If you’re highly sensitive, empathic or just a very open, caring person in general, you might not be surprised that there’s a link between Narcissists and Empaths. In fact, it’s such a common thing for the sensitive to attract the vampire personalities, it’s quite bizarre, as the two are polar oppositites in so many ways. And if you’re in this cycle in some way, feeling trapped in a relationship or two with a Narcissistic-type personality, you really can break free from the draining cycle!
At a wellness event in Holllywood, I met Tarot Master Nadine Kijner was sitting with a deck of beautiful cards, looking very much like someone I should talk to! I am not a big Tarot person (I have gotten very carried away with it in the past) but she’s so acclaimed and lovely I figured… why not?!
She pulled a few cards for me and explained how a past relationship with a Narcissist was lingering in my energy field, and that I needed to forgive myself for letting that into my life because it’s so common: “Narcissists are magnetized toward Empaths.” My eyes lit up. I finally understood what would allow me to keep anyone in my life who pulled so much energy, brought so much chaos and into my life for longer than I could have ever imagined. By clearing this out of my system completely, she explained, I’d learn the lessons that would enable me to NOT repeat that with anyone else.
This was a very valuable reading.
And I set off on my mission of clearing and learning.
Narcissistic personality types are real and everywhere.
What’s so interesting is that while it would seem that Narcissists value themselves highly (that’s the front that these people typically put on) the opposite appears to be true. It’s an actual emptiness, a void inside, trauma or neglect that’s left these folks feeling valueless and not-ever good enough. Narcissists can present themselves as passive aggressive people, shy types that become dominating and diminishing once you’re closer to them, or as straight-up egomaniacs, aggressively self-aggrandizing and self-oriented people…
The common threads: they come into your life as hyper-charming or somehow your best friend instantly, it’s truly never about you, it’s all about them once you know them, they’re never satisfied or at peace… and the big one: you lose so much energy when you’re around them.
There were many ah-ha moments in this for me!
Now, it’s worth saying, this isn’t a judgement to call people Narcissists, it’s an observation and a phenemenon. Anyone with any type of lack of self-worth or balance can get all types of therapy, healing and, yes, anyone can change.
But if you’re a sensistive person and you’re linked to Narcissists, realize, first, that you’ve allowed that energy into your life because it at frst appeared like a giant Love Bomb of super-affection, attention, praise, greatness… it’s the greatest thing ever when you first meet a Narcissist lots of times, as they’re full of lavishness emotionally that feels great. That’s how the linking-up happens in the first place. Get a little closer and you’ll see the other sides of this situation… the draining, self-absorbed, possessive, manipulating, gaslighting, chaos-storms of reality. Once you’re hooked though, it’s so confusing it’s hard to break away. And if you do try to break away, they’ll be extra Love-Bombing until you’re back in place.
So, once you see this, once you feel it, what do you do?
And maintain as close to zero contact as possible if it’s a very destructive pattern you’re in.
Then, do your own clearing work to bring your energy and awareness up to keep you revitalized and well and far more full of self-love.
Love is a force-shield, after all!
Examples of clearing work: space clearing, energy healings, trauma therapy, journaling, support groups… Anything that resonates and focuses on your wellbeing (not them and their issues and what they’ve done) can lift you up and, in the process, as Nadine said, you’ll learn how to not attract that stuff any more. Or, at least you won’t let it too close to you!!!
Keep on with the clearing and self-love as a second full-time job (!) until you feel very full.
And keep your own energy balanced. THESE recommendations for highly sensitive people to shore up their energy are amazing and time-tested.
It’s not an uncommon story for the sensitive to attract the insensitive, but… it certainly doesn’t have to be your story!
The incredible side effect of doing this clearing and work? So many opportunities, creative richness and prosperity flows freely when you’ve unhitched yourself from the draining, squashing craziness!
Enjoy every moment of your emotionally rich and incredibly powerful life!
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