(inspirational collages— the best!) 

Every time you swallow your words when you know you have to say them, its like swallowing poison.

I’ve noticed we live in an over-sharing society- and I’m sure you have, too.  You can share photos of every moment of your life with a world of friends or total strangers.  You can share details of your past or your intellectualized plans for the future.

But… when it comes to sharing YOU with your real life, where do you stand?

What do I mean?

How much are you willing to speak up and risk saying the scary things you know you have to say in the service of building a life you are proud of, a life where you have joy and peace and fulfillment?

Lately, I have been called upon my life to speak up. In the past, I swallowed words.

I would say things like, ” I just don’t care.” Or, “he/she is a monster and won’t listen.” Or, ” I’m not ready…” And, as a consequence, I let parts of life slip through my fingers.

The less I would speak up when I knew I had to- in relationships, jobs, friendships, advocating for my health, you name it- the more bitter and closed and anxiety-ridden I became. My life was a fantasy in a sense, because, instead of speaking up, I could intuitively imagine all sorts of scenarios that could result if I opened my mouth to say how I felt or what I needed.  And in that fantasy, I thought other people should be able to see that I was silent and struggling, and they should- if they were good people- pull the words out of me.

That’s not a good strategy. Trust me, its a very precarious way to walk through life as a victim.

You might hear NO when you want a YES. You might be rejected, ridiculed or even vastly disrespected. You might make people angry.  But if you are speaking not just to be heard or to blame other people for your own life, if you have things to say because they are your truth and you can stand in that truth, you move from victim to creator. You shift from powerless to empowered and the confusion disappears.

If you have something you really need to tell someone, something you have to say, I am rooting for you to do it.  No matter what happens, you will be free. And truly, that’s the best outcome, anyway. xoxo Dana