When something is done, let it be completely done. Gather up all your energy. Make sure the door is completely and firmly closed. Move forward.
It isn’t harsh, unfeeling or otherwise cruel or dispassionate.
In fact, if that job, that person, that relationship or anything else that you know needs to be 100% gone and over and done is still looming, it’s creating an energetic drain and a block to the new. Keeping that door cracked open is keeping the door shut in many ways to new possibilities.
Gather up and gather back all the energy you need to gather and launch into a new cycle in life with a clean slate.
If there’s one thing I have learned personally and profoundly in 2016 it’s that you can forgive the unforgivable people fully and still need to be free of every tie and every entanglement that leave them in your life in any way. I’ve seen it create absolutely magical space and opportunities over and over again.
When you’ve let something go and decided to completely shut the door firmly on that something- especially if it was something harmful, someone abusive, something duplicitous or dangerous or someone who is extremely toxic- it should be an enormous relief and release. Life should flow again where it was sticking and the old adage, “When one door closes, another opens,” should hold true as new opportunities emerge.
If you’re not feeling that release or you’ve let go and still feel sticky in this part of life or worse, you’re finding that these people and situations are creeping back in… the door wasn’t shut completely and the space wasn’t totally cleared.
Ready to get it done?
Start here:
Are you still hoping for a magic transformation of that person, situation or group, so you’re keeping the door cracked open for their return ?
One of the most humanly beautiful things we all do is hope for people to change and believe that it’s possible. If you’ve changed habits, emotional patterns, diets, friends, careers… you know that it’s not an instant situation, yet for others we hope, wish and believe that it is because we care. Check to see that you aren’t holding the door ajar for a magic transformation, keeping your life on hold in the meantime. People DO change, and if they do, and they’re meant to be a part of your life, you’ll feel it, see it, know it and welcome it in.
Are you holding a distorted, over-rosy picture of the situation now that it’s over?
Wow, how many times do we maximize the less-than-awesome parts of the past when the future is unknown?
Remember this:
Let yourself feel excited about what is ahead and what will show up every day that is far more beautiful- and full of love and peace and lightness.
Perhaps you were so mistreated that you want revenge.
That energy of revenge is not useful. First of all, it keeps the door open to the past and lets that old energy linger and control your days. Secondly, if revenge is your motivation, you won’t be in a creative space to make things that are truly great happen, and you might actually repeat the same cycle again because your living low on the chain of emotions.
Look at how low vindictiveness is! You’re practically without energy, forcing yourself through life. Don’t worry about revenge— seek freedom and realize that everyone will one day live the effects of their own karmic actions, as sad as that is for some people who aren’t kind, ethical or well.
You still have old things in your life from this situation or this person.
I got a phone call two days ago that allowed me a chance to finally be very definitive (and very vocal) about never letting a very abusive person and narcissistic person have any energetic entry into my life again as they are living. It was so odd because I had, I felt, in every way shut the door. I even bought a new car!!! I forgave, I cut every tie on every level, I swept my life clear, I never spoke about this person, I did every form of cleansing and all the life work needed to feel free…. but the phone rang and I picked it up.
Which puzzled me. All of it.
I picked up the phone to speak with the friend of someone who all but shattered me with every kind of toxic deception because I clearly wasn’t 100% untangled from this situation.
I explained so forwardly and honestly and courageously that I wanted to no part in the life of an actively-using addict, liar, narcissist, morally bankrupt and rage-filled person. It was the very first time I could state it all plainly and be OK with the fact that, yes, I got tricked. I finally set the record straight on all the ways I had been distorting the past in that magical thinking of a magic transformation that I knew would never come: I want no part in any of it.
When the phone clicked off, I felt a rush of glitter fill me up!
I had incense and Sage burning, and two big sacks of even more stuff I found (where was it hiding?!) that’s tied to this person all gathered up to go out to a donation center where it can serve others.
It’s like new energy systems just got jet fueled!!!
Forgive fully. Even if you have to forgive hundreds of times!
Make sure you’ve closed the door on the past– no magic transformations waited for, no big hopes to go backward, no, no no.
Untie any ties still loosely tied by dumping every single bit of stuff that is attached to the person, place or situation 100%.
Realize, you can be friends with kind, healthy people who you once dated and not toxic people, you can go back to old jobs if they’re great jobs—you can resume stuff from the past and still move forward in life.
Just not the toxic and life-sucking past, no way, no how!
Create the new!!!
This is the road to a life of unlimited opportunity where you can’t be held back or stopped.
While I haven’t had an example so viscerally of this in a while because I keep my life pretty clear, it happens to all of us that the door to the past wasn’t closed completely. You can shut it whenever you’re ready to set the future free!
xoxo
Dana
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