That’s a belief, you know. More than a belief, it’s like a theme song.
I can get only so far before things will stop going my way.
I will never get past “X” place because it’s just impossible.
When really good things happen, really bad things happen.
It’s the lyrics before we give up, what we tell ourselves when we’re afraid to try something new, how we hide, how we justify the drama and the downturns that seem inevitable.
If you want to get a glimpse of the theme song of your own creative blocks and self-sabotage, ask yourself what you say when things are completely upside down and you’re flipping out.
For me, it’s “I have to take care of everything on my own!” And…” I need to get ahead of myself!”
My sense that help will never be adequate so I have to do everything for myself and the idea that I’m always behind in my life are two things that have haunted and limited me.
Yes, I did have to do everything on my own as a kid that lots of other kids got help with. And, yes, I did need to get ahead when I was younger so I could survive, get an education, live my purpose.
I always thought these were my strengths!
When I saw how they’d morphed into me only being able to go so far in anything before I hit overwhelm, I was astonished.
And, then there’s me, always finding a way to be “catching up” instead of far ahead of myself.
Not a mystery how it’s all related.
Awesome to see all this.
What do you scream about or proclaim in anger or cry in frustration?
That may just be the stuff that’s sitting there hoping in a develish way to be a self-fulfilling prophesy.
Just because you say it once or flip out and yell about it doesn’t mean it’s going to come true.
So, then, what do you do with that mind junk?
Well, for starters, it’s mirrored in your home in a feng shui sense. The chaos or darkness. The unfinished construction. Broken things. Whatever your beliefs are, they are being shown to you in many different ways.
We’re seeing signs all the time that show us what we’re telling ourselves.
Tackle the outside– upgrade your home space and work space— and it can help life you out of that automatic fire of the same-same-same stuff.
Then there’s your lovely and complex mind.
I’d love to say there was one technique to master that mind stuff.
There are many helpful techniques, but there’s one thing I’ve found to be most expedient and easy.
Even if you hear yourself saying that same old thing, feeling like ugh and talking about your imminent failure, don’t let it sweep you under the waves by judging yourself for it.
Don’t judge yourself for being a human being.
It’s really OK to have garbage thoughts for a few minutes or even hours (!!!) It doesn’t mean you’ll fail at life.
We’re all negative sometimes. We’re also deeply complex and it’s a lot to expect to be able to wipe your life clean of every less-than-shining thought because it’s not “positive.”
Sure, we all tell ourselves damning and unhelpful things all the time. I don’t know how to shut that off 1000%. I’ve tried. I’ve spent 10 years and tens of thousands of dollars attempting methods, working harder at this than anything else I’ve every tried to do.
I now love that I can see when I’m doing shitty things to myself. I don’t judge myself for having a bad afternoon or a mood or being really angry or frustrated or anything else too harshly. I see it now when it happens- rather than imagining that it was “happening to me”- because I’m no longer wishing to be “cleansed” of everything that’s impossible to erase, ashamed when I feel ugly or ungrateful or a mess or anything else.
I see it now — this wave of dark- and sometimes it gets me, starts sending me in a spiral, and when I catch it I do something new. Something else. Sleep. Walk. Go out.
I don’t talk about it, ruminate, keep repeating it in my mind because I’m so upset at myself.
This really helps a lot.
If I have something to heal, to address, that’s staring me in the face after a really bad day, I make an appointment, phone calls, whatever I need.
And, leave it right there. No more dragging it around, with all the guilt and stress.
We are never going to 100% erase every trace of who we were or thought or anything else. We can heal the trauma. We likely won’t ever release our mind of every negative thought, and I’m not sure we want to…
Work with it. Even the dark stuff.
Heal what’s unhealed as you go. You won’t erase your past, but you’ll reshape it, lighten it and free yourself.
Let the right ways to do that find you. In the meantime, try not to beat yourself up for having mad/crazy/bad days or less-than-shining thoughts sometimes.
Keep on living forward and aiming higher— even if you feel like a hot mess right now. Those can be such stunning breakthrough days…!
Welcome to Creating Genius!
I spent the last year creating this e-guide to balancing and unblocking life by pulling together the best of a decade of space-changing and life-shifting feng shui! It’s 50 days and 50 ways to use feng shui to shift your space and your routines to move from “stuck” to creatively inspired and alive.
Gather up your magic & make gorgeous dreams come true!