Are you one of the people- raised as I was- to only receive love in exchange for achievement?  You know, excellent grades meant love.  An award got you attention.  An impossibly-painstaking diet to reach an “ideal” weight in your mind- or the mind of people you wanted love from- meant you were finally lovable.  A professional coup meant you got praise.

Otherwise, you were ignored. Or criticized. Or compared to other people.

Anyone who requires that you achieve anything in order to have their love does not love themselves.

You can’t let their “requirements” – and the poison that they breed- define your life.

I have seen this type of dynamic slowly kill people.  It breeds disease. It tears lives apart.

If you are trying to be perfect so that you can be loved by someone, I strongly suggest you spend your time loving other people and living beings who are capable of love.   Adopt a dog or a cat. Grow a garden. Volunteer with kids. Spend time with happy people who actually like you for who you are.  You can be loved right now.

If you are “working” to get someone’s love, you might want to read THIS post about the emotionally unavailable and do a little “de-cluttering” of your social life.

Also, you can show compassion to the people who only love you when you are perfect enough for them. They need love, too.

Perfectly imperfect, that’s the best way.

We have too much to create in life to get stuck trying to fulfill someone’s fantasy of perfection at the expense of our sanity, dignity, health & happiness!  xoxo Dana