Sometimes getting stuck is part of the process of growing. I see it all the time.
You decide you want to start working out and three weeks in you sprain an ankle. You want to start dating and find yourself someone who was not ready who breaks your heart and threatens to throw you back into your seclusion. You start making art that you think is great and you are met with brutal criticism, not at all the effect you wanted to create.
While there are thousands of reasons why all this stuff happens, I know for sure only one part of the equation… the part that can help ride out the bumps in the road on the way to whatever growing you are in the midst of doing.
A few days ago I saw a friend in my neighborhood. He got stuck in the midst of the most successful time in his life. A health crisis popped up just as he was riding on a high, and he had to call it quits for a while.
Of course, I had a book for him to read!
So, he came over and we talked while I rooted through my shelves full of books (I have an Amazon addiction!) to find the book that I thought would be a great catalyst. What he shared with me, however, was the greater lot of wisdom.
I am not going to include any of the details of our talk. Suffice it to say, this applies to anyone who is finding that they are crashing and burning on the way to reaching a new place in life.
“You have to grow inside to sustain the growth outside.”
WOW.
I have not heard such a profound concept stated so simply.
If you are not growing inside- taking care of yourself on an emotional, even spiritual level, as well as physically and mentally- the outside achievements become like a giant house of cards to many people.
Have you ever seen someone win a ton of money that way broke? Typically, the first reaction is excitement. The next: what do I do to keep from losing this money? And that’s when the panic sets in. The inside growth doesn’t match the outside growth. I imagine if Lotto winners went through some sort of program to teach them how to boost their confidence take care of their mind, body and soul, and even a lesson in philanthropy as well as money management, maybe the Lotto Curse (where people wind up bankrupt or much worse after hitting the big jackpots) wouldn’t exist.
Lots of people think of their inner life (imagination, creativity, restfulness, focus, balance, nutrition) as somewhat separate from the outside world of what we see being built around us. But they aren’t.
You can will the outside world to change. You can work yourself to exhaustion, you can skimp on sleep to party, you can even get plastic surgery in lieu of exercise or start a fad diet to make outward changes seem very much more real.
But then you throw the balance. It is hard to sustain those changes if they aren’t build on a solid foundation.
If you are pushing yourself in a way that neglects your inside to pursue the outside rewards, you may be building your own house of cards. If you are sacrificing whole areas of your life (friends, spirit, rest, etc) to make other areas of your life advance (work, beauty, etc) you may hit a wall. The stuckness sets in.
What if you allowed yourself time to grow inside while you were growing your life outside?
There are infinite ways to grow inside, and for everyone the way will be different. Meditation, exercise, time in nature, more sleep, therapy, more education, stretching, creativity coaching, a nutritionist, holistic healing… Any time of inner fortitude you need can be had, and most does not need to cost you a penny. It all does cost time. And time is much more valuable.
Take the time to grow inside and when you hit bumps in the road to your dreams, you are likely to bounce with them, rather than have them stop you in your tracks.
Oh, yes, and I’m betting that you will enjoy the whole process of making the stuff of life so much more, too!
xoxo Dana
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