Let’s let that go!
I’m drawn to write this on a Friday afternoon because I started the day with someone’s flattering inquiry that I declined to developed feng shui products (talismen, etc.) and then I just spent a good two hours after a very special call I loved filled with questions fielding more questions from readers who were worried, stressed, concerned, anxious and some completely beside themselves because they heard that their home would do great harm to their love life, their money, their life in general…
I know that those messages don’t come from nowhere, at least not where feng shui is concerned.
We hear the feng shui rules: don’t have a mirror facing your bed (I do, it’s amazing), don’t face a certain direction while you sleep or it’s bad luck based on your birthday (?), don’t, don’t, don’t… or else bad things will happen.
And then there’s the thrilling fallacy of luck coming from strings and prisms and duck sculptures and the like.
If you believe, you may feel it work for a time. But only a very very powerful placebo effect will turn powerless things and damning dogma into reality.
Please don’t give away your power to all this stuff.
I mean, you can if you want to (!) but it’s not what I’m here to help with.
Objects are powerful in that the special ones are feeply connected to us. We all have things we love that fill us with powerful memories, great feelings… they might even feel lucky to us because they wake up lots of joy as we interact with them. Even my fur baby Bob has a donut that lights a fire in his eyes.
That’s very different from walking through a property full of totems and flutes and stuff that my clients don’t understand that someone put there that they are scared has gone wrong and doomed their lives.
I know you know the difference.
There are super-powerful tools in feng shui- and in all of life- like the science behind astrology, the amazing bagua map that I’ve seen line up so well with people’s actual lives thousands of times, the best practices for just about anything are usually a solid core.
Then, there are human interpretations. And I’m sure that they’re all well-meaning, people interpreting luck and fortune directions and heretical buddhism and black magic into some sort of help. But I can tell you from the now probably thousands of messages I get that start with “Please Help!” that it’s not always helping.
And, as you probably can tell, I don’t think it helps at all.
My only “interpretation” of feng shui is that you need to feel at home first and foremost. The way I work with the tools of feng shui are holistic. They are best practices, and I only use the core best pratices that can be mainly be supported by the history of art, sciences, holistic healing or traditional chinese medicine.
I sometimes catch myself over-reaching into the tools because they are so rich and dynamic and then I focus back very clearly on you. You matter most. Your experience matters.
Your house doesn’t need to be a study in feng shui perfection to have an amazing life, and when I see people striving for perfection, usually the drive is a mental one, not a heart-felt core desire.
I started learning feng shui based on a will to heal myself and my life. My heart was wide open.
Heartfelt core desires, well, those are stunningly powerful. I’ve seen it over a decade.
Perfection-drives fall flat. It’s kind of like writing a book following a formula and making sure, primarily, that everything is formatted right, things are spelled correctly and the grammar is standard and exceptional.
Would you read that book?
Maybe…. But it sounds so boring and so tedious!
Where’s the soul, the page turning insane riffs, the passionate romance and delicious characters that you want to know… you want to meet… you can’t stop turning the pages…
That’s what’s alive! That’s what’s magnetic!
I don’t want you to have a boring and tedious life.
Add soul to your space. Add soul to your days. This is fuel, color and dimension.
Of course, there are amazing things to be found in all kinds of healing arts and self-betterment and wellness.
But, when you stop mattering in the process and the “healing art” or the rules and dogma are taking over as the “cause” of your problems or the “solution” for things without your participation, that’s when the ground is shaky.
It reminds me of the time in my life that without– a famous psychic, energy healer, and a litany of other things and people that were outside of myself– I couldn’t feel secure.
It happened slowly, then quickly.
I was anxious, confused, stuck… I was a speck of myself. It took me years to get my energy and confidence back because it was so hard to forgive myself.
If you’ve given the reigns to other people or to dogma that has you feeling trapped, forgive yourself.
You can’t fault yourself for wanting the best possible life or the best solutions to your problems.
Then, you might want to start tuning in in ways that feel good. Alone time, quiet, nature… What are you really needing?
I’ve found a lot of amazing and even life-saving gifts in healers, in self-betterment, in spirituality… and I’ve also lost my soul and self in all of the above.
You know the difference between what you’re “engaged with” and what’s “happening to you.”
You know the difference between feeling powerful and feeling dreadfully confused and unlucky and damned or cursed.
I wish I could hire a web designer who did work I loved, but the requirement that I was given that I could have no participation or ideas added to the design in order for my new blog to “reach it’s full potential” really squashed my spirit.
Twelve years ago, I would have hired him in a second. I wanted other people to do everything that was best and I wanted to be told how to live. I came to know that was a fast track to nowhere.
Superstition works the same way.
We can do it with diets, talismen, oracles, stepping on cracks in the pavement…and in feng shui, depending on what you’re reading, you’ll find tons of it.
Nothing is more powerful than you.
Lots of great knowledge can support you.
Nothing will ever take the place of your connection and participation in all of life.
So, you have nothing to worry about if you’ve read you’re going to have bad luck in the Chinese New Year or anything else!
You’re the luck-maker, the passion-bringer and all that magic you’re hoping for has everything to do with you.
And, if you want to dive in to your own personalized feng shui in a modern, practical way, Say hello to Feng Shui 101. Its the guide I made for you to create your own personalized feng shui at home, in the office, wherever you may be… in 8 weeks. It’s not filled with strict rules or what you “must” do. Its filled with information, questions, exercises and even videos and classes to help you confidently create amazing spaces with killer feng shui and live with more flow. Learn more about the 8-week feng shui adventure & grab your copy to get started right HERE… And, as always, please let me know what happens!