(Doug Aitken’s YOU)

I say this non-stop, “Your home is a mirror of your life.”  I am also big on the reminder that “the people in your life are a mirror of you.”

This has never failed to be true.  The only time it’s failed me is when I’ve refused to believe it is true.

There was no way I was a heartless, dismissive, rude, angry, stingy, emotionally cut-off, game-playing…

But…alas… I was.

I’ve found that the more you can look clearly into the mirror, the better it will serve you. Even if it shows you lots of flaws.

Today, I wonder… What is the mirror of your life showing you?

You use that reflection- if you see it clearly-  to make the changes that will matter. 

There’s an amazing-amazing-amazing article in Goop right now called Getting Smart About Love.  Suzannah Galland talks about our awareness of life in the context of love, but it applies to all things that we need to be willing to see clearly:

“We spend so much time thinking and analyzing, that we dictate what our future should be. That is to say, we orchestrate events to suit our desires and propel ourselves into a state of action and reaction. Unfortunately, this method isn’t likely to work out because our perceptions become distorted, which leads us to see a false reality. We can’t differentiate between the authentic and the false. We create a risk because we know—at some level we’re losing control—that something’s off.”

You can read the whole article HERE.  It’s incredible.  She talks in depth about our blind spots in life, what we are, essentially, unwilling to see in the mirror of life.

When you can see things clearly, you have power.

I often tell my clients who- after seeing the mirror of their home clearly realize how they’ve been unwilling to see what is in front of them- that once they see it, its already in the process of changing.  I know this only through experience, lots of it, that when you see something you can’t un-see it.  You can deny it, but its pretty hard to stick yourself in denial once its all become clear!

Now, if the people around you are a mirror…and you don’t like what you see,  you realize, you can’t change them, right?  You can’t jump through hoops, do dances, create drama, pitch fits or do anything else to change anyone else.

Only you can change you. And decide from there how to change the mirror you get back to you from the people in your life.

Sometimes, positive change chases away people with less-than-noble intentions and inspires others to step up and do their own changing.

But you can’t bank on it, you know.  You can only be the best you that you can be.

That said, if your home is also a mirror of your life… and you don’t like what you see… you can change it!

And… If the circumstances of your life are a mirror and you don’t like what you see… you can change that, too!

One word that may help you in your want to polish the mirror of life:

COMPASSION.

It’s a card from a deck of Angel cards that my dear friend Parker sent me the other day.  Self-compassion, compassion for others, compassion for life…

When I got that message I thought… Hm… Where could I stand to have more compassion?

Then I took a nap, took a day off to go to the beach, took time to see friends… and watched the magic dust blanket life again.

Polishing the mirror of life – in other words, creating the life you want starting from where you are right now- should not be hell on earth.  It shouldn’t be a nightmare struggle to make things go right.

Compassion means you don’t flip out when others aren’t who you wish they were.  It means you care enough about your wellbeing to put yourself first.  It means you aren’t living in regret or bemoaning your lack of perfection, you know?

If you think you should have regrets, I am raising my hand, too.  I dumped the only soulmate I ever met, I turned down three of the more coveted jobs in the world at 23, I spent a decade starving myself unwittingly…and the list could be a mile long of the things that I did that I should regret…

And I used to live in that regret.

Until I saw how it affected the mirror of my life.

My walls were blank. My home was impersonal, because, well, I was living in the past, you know?  My drawers were full of old photos from happier days.  When you’d talk to me I would use words like, “Oh, when I was with my ex… ” and I would talk about all that I “used to love doing.”  The people around me were not happy or stable and felt incomplete and I knew that meant that I was likely not happy, stable or complete within myself.

Surprisingly, it was easier to confront each regret, each bit of being stuck, when I realized that it wasn’t bad.  When I could see there were “right things” waiting for me if I could be ready for them, I started changing that mirror of life… and each step of the way was exciting.  Extremely exciting.

If you are looking to change the mirror of your own life, you can start simple.  With compassion. And with lots of optimism.  I promise you that you can do anything you set your mind to do as long as you avoid blame, shame and regret stuff and stay in the space of possibility and love and peace.

Incredible things will happen.

xoxo Dana

If you want to (in a simple way!) start the feng shui of changing the mirror of your life, Your Guide To DIY Feng Shui is here!!!, and you can start today!

Get started on your own de-cluttered, feng shui’d home and life now… and watch the magic dust start blanketing your life!!!