It can feel impossibly frustrating when you’re up against what you truly can’t change.
I now experience this as a physical headache that goes away the minute I see what I’m doing. It’s a sign I’m forcing instead of flowing with life.
If you’re struggling with letting things go- from a job to a friend to a living situation to a love- there are many ways you’ll see that it’s time to let it go… but with all emotional attachments, we all need some reassurance and confirmation that we’re doing the right thing. In The Catalyst Camp home & life de-cluttering immersion, members start to realize after some time in the process of letting things go that it’s ok to let things go simply because it’s ok.
What feels wrong is wrong.
There’s grace and beauty and power in realizing that the things that are completely unmanageable actually can’t be fixed by forcing them, magically thinking about them, or by letting them sit and grow into bigger messes.
All the while you wait, you lose time and life force.
You don’t gain by holding onto what isn’t meant for you.
Here are some outward signs that it could be time to finally let go of whatever’s hung around way past its welcome.
Six pounds of sea salt in my kitchen ready to get distributed once my house is totally polished today. The windows are open. A fan is being turned on and moved around to break up the air. Periodically, I do very big levels of decluttering so I have more space in my life to do all of this sharing and learning and creating with you.
If I’m in a mess, I can’t function. Truth is, we all really can’t function with massive life clutter and suppression and drama. We do it, but it’s tough and it shortchanges all our talent.
And… when I get those headache feelings and I’m not quite right, I dig in and start dumping.
Is it time to let things go?
A few ways to know…
1.You feel much more negative than positive about something, and the positive is never easily sustained. For example, you have a solid time in your home after a talk with a roommate and then things descend into misery very rapidly.
2. Whatever it is is much more time consuming to fix than you could have ever imagined, and that time is costing you in other areas of your life. I’m all for spending lots of time in betterment, but if it’s taking you a weekend and every evening and lots of money in extreme self care to recover from a week of work (and I have had many jobs like that!!!) is that job really worth it? Noooooo it is not.
3. You think if you fix yourself, something will change. Red flag. We aren’t Mr. and Mrs. Fix-Its. You can’t feel overly responsible for any situation, any home, and especially not for any person’s behavior other than your own.
That said, if you’re actively (& deliberately) causing problems and you decide to fix that, more power to you. That’s noble and awesome.
4. You’re on a rollercoaster. If your money is up & down, your moods are up & down or your productivity is up & down… you are attached to stuff of people that are not for you and likely squash your wellbeing. Most of the time this is 100% true. Heed the warning. If up & down is normal, let that problem thing go.
5. You’re not feeling like yourself. That is everything. Even if you sit on a couch or put on an outfit and don’t feel like yourself , it’s time to give it away.
6. You’re not heeding the signs. My car got 2 mysterious dents that have never happened to me (and from no accidents) all in the space in time when I knew I needed to let something go and wasn’t yet clear or brave enough to do it. Know what I mean? We all get signs… and it’s really vital to heed those signs!
7. The idea of loss is scarier than the idea of feeling good. This is when you know you’ve gone under the toxic spell-haze of attachment to things that just aren’t right. If it feels like a drug addiction, if you feel you’d lose your life or identity to lose something or someone, seek help. Codependency and trauma can make it really hard to see yourself as separate from negative situations, especially those that are emotionally taxing.
8. You’re not able to see a bright future. When I lose my excitement, I purge my life of stuff. It’s why the Catalyst Camp is so exciting every year. I’m moved to dump and dump and dump. Visions of the future burn bright.
9. The more you try to fix something, the worse it gets. Have you ever heard of a car where you fix one thing and then another breaks, over and over? Time to get rid of the car. Same with the house that’s a money pit and may need to be re-built in a more sound way, the relationship in shreds that you’re trying to navigate that manifests new issues as old one’s resolve… There’s something to be said for knowing when you’ve invested enough in any one way or one thing that isn’t ever functioning well.
10. You feel stuck with the way things are. This is scarcity. You start to believe: There isn’t another, there isn’t an option, there isn’t a choice, there isn’t a way out. But there’s always more. And there’s always another.
I don’t take matters of life decisions lightly. After all, if it’s this big of an attachment, it’s important to know that you’re truly done. But… if you’re losing more than you’re gaining, you’re giving and not getting at all, you’re feeling small, hurt, powerless, disconnected, undervalued or otherwise toxic… it’s your choice to let it continue.
In my experience, the choices that make you feel brighter, lighter, more grounded and most worthy are the right ones.
Follow what you truly feel is best for you. Don’t follow the feeling of attachment and say that love or passion is worth these sacrifices of integrity. We’ve all done it. Don’t continue it. That’s not love. That’s not a sacrifice for “art” or anything else other than self-sacrifice.
Your wellbeing is what makes a choice the right one. Those choices for your wellbeing will be ones that you’ll never regret.
P.S.: The Catalyst Camp Life De-Clutter is coming soon!
It starts with a FREE 3-Video Class to revolutionize your clutter clearing… with lots of Feng Shui magic mixed in, too!
Clearing clutter- even the overwhelmingly tough stuff- can – and will- be super-fun!!!