Important Things To Know When You Are Looking For A Healer

May 16, 2017 | Feng Shui 101

Crystals are epic.

I love all forms of empowering life expansion…! And I imagine that you do, too!

This morning, I held rare minerals, played with healing crystals and enjoyed learning about empowering rituals from an empowering woman.  It was so much fun, so bright and so affirmative.

Healing should always be empowering. And you should always be participating and driving the process, you know?

I’m pretty open to a vast spectrum of experiences, and I’m not one to say how things “should” be.  But… here I will state a few shoulds: You should not walk away from any “healing” experience feeling less-than-aware of yourself, spun out, disoriented or anything of the sort.  You should not feel compelled to ask a healer or a psychic what to do next with every move you make because you’ve been directly told by them not to trust your own judgement.  You shouldn’t feel bound to anything- be it a crystal, talisman or a person- as the key to your betterment.

Ethical, talented, awesome people in the world of wellness and healing are aware of that.  You don’t feel broken around them and there’s always lots of empowerment to share.

Healers are a tricky subject.

There are so many talented people who have dedicated their lives to modalities that create wonderful effects in concert with your participation.

There are also very dangerous, unstable, unethical and manipulative people that also go by the same name of  “healer”.

I had incredible amounts of experience with healers of all kinds prior to actually entering the world of wellness,  incredible amounts of experience with healing modalities from every corner of the world, psychics (some now world-famous and some who have vanished), and all kinds of diets, cleanses and more.

Let’s just say I believed I was broken and I would do anything to fix it.

The world is waking up to many more energies, much more awareness and a sense of connectedness in a much deeper sense in humanity, nature and all the forces that make life feel magical.  The prevalence of energy medicines and acupuncture, yoga and modalities of healing trauma that before were “underground” are now rising to the surface.

There are so many talented and helpful people who can be of assistance and do wonderful things to support your wellbeing.  There are incredible acupunturists, homeopaths, holistic therapists, intuitives and healers in all parts of the world.

It’s very sad to me that there are also, in droves, charlatans, unethical “healers” in quotes, and other people who present themselves- whether they are talented or not- as the answer to your prayers when they are actually quite akin to cult leaders, criminals and psychopaths.  They will rope you in in many manipulative ways and then get to work on you, whether it’s financially, mentally or emotionally making you feel you need them.

I can’t be more emphatic about this: you need to know and trust who you are allowing into your life to help to heal you or guide you in some way that is personal.

I’ve made the mistakes in this realm and I am resolved to not make them again.

You should- in my mind-  always see medical doctors hand have them on your team when healing an illness of any sort.  And… it’s my sincerest hope that you keep your eyes open and your mind very clear and strong when working in the modalities of spiritual, psychic or other energy stuff.

I also think it’s vital to note – from looking back on my whole life, personally- that if you’re in a lost, depleted, and not sure of yourself- you leave yourself more vulnerable to things that are not that awesome.  It’s best to get more physically strong and aware before getting into these energetic realms and navigating the “experts”…

My biggest red flags when dealing with healers of all kinds, psychics and the like are hard-won lessons.  I’ve seen these “healer” people try to destroy lives.

I have also seen people make great strides in healing of all kinds and personal growth.

Today I hope I can shed some light on the sifting of the good from the bad.

The intention of writing this is to raise awareness.  I love the world of wellness and healing, and yet I’m acutely aware of when it’s gone sour. I have seen this dynamic of the unethical and possibly even mentally unstable healer very close to home more than once.

And, it’s my hope that you can do all you can to find the type of support in your life that is truly supportive.

Some things that are not uncommon but very troubling to see from unethical types of healers and other people who try to hold influence in the lives of others…

1. They say that you need a lot of work- many problems that you identify- and say they are the only ones who have the power to fix it.  If you are in a very low place in life you may be prompted to move forward with a person like this in psychic, spiritual or “healing” modalities because you feel in some way blessed to have found them.  Be very aware when you hear this kind of talk.  It’s a lot easier to know that a storefront psychic who tells you that you are cursed and for $99 they will burn a candle to clear the curse is a fraud than it us to discern this from an energy healer who seems to have all kinds of confidence.  There is no such thing as a single person being your savior (!!!) so I would likely walk away at this point in the future, myself.

