How do you treat love in your life?
Its a big question.
It can get very psychoanalytical or it can be very simple.
I love this bit of Brene Brown because it makes it most clear that we don’t connect to others through a series of surface transactions depicted in romanic comedies and advice columns. We don’t give and take affection… not when it is real. It’s not a game, a checklist or any other kind of power play.
We create it. For ourselves and with other people. It just is. And it continues to be because we continue to create it.
If you can distance yourself from the hype of too many “love experts” (by the way: many who are divorced, single and even some in very unhealthy relationships, check out who you are listening to!) and the fears and projections of people around you, you may be able to see this far more easily outside of the noise.
The worst advice in love I’ve been given has been from very famous experts. Two of them. One told me to hunt for men (seriously?) wearing super scandalous clothes and pounds of makeup at…wait for it… airports!!! (I declined) and another was sure that I had to give up my career to find a man that would love me. (Seriously?!)
And, here we are.
And I’m so glad I never listened!
Have you been walking around with weird “expert” ideas about love? A sort of cynicism? Skepticism? Do these ideas really fit with what you believe to actually be true about life and love, or do they make you feel strange?
I’m all about simple.
If you are doing un-natural things, things that actually make you feel bad or fake or somehow less than yourself, all in the name of “getting” love, this might help you.
And, whether you feel loved by a beloved or are in romantic love or not at the moment, there’s never a shortage of necessity to treat yourself brilliantly.
I’m not a “love expert” but any means, but I do super-love my life and the world and so much and so many. Now I love far more freely than back in the days when I was searching for “love” advice outside of myself.
What would happen if you accept what’s intrinsic and awesome about everyone you feel drawn toward for who they are, as they are, right now?
It’s worth a try. Love is magical.
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Having someone love you is an incredible feeling. It’s intense and undescribable all at the same time. Your comment about the “love experts” is so true! I’m not sure (okay, I am) that their lovestyle works for me. If I want the real deal, I need to be the real me. I assume having lots of happy clients makes you a success. However, without authenticity, it isn’t really love. It’s role playing, I guess.
True love and soulmates aren’t for the faint of heart. It’s reserved for those who want the real deal.
Preach! Thats so very true, all that you say 🙂 xoxoxo
I really enjoy your blog, Dana, and when I saw this quote from Brene Brown, I thought of the “vulnerability” ted talk she gave months ago. I resonate with this quote so much because when it comes to real love, one must be vulnerable and surrender to it in order to live it and experience it. Like Jeanne stated in the first comment, true love is not for the faint of heart. Love is courageous, honest, pure and unconditional. Love is true. It takes courage to love whole-heartedly.