Maybe it would be best to title these thoughts: “Why things aren’t working out no matter how hard you work.”
Because that’s what resistance is all about.
It’s that feeling that feels like it’s hard to catch your breath sometimes after you’ve worked so hard and you’ve done all the “experts” say to do and you’ve pushed to the limits and you’ve tried and tried and that magical manifestation of whatever it is you need or want just isn’t there.
And you’re focused on it now that it’s not here.
Where is it? How could it be gone? Why isn’t it here? I must be broken? Are you sure I’m not cursed? How come other people get things so easily? Why are they thriving and I am struggling?
Then soon you may get to…
Why do I even bother? Maybe I should quit and start doing something else? I’m done trying…
And then soon, you might even spiral to a place of self-condemnation that is even less of what you want…
And then… nothing is fun or moving or open or anything but a struggle and in that place it’s really hard to even imagine good things.
For a decade I struggled with this whole cycle that led me to the most gnarly extreme places of highs and lows and wanting and constantly needing things and always feeling behind, and breathless, then comparing and wanting and waiting and flying into tears and quitting and starting again.
People said I was “strong” and a “fighter” and that I had “persistence” and that I was such an inspiration… but… I was always miserable, always spent, always worried and always, no matter what I could hard-drive my way into making, feeling like it was so much less.
In my experience- and a host of illnesses and meldowns later- that is not a way to live.
But for many of us it’s a habit.
And it’s all resistance.
Today, if you’re ready to go on the ride, lets take a collective deep breath and start letting this go!
Harmony is what people who seem to have it all come easy seem to have a lot more of in their lives. Have you noticed that people who “have it easy” seem to have great relationships with no constant drama, lots of interests that they actively pursue, a super-optimistic outlook even in really hard times and they generally, no matter what, really like themselves?
That’s kind of awesome right?
Before we harmonize more, it’s always helpful (and vital) to relax more.
Sit down and close your eyes and breathe deeply for ten or fifteen minutes.
Take a nap.
Can you get a massage? Or take a bath?
Can you find a tree to sit by or a bunch of plants to water, a lawn to walk on or an animal to snuggle with?
Do it until you feel really, truly, completely relaxed.
Now…
What can you feel harmonious about?
What are ten things you really love about yourself? Or one thing. Or three. However many things you can identify about yourself that you really love, say them over and over again for a few minutes.
Funny, super-clever, resourceful, you’ve got beautiful eyes, you’re great at yoga… everything. Every single thing.
If you’re tempted to say… I love ….. this about myself… but…
That’s where you stop yourself.
I love …. this about myself.
Period.
Harmony is also easiest gained when you focus on the positive instead of the negative. If you zoom in on what has not come yet… guess what will continue?
YES. What you want will persist in not coming.
This is a simple but constistently good idea:
Feeling even 5% lighter. That’s awesome!
Now…
Please stop trying so hard because you are enough.
I remember being asked a decade ago by a famous casting director in a moment that felt so destined if I would audition for one of the biggest films of the year ahead. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing but they wanted someone like me for this part. So, I spent two weeks non-stop preparing – even dying my hair and getting a whole new look together- to be ready for this big moment where, in the room, I absolutely freaked out. The casting director stopped the tape, sent everyone out of the room and said…” We want you to be you. Not all the rest of this stuff.” I told her I was too lost in all I did to prepare to actually be myself …I was so out of touch with myself in the frenzy I put myself in… and I walked out and cried for the better part of two days. It was a very hard and confusing and important lesson in the simple idea:
We are enough, exactly as we are.
Resistance is a form of scarcity.
We fixate so much on what hasn’t shown up because- ” Oh no!- what if it’s the only chance I will have to do anything good? What if it’s the only shot?”
It isn’t and it won’t be! With billions of people and infinite opportunities, there are so many doors to lead you toward the things you love and so many people to help them swing open.
Clear away resistance in your environment!
Resistance is clutter. You may not see it— like the stuff you have in a big closet or that stuffed drawer… but you feel it regardless. From piles of unread emails to a full voicemail box.
Resistance is also something energetically swirling around us.
It’s why we feel so much better after cleaning the house, opening windows or doing feng shui-style space clearing!
Resistance is tricky because it can set off anxiety and it can prompt you to want to do more and more and more to fight against it… and that leads to more and more resistance.
What you resist, persists. What you fight against, fights you back…
When you surrender- and allow yourself to be, and clear away whatever is in the way simply and consistantly- you’ll likely find what you were looking for.
And you’ll feel much better in the process…!
xoxo Dana
P.S.: If you’re ready to take the energy around you to the next level, detox the negativity and make space for joy, the Joy Immersion: 30 Day Negativity Detox is here for you.
THE JOY IMMERSION is a commitment to happy-making, mirror-polishing, life-lifting and simple space shifting for 30 days. It’s loaded with lots of actions that can help you detox from your own negative stuff, uncover more of your greatness and light, and see happiness everywhere you look…!
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