I’ve got breakthroughs on my mind these days: very personal and very overdue breakthroughs.
While I love hearing about all kinds of goal achievement, it’s the highly-personal achievements that perhaps no one else would understand to be significant that are the greatest of all breakthroughs.
In my own life, there’s been one fundamental thing that has moved me forward in these incredibly personal ways:
Trusting myself completely.
If you’ve picked up judgements, invalidations of what you know to be true or categorization and held onto them, they can put a wall between you and your inner truth.
Today, we’re dismantling that wall!
You likely won’t trust your instincts at work if you’ve learned that you’re “horrible at business” from teachers, mentors or colleagues. You might look to them obsessively for advice. You might even seek out more people to direct you, too.
There’s nothing wrong with mentors, guidance and all the great information you can find that helps you… but… if the assistance comes along with certain pre-conditions and very personal (not professional) evaluations and input, there is something wrong.
It happens a while lot.
“You have to follow this exactly or it won’t work at all.” (But, you have an idea to do it better… and now… you won’t even try it.)
“No, that idea you have is totally wrong. You have to do something totally different.” (But, your instincts are telling you something and now you’re going against them.)
“This is the reason things are wrong with you…” (And, even though it makes no sense you feel compelled to listen because it’s expert advice, etc, etc.)
It doesn’t take much evaluation to start spinning in circles.
My ideas are bad. I’m not good enough. My instincts are off. I hope I get it all right so that nothing bad happens to me.
On and on, you can down-spiral in judgement and evaluation, even if it’s coming from the most well-meaning places.
Does this mean that all criticism is bad?
“Your idea is totally wrong…” is not a constructive piece of criticism. It’s an evaluation. Full stop, you are wrong based on someone’s judgement.
“Your idea isn’t communicating well to me, can you explain it more?”
“Im not a fan of this idea personally, and I’ll tell you why if you want to know, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad idea. What’s your plan?”
Pretty different, you know?
Broad criticism and evaluation that aims to take away your power is very bad to hold onto.
Let’s let that go. All of it!!!
First: You don’t need everyone’s approval.
If you’ve been seeking the approval of someone who is super-judgmental, this may be the first freeing step in your forward motion?!
I spent the first half of my life doing this. I can tell you that the bits of great approval I got were very short-lived compared to the endless verbal reminders that I wasn’t good enough.
Next: Learn to trust yourself even more. It’s an active process.
You might want to write out a list of all the advice you knew was wrong but, yet, followed because you didn’t trust yourself.
If your list is long, it might be a good time to do an “advice diet.”
Cut down the time you spend asking for feedback, stop reading advice websites, horoscopes, expert— ALL OF IT— until you feel on solid footing trusting yourself!
When I was working with a therapist and working on trusting myself more, he would ask me if I wanted his feedback about things I’d said, giving me time to think about whether or not I really needed feedback on those things.
It was the start of a personal revolution.
Also: shake off the evaluations that just aren’t true.
I’ve had lots of people project their limitations on me. I’ve had lots of both unsolicited and solicited judgement that lingered.
You may need a great therapist or other empowering professional or group to help you unravel the especially traumatic ones. You may have your own spiritual, emotional and energetic ways to let things go, and that is incredible.
Whatever you do… I hope you allow yourself to be free of it all.
No matter how long it takes.
When that stuff enters my life now and I allow it in, I first get angry and then, I shake it off as fast as I can and get deep into all that empowers me!
You are enough.
What is true for you is true for you.
What feels right is not something to ignore.
Your inner guidance is brilliant.
P.S.: This season, there’s an eight-week online Feng Shui Camp coming soon to organize and energize your home and life to create breakthroughs: The Breakthrough Camp!
It’s Feng Shui to align your energy and your home so that you can manifest more of what you want on a higher level with greater ease!
If you’re ready for breakthroughs, they’re ready for you!
To kick things off, the FREE Feng Shui video series to set up your home to create breakthroughs is on the way!
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