Every deep dark bad thing that happened to me that I internalized as pain and shame managed to hold me back for years.
Are you in the same boat?
I was always envious of people who could just say and do what they felt. People who were actualized. People who lived in a very real way. But.. if I did that, I felt I would be shunned.
All these traumas and things I didn’t want to share because I thought they’d make me too different or judged instead became a way that I alienated and judged myself. And as life unfolded around me – even as a child- there was so much I couldn’t share with people because it would damn me- so much that made me feel trapped- that it became a bigger problem.
I had no idea my problems would be my opportunities!!!
My dad was in jail when I was a little kid. My mom wasn’t well a lot of the time. My life was full of criminals surrounding my very typical-looking suburban family in New Jersey from when I was a small child. I was drunk for the first time at 5 years old, because my dad’s friend thought it would be funny. I shot a gun when I was five, too, in my backyard. Five was a great big year for me!
While my childhood story, just flashing tiny bits of it, made me feel very separate from others, now it is the thing that brings me close to people.
Chances are, your long-standing problems can also be your opportunities.
It took me years before I realized that my problems were my opportunities.
Now, all that crazy upbringing of mine helps me to connect deeply to clients and friends. All that chaos has given me a huge passion for creating harmony and order. All the crazy people around me as a kid made me hyper-aware of weeding the bad seeds out of my life as an adult. My whole business is built on my passion for helping people expand and write a new chapter of their story.
My whole mission in life has become one of wanting to bring more peace and light everywhere. I couldn’t do that without a whole lot of darkness.
Don’t be afraid of your problems. Embrace them as much as you can. Let the shame go. Speak up.
Each great big and very small problem is a chance for you to find greater freedom. I’m not saying this lightly. If you can really own the ways that you’ve sort of been broken, you can flip your life around in astonishing turns.
It isn’t always easy… but it’s real.
Infinite possibility is waiting for you on the other side of any obstacle, even if it feels enormous right now.
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