Being a highly-sensitive person is a gift. It may not feel like a gift when you feel drained from work, overwhelmed by people or so deeply connected to the feelings of others that it is hard to put yourself first…
But, you can!
For those of you like me (and I think it’s the many!), it can be a relief to know that being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) is a real thing- not damage, weirdness or some flaw to be ashamed of. In fact, I think the numbers of us are increasing all the time with new generations of high vibration energy flooding our planet with more tuned-in light every day!
That said, it can still be a challenge to have deep relationships that don’t sink the ship of your life without some deep self-awareness and self-care.
Many people who read this blog are super-sensitive, empathic, tuned in and highly emotional. I know because I’ve talked to thousands of you over the years, and I’m not surprised to hear it because I am all-0f-the-above.
I used to think that my “too sensitive” nature was a broken part of me. I tried to deny it, numb it, submerge myself in a few too many dramas to feel anything clearly at all, swill a few glasses of wine at dinners and events to blur it all out… but, it always spun back to the same place. Feeling, sensing, deeply drained or deeply entangled. I’d leave relationships, hide-out from friends and try to gather myself back together frequently.
THIS article from Psychology Today, Looking For Love As An HSP, is incredibly illuminating. A love of helping, saving and caring for troubled people, and a lack of clear boundaries can make love extremely challenging when it can be extremely awesome and life-expanding!
Here’s my favorite excerpt:
“…HSPs are naturally caring and helping people. But you need to help yourself first. You need to put your needs first. While that may sound selfish, it’s essential for your survival. Whenever you feel overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, depressed or upset, it’s a cry for help from your sensitive self. And the only person who can take care of it is you. You need to remove yourself from stressful situations, give yourself space and quiet time and find a regular outlet for your creativity and your feelings.
Caring for yourself in this way will do two important things:
1. It will boost your self-esteem because it makes you realize how important it is to take care of yourself, and how important you are. When you feel good about yourself, you will attract people who feel good about themselves too and have the ability to give back.
2. It will keep you focused on your own needs, rather than someone else’s, which will help to prevent you from being lured into people’s problems and stop them from seeing you as a life preserver.
The more you understand yourself and what you need – peace, quiet, calm, creativity – the easier it will be to say no to what you don’t need. And the more you say no to what’s wrong, the more space you make for what’s right. And that includes the right relationship.”
Daily Habits that keep your vibes high and your life strongly centered, exercising healthy boundaries and healthy self-care are vital for all of us.
Starting with even a bit more self-care can exponentially increase your “bad vibe shield” and keep yourself more open to the kind of love that’s expansive!
Whether it’s 20 minutes of meditation or a long walk, these momentum builders keep the light shining bright. And any of the habits above that speak to you… less caffeine, less bright noise, less overload and overwhelm in life in general.
Learning more about your own patterns in relationships can be self-care in itself!
Then, there are the home habits. Clearing, polishing, enhancing… upgrading the energetic boundaries so that you attract the kind of love that is enhancement, not a wild and contorted drain!
xoxo!!!
Dana
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