Deep self-love. Lalah Delia, a beacon of hard-core high vibe brilliance, shoots straight at the truth with this simple message.
It’s almost like she’s been following me around for the last month or two, it hits home in such a big way.
Presently, self-love looks very different from what you might think in my own house. It’s still got its blizzards of essential oils, experimental salads, ritual baths, potions and energy clearing in so many ways, but they’re all reserved for when I’m really craving any or all of them…if at all.
Right now, I’m being rained on by the Universe these days with messages everywhere I turn. Dreams that are so crisp they’re absolutely real, messages in my inbox, happenstance, synchronicity. Even weird occurrences that would once rattle me (like almost getting mugged last night, a story for another time!) that shake out to be proof of a feeling that’s guiding me the right way.
I’ve also been making some unorthodox and, by some people’s standards, totally crazy decisions lately to give myself what I deeply needed. Sleeping 10+ hours a day, shutting off my phone at 8pm most days, speaking my mind even if I don’t only have pretty words to speak, and when I do have loving words to speak that I’d be apt to hold back.
It’s brought me the perfect next steps. It’s pointing me in directions I never would have “thought up” myself. It’s showing me how absolutely hollow some things now ring that I once thought I “needed”. It’s bringing people and ideas and opportunities into my life in ways that are shattering my mind in ways that are glorious.
I’m honored, humbled and, as they say in some circles, feeling pretty “woke” from this decision to follow how I feel at my core as the only thing I follow now.
Feeling first. Thinking next.
In the process, people have been wondering if I lost my passion or if I’m sick (!) because I’m sleeping so much and sort of dropping back into myself in a way that feels so epic I can tell you— now I am really designing my dream life. The last 8 or so years were like a really excellent first draft compared to how I feel now.
I realize how much more I needed for me. And, you might realize how much more you’ve needed for you.
Deep self love as a compass. This is really thrilling in the service of anything you want, and most importantly, in the service of yourself.
I get a lot of messages from people asking me for ideas to stand up, speak out, get into a new realm of creating things, starting businesses, doing those things they’ve always wanted to do. It’s what I do in people’s homes— we carve out new pathways and elevate everyday experiences to a far more harmonious energy to hit a point of freedom. With my clients, they’ve always gotten this compass of their truth as the guide. With all of you who’ve asked me things over the years, I hope I’ve given you that same impression.
You might be excellent at advising your friends in decisions.
I hear over and over again, “I’m so wise with my friends, why can’t I be that wise for myself?”
I understand. I got that kick of my own in the past year.
In fact, it was a friend who asked me why I can’t do for me as much as I do for everyone else.
Talk about the truth not many people will tell you when you’ve spent far over 20,000 hours in the universe I live in a lot of my life of writing, sharing, making, designing, camps online, workshops…. and you’ve pretty much revamped your whole life to make this dream come true.
That conversation was the everything moment for me.
We all have that “everything” moment. Maybe ten or twenty of them. I’ve had many in the past, those talks or rock-bottoms that are the “I’m never turning back from here” time, but this ah-ha was something I wasn’t getting even though I was searching for it, asking for it…
I kept finding things outside of myself, people outside of myself, instead of me because I started to get lost in the Tao of me. It’s all such a passion I didn’t realize how much of the passion for my very own self was getting watered down.
I guess the blessing here is that I know that we all can design our lives as we want them to be.
Deep self love has saved me many times. When I was told I might die. When I had to heal myself when medicine couldn’t. When I’ve fell into the dark.
I love me, and I have for years. I bet you love you, too.
What I let loose of is the idea that the quality of that love, and the time spent to listen to what I deeply needed, mattered much more that keeping up with all my good practices, diet, sunshine, optimism, rituals, routines…
It’s like a perfect romance that starts to wither slowly because it’s not as connected. You’ve stopped showing up fully. You’ve fallen into a pattern, despite doing all the right things. Life intervenes, we get busy, we fall on automatic. We become effect of old habits. It’s hard to know sometimes where it began, but it only comes back to life when that deep soul comes through and you show up and keep showing up.
That’s the kind of self love I needed: the kind that’s so real it’s overwhelmingly good. Showing up with heart, voice and all-senses-engaged type of love that doesn’t care what anyone thinks.
When I stopped to embrace this kind of love I realized how insanely tired I was, along with bored, off track in my soul…
I’m so grateful I slowed down enough to hear it and finally listen.
You might realize you’ve been bored, stuck or swallowing your truth. You might see where you’ve let your boundaries be trampled, where you’ve let trauma steer your life…
Hear it and see it. And love yourself enough to let that be your compass.
Your life won’t fall apart because you’ve decided to love yourself that deeply. I used that excuse to keep my phone on till 11 or 12 or 2 am answering emails from around the world that I could have answered in the morning. I used that fear to stay on a train that was never going to stop until I pulled a dramatic break to slow things down enough to get off, and I didn’t want to stop all the momentum that’s so amazing!
I thought that my joy and your joy and all the beauty and success being created was something that I could never do too much of…
It really is something I can’t do too much of— as long as I’ve done all I need to do to feel 100% alive and full of love.
I have more momentum now. I have more of everything now. I do more that matters now.
Deep self love.
Whatever you need, do it.
Even if it means you find yourself like me for a while, asleep more than you’ve ever slept before.
All this sleep, it’s making magic happen.
That magic’s waiting for all of us.
P.S.: The Love Camp is coming in soon to kick off a season of LOVE, and the hour-long FREE video series packed with love-magnetic Feng Shui is starting HERE!
I can’t wait for you to experience these videos.
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