There is this common idea floating in the ether that it is not virtuous to want objects and appreciate luxury. These earthy desires are deemed less valuable that the noble martyrdom of a few who have cast off all possessions in pursuit of a higher life condition.
This is not realistic.
It also skirts the actual issue. “Material Objects” don’t make things bad or wrong in life. It’s our attachment, even an obsession, with having and keeping them that makes things go awry.
Attachment sucks.
The stress caused by needing to hold onto things in a very intense way is poison in itself.
Too often I see people pouring their entire lives, borrowed money and their best judgement into a very dark hole of want. Stubbornly insisting that their way- their business idea- their investment- their entitlement- is the absolute right way, even though it sucks- they pitch their joy into a vast abyss of “I must have this.”
Attachment can drive you to destructive lengths. Attached to winning- and to a complex series of emotions behind that winning- gamblers raise their bets higher and higher as they lose more and more.
If you ever watch ABC’s The Shark Tank (where inventors and business owners come to find investments for their businesses from a panel of moguls) , there are countless numbers of entrepreneurs who get so attached to a business concept that does not work, or so obsessed with the plan that they have, that they start dumping life savings into it, then start looking for more money on the show to continue to finance a thing that doesn’t work. It does not go well for these people!
There’s a vast difference between investing money into a company that is starting and needs capital to grow and investing in something that is just not working. You feel the difference. When you watch this TV show, you see the difference in these people with sound business concepts. They smile more. They are willing to make adjustments. They are pursuing their dreams while grounded in life. Even if they are taking a risk, they feel good about it. Those that are holding onto things too tightly that do not work are glowing with fear: you can feel the desperation and anxiety in the air. They cannot even explain why they have fallen so far into a hole of debt.
Attachment is a great way to get stuck. I see the same thing happen in people’s homes. I ask, ” You have no room in your home for clothes. Would you be willing to get rid of the clothes you don’t need, that don’t fit you, that you haven’t touched in years?” and I am met with a ” I need them. I might need them. I can’t just give them away.”
People in this head space are typically also unwilling to let go of other things- negative ideas, obstructions in their space, habits that are hurting them- because they are very attached to the way things are even though they know it is not working.
Are you holding on really tightly to things that just don’t work?
I have done this with relationships, jobs, diets, healing regimes, homes and even my concept for this very business and blog in its beginnings! Letting go of my own attachments has been the best lesson ever, on every level.
Letting go of what is not working will help you to see your way to ways that do work.
If you are holding onto things that are stressing you out, trying not to lose your grip, you may want to cultivate more flexibility. Flexibility in feng shui is represented by the wood element, the element that promotes change, socializing, bending and stretching, fresh perspectives and ideas.
Try to finish a crossword puzzle.
Take a trip. Fresh environments can help shake up your perspective.
Eat more greens and veggies and fresh organic fruit. This wood energy helps you stay flexible inside and out.
Add more green to your home. No need to overdo this, but some fresh green colors where you spend lots of your lime will stimulate more wood energy in your life.
Also… you may want to start making new decisions. Seek professional guidance where you need it. Lots of our attachments have deep emotional patterns beneath them. As you change the outside environment, commit to changing the inside as well.
Not too long ago I made this little video about feng shui for control freaks. It might just help you spark fresh idea if you are struggling to let go of things!
Dare yourself to let go of things that make you feel small, trusting that you can be both happy and successful. It may take a while to adjust to happiness— seriously!— but it is well worth it! xoxo Dana
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