What do you do when you just feel like you are making ZERO progress in some area of life?
That question comes up almost daily in my universe.
While, of course, you can do lots of feng shui in your home to create some new perspective in your home and life, even before you start painting walls and fluffing your throw pillows, here are three questions to ask yourself that can guide you in making decisions from a new perspective. I find these questions extremely useful to see if I am ready to make a real change in my life where I am stuck. If I am, indeed, ready to make a move, these are the questions that usually set me on the road to revolution!
Three killer questions to help you un-stick your life wherever it is stuck:
1. How did I create the current situation of being stuck?
If you can not take responsibility for the position you are in, you will have a very hard time getting out if it. I know, it is tempting to blame others. That woman at work was targeting you or your boyfriend was cheating and you had no idea, etc, etc. Cop to the fact that you did know what was happening and for whatever reason you decided to handle things the way that you did and that created the current “stuck”-ness.
When you blame others, you can’t really get a grip on the whole picture. Blame prevents change.
And yes, there are situations that are purely chance or accident that pop up that create havoc in our lives. How we respond to them determines if we will get stuck or not! We are still responsible.
Responsibility allows you to really learn from a situation. This is the stuff that prevents us from repeating the same things over and over again, never moving forward.
2. What am I willing to do to get unstuck?
If the answer to this question is not “anything moral and legal that can logically help me” you may not want to un-stick badly enough.
If you prefer to complain or tell people why the available options are not good enough to help you, you may not be ready to be unstuck.
The jobless woman who is also running out of money and falling into a financial hole turns down some simple part time work because it is “beneath” her might miss the opportunity to get unstuck. That friend you have who wants to use every friend as a therapist and refuses to go to an actual therapist may be holding themselves back from getting unstuck.
Of course, there are things that simple feel wrong to us… but the people who do succeed in getting unstuck tend to be willing to do just about anything to un-stick themselves. A part time job can usher in a full time job. A visit to a therapist might affirm that indeed you don’t want or need a therapist- but that action may motivate you to take the reins in your life more fully!
3. Do I need any support to get & stay unstuck?
Support groups, therapists, coaches and mentors are all very helpful to keep you from backsliding into the hole you are climbing out from. Even my dog, Bob, helps me! If you need some support, ask! Also, I suggest you take inventory of vampire people (more on this HERE) in your life so that you can keep your personal road clear of drama and challenges that are completely unnecessary.
Freedom and growth feels to good to allow yourself to stay stuck in a rut! Shake things up & stretch your life.
xoxo Dana
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xoxo!!!
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And, if you want to dive in to your own personalized feng shui in a modern, practical way, Say hello to Feng Shui 101. Its the guide I made for you to create your own personalized feng shui at home, in the office, wherever you may be… in 8 weeks. It’s not filled with strict rules or what you “must” do. Its filled with information, questions, exercises and even videos and classes to help you confidently create amazing spaces with killer feng shui and live with more flow. Learn more about the 8-week feng shui adventure & grab your copy to get started right HERE… And, as always, please let me know what happens! xoxo Dana
Oh YES. Perfect post, Dana.
The willingness to get “unstuck” is such a huge factor! It’s crazy how somebody can talk the talk, but when it comes time to walk the walk, they hold themselves back. I see it all the time, and I find myself making these excuses in my life, too. We could all use a little more awareness!
@Jennifer— its comfortable to hide, isn’t it? I still can fall back on my own bad habit of hiding. But it is soooo much less fun! Haha, I know about “talking the talk”…. Accountability is a big helper. Having someone you trust who wil support you to keep an eye on you when you shrink back is a good thing. That’s what this blog is for me- a massive accountability 🙂 If I don’t do what I say, well, then, noone should read it! Thank you for the comment!!!
Lovely post, Dana! I’ve been feeling a little lost & stuck after graduation as I feel my potential has somewhat stagnated & your three questions gave me lots to think about! Thanks for writing such a lovely blog always – your blog is on my daily reading list (if not for the feng shui tips, for the gorgeous photos & quotes!)
thank you sooo much Sarah! xoxoxo
I love tao of dana. it has helped me a lot and is also a joy to read.
however this post scares me.
we are stuck.
maybe even crashing soon as a result.
please g-d clear a path or show me how to do so.
and i feel that…pressure from my husband to “do what it takes” and do the grunt work, take the part time job or whatever to keep us from crashing. and i feel that i have a problem actually of doing this. of being…too willing to do whatever it takes. i feel that this is actually what is getting us stuck. and that the healing would happen if we could get behind me doing something with more energy and more horsepower, something that would actually have enough juice to actually make things better.
rather than me doing this and that and using all my energy this way, instead of towards hiring a real hauling machine from inside myself to do a real fix.
so my problem is too much willingness to do whatever it takes and not enough…support inner and outer…for actually doing what is best.
i think this is an important topic and hope you will right more, if you are motivated at all to do so. we need help and i know others do to. thank you for all that you do!
you are already helping. your voice is…vital and truly a step above a lot of what else is out there.
Please don’t do anything that goes against your core beliefs Flora. Have faith and hang in there. I’ve been there in the recent past, took the extra job and felt like a superhero for making the tough choice. Remember a part-time job can lead to more opportunities. Xoxo
I agree so much Jeanne in her comment below- don’t violate your own beliefs. It sounds like you actually DO know what to do….use the next “whatever it takes” job to build toward the substantial, juicy job or opportunity or larger goals.
You know, I know manys an actor in Los Angeles discovered (and working, some quite famous) who had no intention of even acting, but they were doing “grunt work” side jobs trying to figure out their lives with the best spirits they had. Their attitude somehow exuded star power.
I’m not advocating that you become complacent… but its true… opportunity often finds you while you are working.
Maybe rest more and try to enjoy simple things- nature, a good meal, lots of sleep when you can, great baths…. its those things I used to think are trivial that really revive me and keep me going.
We all get stuck… but we can all get un-stuck, too!
Please keep me posted!!! You will be in my thoughts!!! xoxo Dana