I had a really instructive conversation today with friends today in the midst of a time sensitive business venture. Well, it was instructive for me and I hope for them, too, in some way, because I’ve sat in their shoes and knew what it felt like to hold myself back actively.
What I recognized in this conversation was a lot of the things I used to argue for as limitations that I needed to have in my life. If anyone told me differently, they just didn’t understand me.
Let’s look at this today vs. sinking your whole heart without any reservations into whatever you’re doing.
17 years ago I had several creative projects building momentum… but I would never take the steps to bring them to the next level.
I was a mess of contradictions that I could vehemently and nobly proclaim simply had to be that way.
I argued for my limitations. And hoped and prayed I’d manifest some sort of miracle or be discovered in some magical way.
I wanted to have success— but didn’t want to get too much attention.
I wanted to be more creative, but never had the time to do that because of life, etc, etc.
I wanted to make an impact but… I didn’t want to make a splash because that was ostentations, arrogant, asking for trouble, or any other excuse I could come up with.
I desperately needed help but was ashamed to ask for it.
I didn’t understand clearly what I was doing that always held things in place– without progress, with enormous amounts of hard work, without real rewards, without freedom.
It’s no wonder I dropped everything soon after I started getting a little bit of success.
I didn’t fear success. I feared everything surrounding the idea of putting my whole heart into anything.
Everything had conditions placed around it– not too far, not too much, not too bold, not too self-expressed, not too loud. Never aiming high enough. Never enjoying the process.
I was self-destructive and willfully could convince you that there was no other way but for me to drag myself through life and one day get miraculously rescued by someone who saw my gifts clearly.
This was delusional. And, life knocked the delusion out of me. Fast.
When you can’t afford (or feel you can’t afford) to wait to be saved– you become a lot more resourceful.
I slashed all the things from my life that I was halfway committed to doing.
I sunk deep into being more present every day– because presence doesn’t come with limitations. You can dream up incredible things in the moment when you aren’t lookin backward or calculating forward.
I became obsessed with something worthy– my happiness and my true interests.
The happier I was, the more I was willing to face my resistance/ inner contractions and move beyond them.
I could be seen. Heard. I didn’t pull back on the reigns when things were going well. I stopped settling. I stopped holding myself back. I shattered the idea that anyone would save me.
Whole-hearted investment can lead to moments of disappointment- it’s true.
But: would you rather risk being temporarily disappointed OR life your life in the shadows of all the rationalized and self-imposed limits that stop you from actualizing all your brilliance?
The choice is clear.
And you’d be surprised– even when things don’t go as planned, it’s almost impossible to ever be deeply disappointed when you’ve given your whole heart to everything you do.
You know– absolutely and certainly– that your rewards will still find you.
They always do!
But, nothing’s going to have an easy time finding you if you’re locked in a battle with yourself.
It’s time to shine. Every day. Whole-heartedly.
The results never fail to be epic. And, the abundance in this is unlimited!
P.S.: The Catalyst Camp Life De-Clutter is coming soon!
Clearing clutter- even the overwhelmingly tough stuff- can – and will- be super-fun!!!