Sneaking around in bathrooms to take this photo was a bit of a stealth risk in the name of playing with color.  This is about as risky as my life gets in Hollywood these days!

But, when I first arived here almost 15 years ago I was filled with cinematic adventure… and determined to never “need” to have a day job again.  You see, I’ve always been a writer but I wasn’t always a writer who writes.

I was a writer that talks about writing.

Are you one of those?

Or an actor who can recount the best moments on stage or on film but doesn’t study or practice…. Or a painter with paintings from decades ago and no paint anywhere nearby to be found…

Super-creatively-blocked.

Of course, the brilliance of this situation is that we all tend to think that the elimination of a problem will set us free.

Can you finish this sentence:  “As soon as I have…………, then I can pursue my dreams of …………..” 

I shared this story today on my personal note that I send to all of you each week  (you can join up HERE if you aren’t already) and rarely do I ever re-share things here, but this story feels worthy of sharing…! 

 

Fall is the time of year when I’m reminded of one unbelievable (but true) event in my life that happened over a decade and a half ago when I first moved to Los Angeles.

I was cocktail waitressing at a very chic bar that involved late nights wearing a sarong and a tiny white t-shirt, even in the freezing cold. My version of this outfit included glasses and a cardigan, so I was sort of out of character and wasn’t hauling in the massive tips… but I was doing it my own way while writing and hiking and doing yoga during the day. It was a cool time of “hustling.” It felt very Hollywood, but healthy.

All I daydreamed about was the perfect time… a time when I had all the time in my day to write complete novels and really write with passion.

A man arrived who was handing out tips of many hundreds of dollars to all the girls except me. This happened often when big tippers came to town. I didn’t take it personally.

One night we actually talked a bit. He left me no tip. I wasn’t even expecting one.

Then he came back, with a tip. Of a check. A very interesting personal check. And with it he asked me to quit my job and be an artist full time.

He had a group of women in his life that he called his “Creators”. There was nothing shady going on, no strings attached, it was literally just a sort of grant to go out and live your dreams.

My friend got one the next day from this same man.

We found ourselves living in the hotel where we used to work. Quickly, all my daily hikes and yoga and writing lapsed into late nights and sleeping until the afternoon. Taking impromptu trips. I missed appointments. I started feeling very entitled.

We did some good things. We had stacks of hundred dollars bills to walk down the streets and distribute to homeless people who were cold. We carried room service trays from our hotel to hungry families on Sunset Boulevard. We tried to help people.

But we couldn’t help ourselves.

I rapidly became a giant mess. Not eating, not sleeping, not feeling motivated, not even recognizing my own thoughts. This fairy tale became a very big nightmare.

There’s so much detail to this twisty story, but it suffices to say that all the things I dreamed of doing when the perfect time arrived (lots of money + totally free time) went 100% out the door the moment that magically perfect time bizarrely arrived.

When the weird spell of bad/good fortune wore off, I gave away the rest of the money and got a job cocktail waitressing again.

My take-away from a few months of madness:

If you are creatively blocked, no “external” or “perfect” circumstances will fix it.

In fact, I found bigger, bolder ways to block myself from my own creativity when I had a total dream scenario handed to me!

Chances are if you are feeling lackluster right now about your job, your creative life, relationships or just feeling general blah about life, you – and only you- can change that.

We are all Creators.

We all have inherent genius and tons to contribute in our own ways.

We all have ways to creatively block ourselves.

There are just as many ways to be creatively free.

If you want to wake up your creative genius and really dig in to your gifts and talents and the fun and art of life, it often starts by quitting the habits that make you feel and think small.

HERE are the 10 biggest ways that we create our own creative blocks that I see every day in my life. 

They don’t need to be your blocks.

The perfect time to make things is always now.

xoxo Dana

 

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