Codependency is a giant word with loads of confusing connotations, but the crux of all its meanings is that you are in a majorly unhealthy relationship and you are responsible for being in that spot and you feel that “can not” leave. I was joking to a friend yesterday that the modern definition of soul mate is: “Someone who you feel so connected to that you constantly forgive their radically bad behavior.” I see a lot of this stuff around me, and man, its not fun. I pulled together a round-up of some of the best articles I could find on ending codependency. If you or someone you know has a habit of falling into “love slave-dome” please read on!
Oh, I want everyone in the world to read this exceptionally good article by Lynne Namka that talk all about the unhealthy bonds we can form with others and the root cause- trauma and/or unconfronted anger- that fuels our fire and denial. She also gives great advice on books to read and ways to undo the behavior you are doing!
This article from Mindful Construct was a giant awakening, as it not only discusses the “signs” of codependency, but explains that simply “shutting down” the person or people you are co-dependent with is another part of “co-dependency.” the way out of “love slave-dome” may be to allow yourself to get really tight with who YOU are.
Science Daily has a fabulous article about the reasons people get into these unhealthy alliances and…good news! you can overcome them!
Janique Svedberg wrote a really concise but poignant piece about creating boundaries so that you can really spare yourself the pain of toxic relationships.
If you are locked in something that resembles love but makes you miserable, and you feel you can’t break free, a great therapist or an ALANON group (although mainly for dealing with addict family members, its great for codependency overall!) near you could provide the one-on-one & group support you need to get strong!