It’s easy to be general in speaking, writing, living and deciding. It’s also safer at times. And, the trade-off for that safety is a lack of spark and full-blown expression.
I get that there are times you just don’t know exactly what you want so it’s hard to be specific, but if you don’t know exactly what you want, getting clarity will help you to make it, bring it, welcome it or experience it.
Even if it starts with, I’m not exactly sure what this will look like yet, but I know I want… and I know I don’t want… This is very much more powerful than “I don’t really know what I want.” or “I’m open to everything.”
I mean, why close the door on anything, right?
But… clarity opens way more doors than generalization. Full expression weeds out what’s not right and cements in place what is right.
While you may not instantly get everything you want, and you may not even fully know what it looks like until it arrives, the more clear you are in full, the more crisp your words ring, the more powerful your life will feel and that momentum is unbreakably strong.
Everything that’s been creatively stuck ever in my life, looking back, was a product of my own bet-hedging by being far less clear than I could have been for fear of being wrong, being rejected or closing doors on other options.
Basically, being “open to everything” without clarity brought me a lot of everything, but not what I wanted!
I see this in homes a whole lot. It’s a safe bet to go neutral and traditonal with choices because you can’t really go wrong, but if what you choose doesn’t reflect you or inspire you and maybe even is boring or bland or too stuffy or clutter-filled, you’re sort of missing out on having a home that supports you and brings you rejuvenating power.
Before we even get to homes, though, let’s talk about just being clear in general.
I know tons of people who are very clear on what they want or want to communicate but they won’t voice it for fear of being wrong, rejected or closing doors on other options.
Yes, apparently I was not alone! It’s far more common to be general than specific.
I’m not suggesting that you insist that every single attribute of your life falls in accord with only exactly what you want, because that’s very rigorous and controlling.
But, let’s imagine a few examples:
Let’s say you went to pitch a business idea to a bunch of potential investors. They like wellness, but you’re not sure what kind. So, you stick to general wellness in your pitch even though you want to write about aromatherapy and your specific perspective. They’re not 100% sure about investing because they don’t know what you’re going to do. You aren’t sure you want to be so “niche” that you lose their interest. And so, it’s just not compelling for them, and you aren’t going to be that excited to write about general wellness even if you do get the investment.
If you pitched the product you want to create, they may say no, but it’s 100% clear. And the chances you’ll find a great investor are so much higher because you know what you’re looking for.
That’s an easy one. Common sense, in a sense.
This whole bet-hedging thing infiltrates more of life is more subtle.
Like when there’s a relationship issue and you’re afraid to speak up because you might rock the boat but you know you are very unhappy.
Or a job promotion you want, but you don’t want to seem too eager, too aggressive, too bold, so you wait to see if people notice you and promote you. Or you speak up, but not too clearly because you don’t want to be rejected.
Or… or… or…
It’s all the same. It’s not really clear.
My own little test of how much clarity I have is really simple.
If I think : “I should have said… sent… asked for… spoke up…” I know I wasn’t clear.
Boldness is scary sometimes. So is self-expression, when you’re not used to it.
What’s more scary, though, in looking back at the trajectory of missed opportunities and stuckness in my past, is not owning who I am and my perspective on things. I believed in some magical way that people would “sense” I was different or talented or underutilized or ready or wanting… and that I wouldn’t have to speak up or ask or say it clearly.
No one did! No one magically noticed!
The more you’re able to express, the more you’re able to know what you don’t know, know where you can be more resounding, know where you can make adjustments, know where you stand, know what clutter you can clear and know what is your path and what isn’t…
It’s worth the daring to have that kind of clarity. It pays off exponentially, in every way.
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