Do you adopt other people’s fear? I have recently grown weary of making excuses for people that lead with fear statements when you share news with them. I used to say, “They mean well.” Or, “there’s merit in what they are saying,” but neither is true. If you choose to hold onto your own fears, you can keep them to yourself. Fear is nothing but poison that can spin even the most settled mind into a state of confusion.
My friend recently shared her own perils of fear projecting into her life. Not too long ago someone “shared” her “expert” opinion on childcare with my friend, citing horrible statistics about babysitters. Now, if you were hiring random babysitters off of Craigslist with no references, this might be a warranted statement. But, if your babysitter is a dear friend who has demonstrated nothing but wonderful behavior, why would someone need to share this with you in a graphic and compelling manner? Suddenly, my friend was feeling spun out and constantly worried about her child, where she had no fear before. She lost sleep, she lost time, she got sick… all because of someone’s fear that “stuck” to her, unwittingly.
I have had countless experiences of other people’s fear and negativity washing great opportunities in blackness. I “broke up with” loads of friends over their fear flinging, as I realized that there was nothing well-meaning in that behavior. Like the woman who responded to the news that I met a great person with, “You don’t know, my friend thought she met a great person until he stole all her money and tried to abuse her.” Yeah, what’s the “well-meaning” in that? There is none.
It still creeps in, unwittingly, with the occasional barrage of unnecessary fear pouring toward me. I’ve wished it to go away. But… How do you manage that?
Its interesting. Its pretty simple. I have gotten a handful of useful “expert” opinions about fear that distill down to this:
1. You attract fear if you ALLOW it and feel fear inside. Its that “Law Of Attraction” stuff in a sense, but…moreover…its KARMA. I’ve found that the ability to stand up to other people’s lambasting negativity has helped me to overcome my own personal blocks and change my own karmic path.
2. Fear is a decision that the worst things can happen, and just might. While this “fight or flight” instinct is useful in true danger situations, when you load up your mind with prospective horrible outcomes on a regular basis, your body becomes fatigued by the use of so much adrenaline.
3. When you face your fears, other people are not excited all of the time. It may mean that they will have to face their own, or potentially lose you in their lives in your new found freedom. So, be ready to be criticized. If I had a dollar for every person who referred to me as full of “unicorns and rainbows” or being a “Pollyanna” , well, I could start an hedge fund with that cash!
4. People who project fear aren’t all diabolical…. but they are in a state they can either choose to leave or that you should avoid. You can have tons of compassion and love for people from a far distance!
All of this compounded advice made enough sense to actually help me become more causative over this life-sucking energy! You may have a method that works for you… so please don’t forget to use it!
Do you have fear people creeping up on you and poisoning your joy? You might want to check out THIS post on Energy Vampires, too.
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