A reader asked a greater feng shui question about feng shui and the bedroom following a relationship break-up:
“My ex-wife was a believer in feng shui. Me, not so much. But I am a believer in how a room’s color or arrangement can affect its occupant. Who can say our little studio’s layout didn’t have something to do with why we couldn’t connect here?
Now that she’s gone…for better or worse, I am re-decorating and re-organizing. I am thinking of buying a corner bed. It’s a studio.
Would a corner bed be so bad? I’m not wild about sleeping next to my window. And putting the bed in the middle of the room would give me full view of the exit door.”
My Answer:
Well, first of all, I don’t feel that anyone should be a believer in anything without experiencing it, so I welcome your question and hopefully I can shed a tiny bit of light on the reasons why I will not recommend a “corner bed.”
In my style and approach to feng shui, your home is like a map of your life. What does this mean? Essentially we demonstrate in the physical universe what is happening in our lives through our thoughts, words and actions that are mirrored in the state of our environment. When I look at a bedroom I look not only for feng shui “rules” and how they are applied, but I also look at the ways in which very specific individuals each utilize the space and how they identify with it.
I am not surprised to hear that after a break-up of this magnitude you are tempted to not just put your bed in a corner but to actually buy a bed with a built in corner: its a self-protective mechanism that essentially and somewhat dramatically states that you are not open to another person. Why? When we sleep we get in and out of our side of the bed. No one would feel comfortable sleeping while being “trapped” against the wall, needing to climb over their partner to get out. Also, “chi” or life force energy, can not flow properly when we are hemmed in a corner. So, there is a symbolic, a phycial and an energetic block involved in this bed-in-corner situation that will not really help you to heal from my viewpoint. Rather it can keep you stuck in the painful event and prevent the new from ever flowing in.
If you can’t resist the urge to have your bed in a corner, I suggest doing it very temporarily until you feel ready to be open again to relationships and a balanced life. In other words, I suggest you don’t put your bed in the corner (!) and certainly do not buy one of these corner beds!
Wishing you the best in life & love!
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If you want to open up your own flow of fabulous energy throughout your home and life in simple, powerful ways, Say hello to Feng Shui 101. Its the guide I made for you to create your own personalized feng shui at home, in the office, wherever you may be… in 8 weeks! It’s not filled with strict rules or what you “must” do. Its filled with information, questions, exercises and even videos and classes to help you confidently create amazing spaces with killer feng shui and live with more flow! Learn more about the 8-week feng shui adventure & grab your copy to get started right HERE!!! xoxo Dana
Hi Dana,
Your stuff online is awesome. Recently signed up and love exploring what you share.
We are a couple who desperately want to be together more often, but my husband currently has to travel away lots for work. We have a child who also really likes to sleep with us. With him gone so much, she sleeps with me pretty much whenever he is not home, which feels good because…I don’t like being alone at night and I feel safer when its just us girls here in the city at night, knowing that she is safe beside me. And yet, she falls out of bed if it is not against a wall. Also, I would have to literally get rid of our beloved rocking chair which is next to the bed, to move it out of the corner. Can you suggest?
I really want to sign on for a feng shui session with you, but cannot afford it at this time. Its on my wish list in a big way.
Warmly
Flora
New Orleans LA
Hi Flora! Welcome! I can hare this with you: when I was a little kid, I had this bar thing my mom would put on the sides of my bed so I wouldn’t fall out. I would not suggest putting the bed up against the wall. If you feel you MUST, move it back out when your husband is home! And also when you are not sleeping. Let me know if this works for you….! xoxo Dana
Dana,
I have been going crazy over this in my mind all night. I am moving that bed out of the corner. It is a huge king sized bed with heavy headboard. I am going to find a way to get the rocker into my child’s room, even if its tight in there. And I found these under sheet bumpers online! Don’t know why I never searched them before!
So we will just have a bumper along one side of the bed. Maybe we will manage to move it in and out, but…at least even if we have the bumper, that is less of an obstacle than the corner! Its amazing…we were all together on the floor when she was a baby. Then a very low futon frame….I wanted to live like the rest of the world, in a real bed. So then we got this fab bed, but kept it in corner so our daughter would be safe. And then…our finances crashed, I got sick (chronic constipation that has not responded to anything i have tried) and my husband had to take a job that keeps him away monday through thursday!!!!! And I am miserable in this lifestyle! I would rather live in a tent and be together but he emotionally needs the money up path! And also…baby number two has never yet made it into the picture!!!!
Oh my goodness, I can hardly wait for him to show back up and move the darn furniture with me!!!!! I am counting the minutes! If this changes our life for the better, I will write back!
We finally got a bed I adore and then…he got work that makes him rarely there!
And If the cash comes in….I am calling you for a real consult! If he can be home more and still make more cash….DANA HOW CAN I BE SURE THAT THIS WILL BRING HIM AND THE CASH HOME. AND NOT HIM JOBLESS?!!! Cash is huge stressor here, especially for husband.
Also, if you have any off the cuff tips for healing digestion, making it flow….please let me know or write an article! I am listening!!!
Gratefully,
Flora
Just want to say that I have just listened to your wellness video and I am so overdoing the wellness this week! So, I have calmed myself down. Still moving the bed. But…from a mellower state of mind. Thank you for making feng shui finally make sense! I have been sort of trying to feng shui FOREVER and…things are clicking into place.
Flora
Dear Dana,
You have a wonderful website with much helpful advice! Question: I live in an apartment in NYC so space is limited. Is it bad “flow” to have a bed angled out from a corner to; 1. avoid having the headboard below the window and 2. not have the foot of the bed in line with the closet? It certainly looks weird.
The perfect, spacious arrangement would be to have my headboard beneath a window and foot of the bed towards a closet. Would that be inharmonious?
Very best,
John
Thank you John! Angles are not a bad thing! This might help you: https://www.fengshuidana.com/core_20161207-181903/core_20161207-181903/2012/06/29/feng-shui-q-a-no-choice-but-to-put-my-bed-in-the-corner/
xoxo Dana
Thanks! I’ll give it a try.