I stopped trusting myself for a long spell some time ago after I made what I percieved to be “very big mistakes.”
It was like being alone in a desert, even though I had so so so many people telling me what to do because I wanted them to tell me what to do.
As it turns out, looking backward, the only real mistake I made was to stop trusting my judgement!
But, at the time… I left an amazing relationship because I wanted more and wanted to do more with my life (and I didn’t know how to evolve within the relationship, I just knew how to leave) and I found myself flailing in life without a partner that could ever compare anywhere in sight.
I was confused, so I found a famous psychic to give me career advice (the reason I left NYC to come to Los Angeles, yes, it’s true), I wrote a book but I didn’t know how to publish it so I focused on a whole other career that I was told by other people would be better for me and my future… I dressed the way that my team of representatives advised, I studied and learned what other people were doing…
One step lead to another step father away from myself until I didn’t recognize me any more. I gave away all my decision-making power to people who seemed to know better and made better choices. I gave money to people to guide me through decisions I could have made on my own.
Have you done this?
Have you made a few choices that had felt like mistakes and then… suddenly… you’ve lost faith in your own judgement?
Today’s feng shui is all about collecting your energy back and starting to chart your own course in your own way.
Mistakes are human. They’re not proof that you are flawed and they’re not a condemnation. They aren’t a predictor of your future, and they’re not your doom.
At least, that’s what I think.
What you perceive as mistakes can be lessons.
Those lessons can help you to not only make decisions that align much more with who you are and what you value… they can help you to define who you are and what you value.
I made a big mistake in a relationship, staying in a situation that was abusive, staying with my head buried in the sand, and that mistake was so catastrophic to me that it nearly cost me my heath, sanity and my career. But in making of that mistake, and the unravelling of it, I learned the lessons and did the healing that would be the foundation of a business and creative life that was beyond my wildest dreams.
A funny thing remained, though. It was something I didn’t think was negative, until I saw it in action.
I would replay the really negative parts of that relationship, over and over, in a big loop in my head, every time I met someone new. After all, I needed to be sure that I didn’t repeat the mistake. But, in living this way, I paralyzed my future.
Are you holding onto your mistakes and reviewing them often so you don’t repeat them… but you feel like now you’re stagnant?
Are you letting mistakes be the reason not to trust yourself rather than the lessons that make you better off as you grow?
There is a Feng Shui principle that helped me to finally let go of the thoughts and fears: Tao.
The more I focused on connecting to my quietest and truest self, clear of all that negativity, the more I was able to separate myself from the ideas that anything was “wrong with me” or my judgement.
Tapping into your truest YOU will help you be free of other people’s dreams, opinions and plans.
Shut down the advice hotlines.
Quiet your phone. Quiet your home of noise streaming in from TV and Internet. Close the advice books. De-stimulate your life of anything that’s coming in as information to influence you.
Shift away from the feedback loop of replaying the past.
Sometimes it’s as easy as shifting your thoughts when you see the loop of stuff turn on in your head. Draw instead of replaying the past. Do yoga instead of going through an old story. Take walks instead of looking backward.
Get all the help you need to clear traumas in a deeply empowered way. Whereas in the past I would find people to be dependent upon to lead me (because I didn’t trust myself!) I started to seek out some great support that would help me restore faith in me. Find healers, therapists, councilors and modalities that encourage you to develop the skills and tools to care for yourself in your own best ways and you’ll feel your life lifting up.
Move things around your home intuitively until they click in a new way.
The way to create a new story in space is as easy as playing around with new ways to decorate the mantle, hang the art, set up the front door, organize the bookshelves…
All without any specific instructions. All based on what feels good.
Sure, you can fine tune your Feng Shui later, but for now, go with how it seems it would be best.
It’s easy, it’s fun, it’s all stuff you can do today.
These shifts are small but mighty.
Oh, the time I wasted and the relief I felt once I decided to shut down the advice hotline and make my own way! But, of course, it wasn’t wasted time (!) … just another great big lesson that’s shaped my life in a big way.
Deciding to gather up your power where you’ve handed it over to others, deciding to be the author of your story rather than a character in someone else’s, giving yourself permission to make “mistakes” and learn from them rather than condemning yourself…
It’s such freedom. I know that no one knows better what’s best for me than me…and I bet that no one knows better what’s best for you than you!
P.S.: If you’re ready to take the energy around you to the next level, detox the negativity and make space for joy, the Joy Immersion: 30 Day Negativity Detox is here for you.
THE JOY IMMERSION is a commitment to happy-making, mirror-polishing, life-lifting and simple space shifting for 30 days. It’s loaded with lots of actions that can help you detox from your own negative stuff, uncover more of your greatness and light, and see happiness everywhere you look…!
Welcome to Creating Genius!
I spent the last year creating this e-guide to balancing and unblocking life by pulling together the best of a decade of space-changing and life-shifting feng shui! It’s 50 days and 50 ways to use feng shui to shift your space and your routines to move from “stuck” to creatively inspired and alive.
Gather up your magic & make gorgeous dreams come true!