2. They claim to be the absolute best and endowed with supernatural powers.  This I am echoing from THIS piece on the signs of unethical healers started the same way.  Mine I speak from very personal experience. This links into #1 above.  While confidence and competence is great, humility is a really big deal.

3. They begin to isolate you from other people, or quickly criticize people around you.  You may hear about your evil friends, your toxic relationships, your need to leave your job or avoid certain people… and in these circumstances, it’s quite dangerous. You might find yourself isolating from friends and family because of the ideas you are being fed.

This is a tactic: when you are without your support network you are more vulnerable to cultish influence and ideas.

4. They denigrate other things that you find helpful.  I once told a healer I wanted to return to therapy because it was very stress-relieving and I was told what a waste of time it was and how damaging it was to my energy fields.  (???) And, of course, they were superior, anyway, so why should I bother with therapy?  (* I needed the therapy later to recover from the energy work!)

5. They overstep lines in telling you what you should do, say, think or know.  

I was told once in the middle of a “healing session” that my father made a deal with the darkness to sell me to the Illuminati when I was 19 years old, and that he came into the room as a spirit to say he was sorry.

What the $%&^!!!!????

I’ve also seen people so tethered to healers that they can’t make a move, have a relationship, create anything or really live without checking with them first.  That is allowing “no boundaries” and it’s a very crazy place to see people land.  I have been there.

6. They are beyond reproach. If you question their methods, their manners or their results, and you’re told that you need to buy more, do more or that you have been doing things to “negate” your progress by living the life you lead that you are used to living… well… that’s a really weird thing that can soon lead you to feel weaker.

I once felt I had the life sucked out of me.  I didn’t know what was happening and when I asked what was happening to the person who was” energy clearing” me I was told that apparently I had years of “resistance” that were my own creation that were holding me back.  I didn’t have that “resistance” before meeting this healer; everything was fine.

Curious, isn’t it?

7. They speak of their dark side, or, rather, the powers they choose to use for good that they could use for evil. If you ever hear threatening, vindictive or otherwise menacing language, call the police and get away.  I have also witnessed this.  It is not fun.  It’s also not real. PLEASE NOTE: No one can “psychically” destroy your life, even if they think they can.  Don’t give these distorted and vengeful people that much power, or any power at all.

8. You become afraid to walk away from working with them or engaging with them and no longer trust yourself. 

This is when it’s time to go and never look back.

If you’ve had a bad (or very bad) experience with a healer, try not to invest another moment of time or energy into it… because that’s how you stay stuck in the manipulation.

Taking responsibility has helped me not to repeat the same mistake twice, and it’s also helped me to come to trust myself enough that I realize that I have no personal need for the more mystical of healers myself, when I once thought I needed them dearly.

“Healing from (crooked) healers” can be the real empowerment in the experience.  Affirm who you are and how powerful you are as a person- we are all EQUAL.  Exercise and get physically strong.  Be kind to yourself and trust yourself to make decisions that feel good to you all day.  Connect with old friends, actual doctors if you need medical help.  Create beauty all around you. Do lots of space clearing (salt is a powerful one) and connect to the Earth.

Your success is the best way to thrive from an experience like this.

There are incredible people you can grow to trust, but be aware of what makes you feel wrong…or what may start to make you feel wrong.  If it feels wrong, it likely is wrong.  Trust yourself.

Wishing you love & wellness!

xoxo Dana



feng shui 101And, if you want to dive in to your own personalized feng shui in a modern, practical way, Say hello to Feng Shui 101.  Its the guide I made for you to create your own personalized feng shui at home, in the office, wherever you may be… in 8 weeks.  It’s not filled with strict rules or what you “must” do.  Its filled with information, questions, exercises and even videos and classes to help you confidently create amazing spaces with killer feng shui and live with more flow.   Learn more about the 8-week feng shui adventure & grab your copy to get started right HERE…   And, as always, please let me know what happens!


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