There are days when you get a lot of messages from the universe about what is off track. And, it’s tempting to find a cause outside of ourselves and that is also often useful.
Often, though, the issue is two-fold: we have something going on that’s both caused by outside factors along with our own actions.
Because we’re human, and we can’t see everything at once, it can be easy to miss the ways we – ourselves- sort of muck up our best efforts to move forward and get things done.
Our home, our mind and our habits all factor into how things go every day. We can’t change everything overnight… but finding even one bit of self-sabotage and setting it straight can totally transform your life!
Here are some of the most common self-sabotaging things I’ve lived, I’ve seen and I’ve helped to solve (or solved for myself!)…!
By the way, most of these I’ve seen to be normal and probably the most common-sense human reactions to needing to do a lot, achieve a lot or create a lot, to solve problems and keep on moving forward. The thing is, they aren’t always the ways that lead to the outcomes we want.
If you’re busy and finding things are going awry and you’re in a panic, confusion, chaos or just really bummed out by the way things are going… this is a starter-list of ideas to see if something simple (and freeing, and pleasant, and fun to do) can be cleared up and polished to regain your flow!!!
You do what’s important last. Nothing like leaving the biggest decisions that impact your life for 2am, you know? I have done this more times than I can count. We have limited amounts of clear-minded decisions to make in a day before “decision fatigue” sets in. I know those big decisions can be daunting, but when you clear them earlier in the day – or make the calls, do the meetings, etc- you free up space for brilliance and solutions!
You skip your morning routine. Ahem. I am looking at myself typing this as I’m about to do my morning routine in the afternoon today. This happens very rarely to me now, but it sets off the appropriate alarm bells for me to slow down, take more breaks and put what matters most as absolutely #1 priority.
You spend time talking about things instead of doing them. How many times have you texted, emailed and called people to talk about all you have to do instead of starting? I can’t count how many times, and I’d tell myself I was gathering inspiration, ideas or something else as I did it… and it was time that was, for everyone, super-unrewarding.
You look for lots of quick fixes. Of course, you want that thing right now and the quick fix is to get a cheap version of the thing or the one that’s closest… Or the thing that’s going to immediately make things better instantly. And then, you don’t get anything done, but have a mess to clean up. Quick fixes are often time wasters. Take the time to do things right- it will resonate in your whole life!
You stop self-care. Because, who has time for a detox bath in the midst of a work marathon? Who can be bothered to order the salad when the fast food is so much faster to eat? We all have these negotiations that allow all the healthy choices that actually FEEL GREAT in lieu of the hustle pace.
“There’s no time,” will be the mantra that brings you no time.
Without self care- from food to sleep, to baths to a few minutes of walking or anything else- we lose our sparkle and all that we do becomes far less effective. When you’re busy— double up on the self-care!!!
You don’t speak up when you know you should. There are many ways I can imagine how situations would have gone differently if I took the time to ask, to speak up or to confront things before they went in the direction I didn’t want them to go! Speaking up can be your greatest asset. Following your intuition can be harder when it’s ultra-busy, but that’s when our intuition is most needed. Self-care is so vital to keeping our intuitive voice strong!!!
Rushing is the pace. Rush and you will get what happens when you rush— the product that is done super-fast. Do you want someone to rush to cut your hair? Do you want your dentist to rush? Do you want to rush your birthday? We never want to rush important things or things we love— but the rest feel justifiable to rush… and then we see just how many mistakes, things that are not our best work and more of the “blah” get accomplished.
There are no breaks. Breaks bring you life and energy. Take them. You need them. Breaks will bring you to more productive and happy places, reviving your energy and making you more potent, creative and effective. Trust in your life enough to take those time outs!
Of course, everything in life is easier without the sabotage we can all accumulate called clutter. Junk, piles, ignored stuff, bad memories… and the disorganization that can feel like madness. Gather up your energy by clearing your home and life of the clutter. You’ll feel more present and less apt to fall back on these habits that can put the day in a tailspin.
Deep breaths. Whatever you have to do, you absolutely can do it! Stay calm, great grounded, and dive in!
xoxo Dana
P.S.: The Cash Camp is coming soon.
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It’s so easy to immediately engage in negative talk about self or the situation around self. It’s taken practice, but observing without harsh judgement, and responding helpfully rather than reacting negatively, can happen. (Constant practice). The hurtful things I can say to myself simply have no usefulness. Thank you for sharing!!
Oh it’s amazing to hear youve found a way to more and deep self-love!!!! So so awesome!!!!!