Every single day we have a shot at a fresh start. In fact, we get that chance literally every moment of every day. But New Year’s, Birthdays, Anniversaries… all come with a significant idea attached that it is time to make new decisions. Set resolutions. Put goals on paper.
Not a bad thing to do, right?
Not if you approach it in a way that works for you!
GOAL SETTING FOR THE HELL OF IT IS OVER-RATED
Goals are good. I mean, we all need direction. But in our culture, “goals” are often synonymous with ” I must have” and that is where intention flies out the door and we start living like robots.
In a very interesting Psychology Today article, Why goal setting doesn’t work, the following statement hit home:
“Max Bazerman, a Harvard Business School professor and co-author of Goals Gone Wild, argues that rather than relying on goals, we should create workplaces and schools that foster interest in and a passion for work.
All of that goal/ resolution stuff can be abstract and often based on a lot of “this is where I should be in life” thinking rather than “this is what feels right for me” brainstorming. And it is that “feels right” brainstorming that has the ability to transform your whole life, rather that moving you toward an abstract achievement. ( If this resonates with you, HERE is more on why your goals may be ruining your life!)
THINK ABOUT YOUR WHOLE LIFE, NOT JUST A PIECE OF IT
You are not your job, your relationship, your kids, your friends, your sex life or your intellect. You are all of these things and so much more, all working together. If you want to “laser focus” (that combination of words makes me often cringe) your life on one outcome very rigidly, what then will happen to all the other pieces of the life pie?
Could it be that developing your whole life is more likely to move you toward excellence in these areas you are wanting to narrowly focus?
Many innovative business leaders argue for “work/life integration” rather than “work/ life balance.” You can read about it HERE but essentially its the idea that things should mesh together rather than compete with one another. It’s a nice concept, but it only works if your work is something you are super-passionate about. Otherwise, why would you want to integrate it into the rest of your life!?!
What I love: I happened upon a very fun exercise that I use often when making switches in life. It’s a great New Year/Birthday/ Anniversary/ Fresh Start exercise. It’s all about moving toward what feels right. I published it last year, but HERE it is for you today!
DON’T GET TOO ATTACHED TO ONE OUTCOME
“Even a mistake may turn out to be the one thing necessary to a worthwhile achievement.” ~ Henry Ford
What an absolutely important thing to realize!
You might not be seeing all the possibility from where you sit. There could be jobs you didn’t know existed, neighborhoods you’d never think to live, people who revolutionize your concept of love and of life… so why get too fixed on one specific thing? I am a huge advocate of setting the kind of goals that leave room for magic to happen. Example: “I create opportunities in “P” part of my life that allow me to do “X, Y & Z” that are so important to me.” rather than ” I am making 57% more money in 2014.” or ” I get X promotion by X date.” (I mean, what if a much better company wants to recruit you?! Why be limited? )
Also, no machine has been created yet to control life (and I doubt that will ever happen) so it’s not worth wasting energy in the trying.
I’m sure this may seem “lightweight” for those of you who are goal-getters, but being in love with your life is a heavyweight thing! There is value in discipline, but I see absolutely no value in sacrificing time in your life for things you “think you should have” that don’t make you feel alive.
If you stay in love with what you are doing every day, all that love is likely to pour back at you! And I bet you’ll do more and bigger and better from a place of purpose! And if you are not 100% loving what you are doing, here’s a video I am re-sharing everywhere, my favorite story of how to do anything better:
Plan out your awesome ideas if you’d like…. but do it with passion!
xoxo Dana
********************
And, if you want to dive in to your own personalized feng shui in a modern, practical way, say hello to Feng Shui 101. Its the guide I made for you to create your own personalized feng shui at home, in the office, wherever you may be… in 8 weeks. It’s not filled with strict rules or what you “must” do. Its filled with information, questions, exercises and even videos and classes to help you confidently create amazing spaces with killer feng shui and live with more flow.
Learn more about the 8-week feng shui adventure & grab your copy to get started right HERE… And, as always, please let me know what happens!
Awesome article and story, Dana! Thanks for inspiring me today!
🙂
xx
omg you are so welcome!!! happy holidays!!! xoxo
Thank you, Dana….I find that the wisdom you bring is very easy to hear and believe and it sits with what I already know but did not yet trust…..This year is a turning point in my life. I have stopped seeking the way forward in other people’s approval or opinion last year…This year, I am beginning to tune in to what I believe and perceive for myself and what I value and so what I will turn up for and really live….At the moment, I am being alone with a whole bundle of cramped painful emotions…and I am not sure what to do with them, but I am not allowing them to be crowded out or minimized because they are like something crumpled up with parts of me caught up and no one else knows about them, so only I can make room for them, so I will be their friend and take them out into life with me and give them room….and make a life that has room for them…It’s working so far….scary taking responsibility for my decisions and their consequences…but more authentic….feels weak, but I know it’s important…Glad you are there….a hub for us, a catalyst….