As a kid I was highly unusual. Actually, by nature all kids are unusual. Everyone is born who they are. Then it changes.
Do you ever feel like you are fighting to be who you are… or struggling to be yourself in a world full of rules and expectations?
I am a big advocate of returning to the place where you can be yourself. What a big concept. And its only natural.
After all, why should it be hard to be who you actually are?
It gets highly complicated.
When I am working with clients who have given their lives over to who they believe they should be, their homes tend to look amazing. There is decor abundance. There is near-perfect choreography of every accesory. Pillows as they should be. Its almost like walking into a magazine. Except one piece is missing: it feels empty.
Emptiness happens when you lose connection to your life and your space. Some of you might be shrugging your shoulders right now thinking, “I really don’t want to connect to my life right now. I am bored/miserable/tired/annoyed/unsatisfied/ etc. by my life right now.”
Some of you may have dreams and images in your mind of how life should look and the picture you walk through every day doesn’t match up.
In all of these disconnected situations I find myself asking the same set of questions to get to the “other stuff” out of the way and find a route into a greater sense of Tao (that deep connection!) to space and all of life.
There’s no one easy way to find your way back to a free mind and the freedom to be who you are . The only requirement seems to be a willingness to look at things you may not want to see right away, and suspending belief enough to know that you can make anything happen in your life that you want. Both of these will happen for you if you are open to the possibility! Now… I wonder…
What do you remember loving to do as a child?
I was a strange kid who played detective, encompassing all of my little New Jersey town in the hunt to solve a mystery. I created talent shows for the neighborhood, not bothering to care that I was more talented at creating the experience than I was at singing or dancing. I wrote very weird, almost Beat poet stories that turned out to foreshadow my life. I watched PBS and painted oils in my living room and grew plants and talked to them. I devoured cookbooks and stages elaborate meals. I redecorated my room every few weeks, moving furniture as a way to change my perspective. I didn’t have a lot of parental regulation, so I had no one to tell me “No.” This was a big blessing in many ways.
For a lot of my life as an “adult” I couldn’t find a way to take these talents and turn them into anything that looked like me. Instead, I swallowed my instincts and became more “like” other people. I had little drive. I had no artistic edge that pushed me to a place of excitement.
Almost unconsciously I created all that I do now, pretty much the aggregate of all my childhood passions.
You can bring what you loved to do as a child to your life, consciously. Ask yourself the question and really listen for the answer. Go through old photos. Talk to your family or old friends. Somewhere along the line you may have abandoned what you love for practical reasons. They aren’t practical. There is a way to put your passion into your life, even as a hobby for now. I know you can find a way if you sit with the question and let it guide you.
What dreams have you given up on because other people didn’t like them?
This is a biggie. My father thought my writing was “that of a crazy person.” That’s not encouraging. I would love to say I was strong enough to think beyond it, but I stopped cold after writing my first novel at 22 and let it die just as it was gaining traction in a world full of art that I was proud to have created. Suddenly, the world I created was that of “a crazy person.” And soon, I was seeking solace with other creatively stuck people who were disconnected. The wild world of art was not for me. Art meant I was crazy. My new friends tended to agree.
It is really hard to force yourself into a new mold, especially one that is inauthentic. But, with even one great critic, it becomes a necessity to force yourself to make these changes. After all, what’s the point of being successful living your dreams if the people you love will abandon you?!
You’ll find new people who love you for who you are.
Take a look at where you dropped out of a class, took off from your sabbatical to hide in a job you didnt want, quit your playwriting or otherwise stuffed your dreams in a closet because you were made wrong for having them.
Compassion in feng shui my way directly feeds your prosperity and empowerment. Forgive those people and be compassionate. They are stuck, fearful or otherwise unable to accept something new. There are many like-minded creators who will accept you for who you are. Seek them out. Immerse yourself in even a bit of entertainment for now that lights you up.
Revisit that stuffed-away dream and see how it feels now. Let it be your secret until you know that you have true support.
The more you can be yourself, the more you can ground yourself in a life that looks and feels dramatically fulfilling. You’ll have better instincts and a brighter outlook. You may even be healther, weathier and wiser. Chances are, all three are true.
If you want to learn how to transform the place you live into the home you love in full, grab yourself a copy of Feng Shui 101. Its the unique guide I made for you to create your own personalized feng shui at home, in the office, wherever you may be… in 8 weeks! It’s not filled with strict rules or what you “must” do. Its filled with information, questions, exercises and even videos and classes to help you confidently create amazing spaces with killer feng shui and live with more flow! Learn more about the 8-week feng shui adventure & grab your copy to get started right HERE!!! xoxo Dana