There’s always a way to keep growing.
There’s always a way to stop ourselves from growing.
I’ve seen a lot of my own self-sabotage in high-contrast. I’ve watched the patterns of thousands of people at this point, seeing and hearing the same things I’ve seen, and still sometimes see so clearly now, in myself.
I used to think all think all the forces that created the up and down, boom and bust cycles I was stuck in came from some place outside of me.
I know now it’s all in me, and that’s awesome. It means it’s all mine to clear away.
Self-sabotage is alot of what that glass ceiling is made from. It’s the elusive stuff that keeps life ambling at the same level, keeping us running like we’re on a hamster wheel.
Is it your own self-sabotage that’s holding life back from hitting the next level?
Funny enough, unlike lots of blocks and obstacles that become clear when you’re in a dry spell in life, self-sabotage is easiest to spot when things are fantastic.
“It was all going great until…”
I dreaded that sentence that I’d say so often it was like a mantra.
Here it comes…waiting for that other shoe to drop.
I’m on top and soon I’ll be at the bottom. I’m strong and soon I’ll be weak. I’m creating and soon I’ll be blocked.
This isn’t a mysterious curse. It isn’t because of astrology. It isn’t your parent’s fault or your luck or anything else outside of you taking your life into tailspins just when you’re abut to have a breakthrough.
I thought it was all of those things. And more. Invisible spirit blocks. Powerful destiny. You name it, I had an excuse.
An excuse— not a cause.
Until you get to the root cause, all the reasons why things are happening ascribed to forces outside of you are a lot of noise.
Excuses and even legitimate reasons why things are happening don’t actually solve things.
Whatever you see on repeat is your karma.
Thoughts. Words. Action. The looping lessons we repeat and repeat until we finally see how we are creating them.
Whatever you see on repeat is also your choice.
Everything from skipping meals to skimming hours of sleep, dipping toes or deep diving back into toxic relationships, getting lost on social media, binge-watching TV, reading the news you know brings a black cloud of upset over your day while providing very little relevant information…
It’s all the subtle habits that pull us off our paths to glory and into burnout, upset and stuckness. It’s a very subtle step down in your vibration that is just a few more steps away from a dark hole of inertia.
The “I’ll start my diet/ exercise/ house cleaning tomorrow but right now, I’ll just stuff myself/ lay here/ not bother even doing the dishes…”
The “I’ll just skip today because I’m too tired to meditate/ write/ make art/ do that amazing work that’s been going so well… even though I know I’ll lose my momentum and I’m so close to a brakthrough.”
The “I can’t afford it so I can’t really do anything about it…so it will just keep deteriorating even though there are so many DIY fixes to make it better…”
Later never comes, breakthoughs don’t come and you’ll likely never afford it because it’s all this web of choices we make, ourselves, that are stopping the waves of change from actually coming.
Why would any of us make such self-damning choices when we want an enormous breakthrough?!
While there are a million personal reasons specific to you, the universal reason energetically-speaking:
In some way, it’s hard to hold a lot of power in your body, your space or your life.
So, when that power is rising, when the creative electricity is flowing, it becomes so new, so much energy, so much of a change… it is sort of self-preservation to flip the switch and shut things down.
It’s just too much energy to handle.
Fear of success is real, and it happens because all that excitement reads in the body like anxiety. It’s very similar, albeit totally different. It’s a whole lot of energy to handle.
Fear of lots of money (yes, it’s super-common) is also an energy situation: you don’t know what to do with all this energy and maybe don’t think you deserve the energy and choices and power.
Fear of love is also fear of handling lots of energy. The synergy of love multiplies us in many ways and there’s suddenly so much energy you can’t sleep or eat because it’s so much and it’s not being channeled anywhere…
While there are many other specifics to your own sabotage, these energy principles seem to lay beneath it all echoing that one Marianne Williamson quote that I will never forget,
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.”
So, how to handle more energy and more light and more of everything?
The very simplest ideas are the radiant core of all the change-making I’ve ever done.
Get yourself a plan. Plans have a way of making the unknown far less of a vastness and far more of a normal situation.
Get organized. When your home, your mind, your schedule is all over the place, you won’t be able to take in the new because you’re tangled in the old.
Start making. Start making things on a high level, channelling that energy into products, into philanthropy, into change-making, into art and into expression.
If you’re using all this energy and generating even more of it, it’s amazing how much more you can hold without feeling “odd” about it. When you’re used to flow, your old ways of self-sabotage feel really strange suddenly because they’re so antithetical to how your life works.
Essentially, you’ve carved out a new way of being when you decide to reorganize the universe in your favor.
Yes, you’ll possibly still sleep in occasionally or have a freak out once in a while and maybe even see your old self-sabotage rear its head again… but it will be unusual and clear, rather than constant, impossible and mysterious. And you’ll be able to jump right back in, despite it all, and keep moving to that next level.
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