Stop Comparing Yourself To Others & Develop Your Sense Of You-ness!!!

Nov 2, 2012 | Creativity


Maybe the compulsion many of us have to compare ourselves to others began as a survival instinct? After all, when you feel like you are competing with someone you might strive to excel and, in so doing, become more successful. Typically, though, this act of comparison leads to nothing but destruction on all fronts. I wonder why we still do it?

The only thing that logically springs to mind based on my old history of brutal self-comparison is that it is easy to compare yourself to others if you don’t have a strongly developed sense of self-esteem.   It is easy to look around you and only see where you fall short if you are not clear about where you stand tall.  If you have a vision for yourself and your life, why would you ever want to be like anyone else?

There’s a crazy-important lesson I leaned from a Buddhist priest- “you have no way of knowing anyone else’s karma.”  You have no idea what its really like to be any of the people you compare yourself to, and you have no clue what is in store for them based on their karma.  Similarly, you don’t know your own karma, either…so to fill your head with negative ideas about your value, your worth and your standing in life in comparison to others does you no great favors!

A few bits of feng shui for developing a stronger sense of personal style:


(the imagination tree)

1. Develop and display some sort of artwork (finger painting counts!!!).  If you want to get really fancy you can make some edible finger paint extremely easily with THIS recipe from The Imagination Tree.

(map of deserts)

2. Fill your home with your favorite music and rotate it often, finding new things that “sound” like you.

3. Purge your closet of stuff you don’t need or want and decide to carefully select pieces of clothing that really make you both look and feel incredible! If you are not the best at dressing, see if a friend who has a knack for style can bring you around to stores to try on different looks until you find what is most “you.”  Beware of letting other people try to impose their vision for you on you… this is about YOU feeling amazing as genuinely YOU!

4. Have a piece of furniture “customized.”  if you really want to know what your style is, fully custom reupholster a sofa, a chair, some seat cushions or even a headboard.  if you need to start smaller, grab some fabric and have your local tailor whip you up some custom curtains (simple ones, just hems!) or pillow cases.  how does it feel to know that these are unique to you?


5. Every time you find yourself saying ” I wish I had what x,y,z person has,” force yourself to sit down and start saying or writing out a list of everything YOU have that you are not being grateful for! 

Its so much more fun to be yourself and strong in who you are than to always feel like you are falling short of what other people have! 


If you are a feng shui tip lover and want to get even juicer info, jump on teleseminars with me, and get an inside-line on all sorts of other fun stuff to help you design your dream life, join my special list right HERE.   And, if you are ready to take it to the next level  &  design your dream life with me, you can work with me one-on-one online or in-person to make the big moves!

Always, I love hearing from you! xoxo Dana



  1. Don’t Let Comparison Steal Your Joy | Words Of Wisdom | The Tao of Dana - […] the possibilities, rather than magnifying what you have not yet done.  If this seems hard to do, here’s a…

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