This concept consistently stops me in my tracks.
Think about it… if you’re struggling in some big way to get things (which I think all of us do from time to time, at the very least) then… could it be that stuff’s getting done backwards?
Every time I see myself trying way too hard to get things (ie: have something that’s eluding me) I reach for this idea.
Am I being myself right now?
It’s a pretty wild concept. You can see in your environment so much of the ways you might have strayed from being yourself.
You can feel it when you’re “trying” to be something you’re just not… that sort of uneasy feeling… everything’s so much effort and second-guessing…
Or… when you’re so obsessed with an outcome that you need to have that it’s driving you mad (or to psychics, or to get a radical makeover, or a ridiculous amount of advice to try to wrap your head aroud something)…
There’s so much pressure to conform. But there’s also so much power in being true to you.
Because I’m a natural-born control freak and was born trying to escape the small town in Jersey where I lived (!) I was super tuned-in to ways to escape. Due to my own limitations as a kid (what could I really do to get things without a job?) I turned all my focus to school. I was lucky that I found teachers that encouraged me to be my weirder-thinking self. It was a place where I could be me- as weird as I was in my hometown- and all that acceptance of me and my thoughts helped me to do so much writing and enter so many contests and scholarships that I ultimately won that allowed me to have my wish! It got me out of New Jersey more and more.
I actually got what I wanted from being me first.
I wish I remembered that in the years that followed…!
Especially because I didn’t have that many bosses at jobs who were all about me being me, and it’s not like the world reinforces the idea that being yourself is super-important. When there are bills to pay and things to achieve, all of that stuff that sort of hazes over the idea of “being yourself”. Or it did for me, in super-short order.
That said, nothing great ever came to me from trying to fit into inauthentic places. From forced jobs to relationships with the “right guy” that felt like a very big exercise in acting… doing the exercise routines that were deemed “the best” and made me feel terrible… Chasing dreams sucked.
If it sucks for you, too, this might be of some use. It’s helped me and still helps me when I find myself in that space of trying to have things in order to be happy.
You know that game? The relationship will make me happy, the car, the clothes, the job, the new hair, the… (you name it, I’ve tried it!)…
Here are a few of the ways I check myself- and my space!- when I feel like I’m doing life “backwards” and trying to get things so I can do things and then feel better…
Just BE a whole lot more. Meditative space is so important in every single environment. At my worst jobs I’d find an outside space that was free of people nearby where I could meditate for ten minutes a few times a day. At home, my Buddhist altar is my sanctuary. Can you clear a corner in your bedroom, or your livingroom, and use it to just sit and BE? Sure you can make it cool with candles and pillows and fun stuff, but the simplicity of just having a little clear space and tapping in is awesome. HERE is the simplest start to a Mindful Meditation practice that is so so great for your brain and wellneing.
Trust your good and bad vibes. If you don’t feel good about something no matter how great it sounds on paper, trust yourself. THIS lot of cool science about trusting how you feel is pretty awesome.
Clean your floors. Mop, vacuum, scrub… because your floors are your point of grounding during the day and when they feel solid you feel more solid.
And… detox the negativity from your life. The biggest one for me, every time! The more good – resonant, clear, happy- energy around you, the better you’ll be able to “just be.” It’s hard for me to feel settled with lots of negative junk around, and you likely feel the same.
If you want to start some of the feng shui I love to strip away the negative vibes, you can sign on HERE to do the FREE Life Detox Jump Start and start make your space shine brighter right now…!
Welcome to Creating Genius!
I spent the last year creating this e-guide to balancing and unblocking life by pulling together the best of a decade of space-changing and life-shifting feng shui! It’s 50 days and 50 ways to use feng shui to shift your space and your routines to move from “stuck” to creatively inspired and alive.
And… As a special bonus when you get the e-guide– a bonus that thrills me!— I’m leading a private Creating Genius + Artist’s Way Group for all of you, to guide you online through twelve weeks of creative awesomeness this year!
Gather up your magic & make gorgeous dreams come true!