If I could turn back a clock I wish I celebrated my gorgeous mother more for her triumphs and all of the time- over a massive phobia that kept her for years in her house as a young adult, for her abilty to raise my sister and I on her own after learning my dad had two other families simultaneously and gambled away their small fortune before landing in jail, for the way she constantly had a smile on and was ready to give you the last dime in her pocket- no matter who you are- if you needed it.

For all the ways I would say I never want to be like her when I was a kid, now I want to be more like her in so many ways.

We all have mothers, people like mothers, and some of us get to be mothers.

Giving life is one thing. Cultivating life- and the best in others- is the miraculous and selfless part about great mothers.

I wrote this in in friend’s kitchen in Secaucus, New Jersey seven years ago, a day after my mother died.

When you know you’ll never see a person again in human form in this lifetime you get an acute sense of all that they brought to your life- or at least I did.

For all the contention we had in many ways, and for all the connection we had in others, there will be no one like my mother ever again for me… but that doesn’t mean that any of that is lost.

A Tribute To My Superstar Mom on Mothers Day: This is the greatest picture of my two dearest loves: my mom and my sister. Astonishing. My mom has taught me massive lessons that I will carry with me forever.

Many people fear becoming their mom, I hope I can become half of the intense light of life that she was. She happened to pass away a day ago. And while I will never “get over” her, (why would I ever want to?!), I am being guided by her massive example in a profound and surreal way. She is my idol in many ways.

Every day I pray that she has an easier life next time around and I’m certain now that she does have that ease wherever she is.   Even though it wasn’t easy for her, she never stopped smiling.

Here is my mother, Maggie, and her infinite wisdom:

1. Don’t hang out with assholes, users or abusers.

2. Do for you. No one else can do for you.

3. Keep going and never stop moving. Life is always full of fun.

4. Love more than you think it’s even possible.

5. Forgive others even if it’s impossible to, and when you just can’t forgive, deal with it so you don’t waste time on bullshit people.

6. Family is the most important thing in the world.

7. Be proud of who you are NOW; you will always be who you are so appreciate how far you have come.

8. Life is not about money. Life is about joy.

9. Give and give and give and give. Love and love and love and love.

10. Always wash the dishes (even when it sucks to do it).

11. Things are only a struggle if you want them to be.

12. Dive into your work and do it with pride.

13. Wear makeup if you want to get married 🙂

14. Baby steps are the best and only way to get anywhere real. If you get to take a leap that’s great, but give things time and celebrate every step of the way.

15. Think good thoughts.

16. Health is the most important thing.

17. It feels amazing to tell people off when they deserve it!!!!

18. Noone can crush your spirit.

19. Take deep breaths.

20. Be the party. Life is that party!

I love you Mommy and I am celebrating with you every day. Everything I do is because of you.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you!  I’m sure you have a whole lot to celebrate! xoxo Dana

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xoxo!!!