me in a moment one morning when I could no longer fake that I had lots of passion and magic flowing in my life. She’s built huge businesses, had epic relationships and at nearly 80, is one of the youngest people I know after a fourth life-reinvention. I don’t take advice often, and I try not to take it without making it my own (after all, no one knows me or you as well as we know ourselves) but… this was not advice that was offered. It was a few questions and a blueprint of solutions that took me out of my state of dull inertia to a whole new groove of welcoming in the wonderful.

“What’s your prayer?”

That was the question I was asked when I tried to bolt from my Buddhist temple after a few minutes of chatting because, you know, I felt like I had things under control, even if it was a daily project to feel even a little bit of passion and expansiveness about what was in front of me. I had to go, I had to keep my head down and hostile and pray that I’d have even the smallest hints of progress.

Who had I become?! And how?!

I had no time to craft an acceptable answer and my nearly blank mind handed me something like, “I’m praying to get through everything I have to do well and get ahead of myself again.”

She looked at me with a very definitive stare and said, “sit down.”

I didn’t sit. So she repeated herself.


I knew when I sat down I would see what was happening and…

She pulled down the amphitheater chair for me, pulled a notebook from her bag and listed things out.

It started with…

Here’s what’s happening:

Just getting by. 

It’s never enough no matter how much. 

Not believing that it’s worthwhile. 

The right space is needed. 

Fear of the bigger. 

I just sort of nodded while she wrote the list. She’s known me a long time so I listened intently. I didn’t really think of myself as a “just getting by” type person, but I wasn’t arguing. Four years into my own groove of blazing a trail creatively and really revolutionizing my personal life didn’t really feel like the time when I would be so limited and afraid.

She explained to me that until I could stop looking backward and started looking forward and seeing how the good would unfold instead of examining what I’d done in the past, I would always in some way be confined by those past limits.

Then there was the stunning truth:

“Why would you want to pray to just get by in life? Who can you help if you’re just getting by?”

I started to feel an old sense of thrill bubbling up.

“I get it.”

“So, what’s your prayer now?” she asked.

“To get past my limited thinking?”

“Nope. That’s looking backward.”

She wrote on the list the word SOLUTIONS.

Then she added the words: confidence, emotional wellbeing, and… the line that really stuck with me:

To have more wisdom and vision to see life unfolding as I create it… as big as it can possibly be… in the service of making this a better world.

I found my new prayer. A mantra. A forward instead of backward focus. Something that transcended a to-do list or what I’d seen and know was possible before.

Where are things staying small? Where don’t they move? Where has the excitement drained out? 

That may be where you stopped welcoming in the new.

How’s this lack of welcome reflected around you? Look at that reflection not just in material ways— lots of people can “finance” a great looking space full of luxury items that create a false flash of abundance. Rather, inquire emotionally and even spiritually about your environment.

For me it was the two (basically pajama) outfits I wore for a lot of the day while hiding out in my house and working. It was the draining feeling of a few spots at home that I didn’t realize because I was too lost in my own thoughts. It was very clear to me once I saw it all  how I closed the door to more welcome.

Can you make a shift into more of the unlimited by investing some love into the place where you live and everything around you? Yes, love and attention is the investment to make. Shifting the energy, the placement, the way things make you feel.
You can invest lots of money if you want to, but it’s not the luxurious price tags that will communicate the power you are looking for; that comes from love.

There’s no perfection required. 

You don’t need perfect circumstances to welcome in the good.
Welcoming in more good seems to come easier when we’re happier, more vibrant and more alive… but I have welcomed in massive amounts of good when I was heartbroken, depleted and overwhelmed, too. I prefer the first much more… but it’s all still a space where you can welcome in greatness.

Could you give up the comfort of limitations?

Yes, that was the last question I was asked on that fated day. Can you give up all this stuff you’ve been saying is the reason why, the hold up, the blah blah blah that pulls you off your track?

I know you can!!!

I did it … I still do it. It’s never over… but I find it gets just so much easier.

I’m so grateful for that day where I had a big mirror showing me some of myself that I couldn’t see. And for the solutions that came from that hour of reflection and refocusing.

Swing the door open to more and more of the unlimited.

Let’s do this, shall we?!

xoxo Dana

P.S.: This season, there’s an eight-week online Feng Shui Camp coming soon to organize and energize your home and life to create breakthroughs: The Breakthrough Camp!

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