As I’m typing this, a kettle is boiling for a rare afternoon tea. Soon, my favorite cashew butter bread will be in the oven. I feel lke it’s time to do some space clearing, hanging some new art later, ordering a photo I’ve been eyeing of two buffalo for my bedroom.
When I don’t get to do things like cooking or stretching or even sensing the moment, I used to think that was when I was “getting a lot done.” It’s when I believed I was on fire, in a deep sensory way, so incredibly busy doing my passionate work that I could never feel guilty for not giving 100%. I was fitting all the life part of life inside my mad dash to an imaginary finish line.
If you feel like you aren’t working hard enough, doing enough, hustling enough for your work, your body, your spirit… well, you are not alone.
But, if you are feeling this way, it may be a sign that much less can serve you so much more.
If you wanted some lemons, I would chop you a basket full. If you were looking for a paragraph, I would write you ten pages and wonder if it was enough.
Outperforming. It’s this deeply ingrained habit in me. If someone was “hard working” I would out-work them by a mile or ten. It was a way I learned to survive, to excel, to be “valuable.” On a pop psychological level, my father only saw me or had an interest in me if I achieved something. I only felt I was worthwhile if I did more than anyone else. I was sure that I wouldn’t rise above poverty, instability and fear unless I tripled-down on doing so much more that anyone else.
Having this deep habit so entwined with my own survival, I was very accustomed to not putting much value into many things including — time off, rest, love, adventure, hobbies, or anything but the metrics of achievement.
All that stuff… It was soft. It was lazy. It was a distraction.
None of this was objectively true, but I felt it deeply. So, that made it very true for me.
Maybe you feel the same? And nothing you do is every enough?
In fact, when I first attempted to have a “balanced” life many years ago, I convinced myself that my work would suffer if I took more time for fun— and it did. I went back to my old ways, doubled-down on work and wow, I felt like “myself” again. Back to that race.
When you believe something is true, you’re going to see that proof of how true it is everywhere, even if it isn’t true. You’ll make it true.
I was sticking to my guns— being lost in achievement was the way to excellence.
What was weird was when I stopped feeling achievements. Someone asked me if I was excited about all the things I had done the few months prior and I wasn’t… I didn’t even feel like I did anything. I wasn’t excited about what was ahead. I didn’t really care about anything.
The void I created by single-minded focus and doing way too much in the name of achievement was finally so large that I had fallen into it.
I was completely and totally numb to everything. Looking back, it was more like deafening sensory overload— I was a computer that maxed out it’s memory, battery life, everything…
Not a fun thing, to feel like a machine. Or, rather, to feel nothing, just life a machine.
If you’re truly not getting enough done every day : get more organized, clear minded and focused in simple ways. This is the easy path to more accmplishment without stress.
If you’re getting a ton done every day but your bar is really high and you’ve got to push the limits every day so you have no time for anything else… one big ideas is to do less. A lot less.
If you have to do SO MUCH to make an impact, chances are whatever you’re doing, you’re not doing it well.
I wasn’t. It’s humbling to realize it.
I can’t be my most brilliant 24/7.
I can’t be “on” all day and all night.
No one can.
There comes a point where all you’re doing becomes mechanical and pointless.
You are diluting your own power if you do way too much.
It isn’t wealth-building, it’s self-sabotaging.
So, for those of you who really do need to be more productive to feel the spirit of your talent and energy (and jobs and money and all that good stuff) made manifest, organize much more. Clear more space. Learn best practices that resonate with you to get that stuff done that’s been scattered and placed on HOLD.
For those of you who do a ton already but aren’t feeling the effects though you’re working yourself crazy, try doing less. Dare to do it. See what it does to the quality of your expression, the energy you emenate, the truth in your voice and confidence.
All that spacious living may seem scary because you’ll feel things again. Lots of things. You’ll see what your days look like. You’ll sense a lot that may be out of balance or off kilter.
That’s awesome.
Now you can design your real dream life. One where you get to live and love and rest and do nothing and also excel because you’re off the hamster wheel and sitting in the driver’s seat.
xoxo!!!
Dana
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