You create your reality from your unique point of view.
How you see yourself is a huge part of that reality that you see and conceptualize.
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I can change.” – Carl Rogers
That’s what today’s feng shui is all about- the deep and meaningful ways that we can accept who we are, and, by doing so, start to evolve into the highest visions we hold for ourselves.
There’s no self-badgering, pressure or criticism involved, no unnatural pushing or striving that feels weird. It’s all flow…and that flow, deeply rooted in who you are and what you love, can help you to rocket forward in amazing ways!!!
What someone perceives to be true about themselves and others, becomes their reality.
“As no one else can know how we perceive, we are the best experts on ourselves.”
– Carl Rogers
Here’s a brief history of the notion of our personal Self-Concept:
Roy Baumeister is a social psychologist that specializes in self-concept and how we come to feel the way we do about ourselves, including our self-perception. In 1990 Baumeister defined self-concept as, “The individual’s belief about himself or herself, including the person’s attributes and who and what the self is”. (more here)
Carl Rogers was a psychologist who believed in the humanistic approach to understanding the personality of people and how this affects our relationships with others. Humanistic psychology studies the entire person as a whole, and examines the behavior of the individual through the perspective lens of the person behaving, as well as the person observing the behavior.
The humanistic approach to psychology is based on the core belief that people are all basically good and that we all strive, inherently, to help both ourselves and others. It’s based on the notion that we all have have free will and make personal choices that lead us down specific paths. It upholds the idea that personal growth and satisfaction are a basic human motive, and, as explained here in Simply Psychology: ” (it) emphasizes the personal worth of the individual, the centrality of human values, and the creative, active nature of human beings. The approach is optimistic and focuses on noble human capacity to overcome hardship, pain and despair.”
How we create our Self-Concept
Carl Rogers identified 3 fundamental components to our creation of a self-concept. You can learn more HERE but the summary is quite powerful:
Self-worth: Otherwise known as self-esteem, our self-worth is how we value ourselves. There are many ways in which our self-esteem can be affected, including the amount of time we spend comparing ourselves to others. (*please do all you can to stop if you do this, it’s an incredible waste of your energy!) This can be on a physical, emotional, and intellectual level. The reinforcement and feedback we get from our environment- both from people and from the state of the space itself- all contribute to these feelings of self-value.
Self-Image: This is basically how you view yourself, which can be distorted, underestimated or exaggerated.
Ideal Self: This is what you would like to be. A lot of times who we wish to be will not match up to how we actually view and value ourselves.
All of these combine to inform how we view ourselves. And if that concept is skewed, things can get really dicey. We run up against our own concepts of being unworthy, not good enough, etc… and that’s when it’s time to layer-up the self-love in actions every day.
Now…how does Self-Actualization (IE: the state of being the best we can be in every way) come about?
Carl Roger’s theory of “self-actualization”, was a theory that revolves around the growth potential of the individual and the alignment and congruency of the one’s real self and ideal self. When a human-being can
Integrate these components so that they line up, they will become a fully functioning human-being.
In his studies Rogers found that there are commonalities among those people who are self-actualized.
His findings on what makes someone bring to real life their biggest dreams for themselves (ie: the best self concept) are beautifully explained in Journal Psyche:
“A goal that most people seek to attain, the good life as described by Rogers is achieved by the person fulfilling certain principles. In his studies Rogers found that there are commonalities among those people who are fully functional. These are:
- An acceptance of all experiences including those that are new.
- An existential lifestyle, in which each moment is appreciated and lived to its fullest.
- A trust level with one’s own decisions.
- Increasing freedom of choice
- Creativity and adaptability without necessarily conforming.
- Reliability and constructiveness in their dealings with others.
- A preference for living a rich, full life.
These traits are fluid in their expression with the person being capable of self-actualizing them.”
So… if you want to get into alignment and really bloom in the biggest ways, start simple:
Practice trusting yourself much more. Close your eyes and tune in throughout the day, and see how different things make you feel. This will make a huge difference in your life.
Make art all the time… even if you aren’t an “artist.” Stretch your creative muscles by indulging in hobbies, DIYs, doodles… or a more rigorous art practice if you’d like… but make art, all the time!
Wash your mirrors— including your car mirrors, your makeup compact mirrors… keep every mirror clean to reflect the sharpest picture possible!
Lean into new changes. Trust me, I know what it’s like to resist change sometimes. I have been quite recently in a heap of tears trying to sort out a new phone and computer system … such positive changes… and had to remind myself to breathe and physically relax into the changes. If you get tense, brathe into the tension until you feel it flow away.
Add more adventure into your life. Even the scheduling of a night camping, a day at the beach or hiking, adventuring through the city where you live or things that are close by… all supercharge the adventure in your life. This will keep you rooted in what you love and growing every day. While I’ll never repeat certain adventures- like sliding down a volcano on a board earlier this year- I can say that they’ve all shaped me and constantly extend my perimeters. When you feel dull… go exploring much more!
Start a complaint jar. Every time you complain about anything, put $1.00 into a jar and donate it to a good cause at the end of the month. Or… put in a token into that complaint jar that equals an hour of altruistic work if you’re not good with carrying cash! In this way, you won’t penalize yourself for complaining, but, rather, you’ll cure your complaints by becoming part of the solutions. Simply deciding to dedicate a few hours a month to altruism will dramatically change your days!
Keep growing, learning and expanding step-by-step. Own who you are, what you love, what you love to do… own every piece of it and enjoy it fully. As Carl Rodgers said, “…when I accept myself as I am, then I can change.”
You are already awesome and I’m wishing you so much fun making your dreams come true!!!
A huge P.S. today: The Cash Camp is HERE!
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And, if you want to dive in to your own personalized feng shui in a modern, practical way, Say hello to Feng Shui 101. Its the guide I made for you to create your own personalized feng shui at home, in the office, wherever you may be… in 8 weeks. It’s not filled with strict rules or what you “must” do. Its filled with information, questions, exercises and even videos and classes to help you confidently create amazing spaces with killer feng shui and live with more flow. Learn more about the 8-week feng shui adventure & grab your copy to get started right HERE… And, as always, please let me know what happens!