When things get blurry— when nothing’s working right, when decisions aren’t being made, when action is feeling futile, when you’re chasing worry or lamenting the past or trying to sort out the future in hypotheticals- that’s when it feels like something’s happened and the way to make it stop happening is like quicksand to navigate.
What we focus on will grow, and it’s so easy to start focusing on the half full glass, the things that haven’t arrived, the mess that needs attending to that is daunting…
Times like this, people would tell me, “Oh, you really need to know there’s a lesson in this. There’s going to be a big thing to learn.”
I’d learned that lesson, twenty times, thirty, and here it was again.
My mind felt like a sieve when overwhelm hit. No meditation would cure me. No wisdom speak did anything. No amount of affirmation could change the landslide that was happening.
There were a few things, however, that did change a whole lot of everything!
Even when it’s not a storm of problems, I lean into these things to keep on my own path.
And, as we head into a season of love Feng Shui, it’s been the theme of my life these days to stay in the space of love and let the rest sort of fall away.
Manifesting magic is waiting…!!!
Becoming cause. Cause rather than effect. For real. Become the creator of your life.
Don’t try to fake it. It’s going to just frustrate your more, trust me.
I used to hype myself up and tell everyone I know, “Ok, I’m breaking through this! I got this!” and it was just noise. I would whip myself into a frenzy and declare how I’m going to never experience the struggle again and I thought if I was frenzied and shook up enough and angry enough and the situation that I would somehow get to a solution.
Sometimes it worked enough to motivate me to push through incredible amounts of to-do list stuff I didn’t want to do. Sometimes something would happen out of sheer force and tons of energy.
This was no way to live. And it also never pushed me past a point of keeping my head above water.
I was swimming in self-betterment 24/7 and I was not better.
I needed to take a big break from my unconscious habits. When I was utterly burned out, sort of leveled by all this striving, necessity forced me to be way more simple. I felt I had nothing to lose because I was done fighting.
Who knew how well this would work?!
I became, totally inadvertantly, the creator of my days.
I started to ask myself when I’d finally get out of bed—
What do I want to make? What do I want to say? What do I want to do? What excites me today? What can I do here that will solve this, overcome this, move this forward that feels good to me?
Simple stuff. But, this time, I wasn’t frenzied. This time, I wasn’t trying to please everyone. Now, I was just doing a lot of what felt really good. It felt good to dream up solutions to problems instead of living in a deep panic and anger that the problems existed. I took up some old hobbies. I started dreaming up a life that felt better. I wasn’t willing to push myself, because I couldn’t.
It was sort of surreal to hit this point because I had identified my success in every way as inextricably linked to giving way more energy than I even had to give to everything but myself.
Now I was feeding my soul. I was shaping my days, slowly but surely. I wan’t following a formula or relying on anyone else’s opinions of what was possible. I stopped caring about the noise and judgements around me.
I’d never been so focused in my life. And, as a consequence, I started making things happen that sailed into the world with a whole different impact.
Things work when we’re really at cause.
It’s almost impossible to be fully at cause over life when you’re not in love with yourself.
Self-forgiveness.
That brings me to the other big thing: you’re not broken. You’re not broken because you made mistakes, because you took less-than-awesome paths, or because you didn’t know any better at the time.
You’re not broken because you’ve been traumatized. I’ve had my share of trauma and abuse and the more broken I let it render me the less I could create anything worthwhile.
Forgive yourself for not being born knowing the answers to every question. Forgive yourself for things that happened that you’ve blamed yourself for, and forgive yourself for maybe not being as clear about things as your friends, family, boss or some celebrity who seems to have it all.
We don’t have it all. We’re here to create it all. There’s no secret rulebook you weren’t given.
Finding joy… unconditionally.
Joy was a limited condition for me.
When my work was done I could be happy. When “x, y and z” happened I could reward myself. When some sort of great thing manifested I could celebrate.
All the rest of the time I felt, at times, guilty if I was having too much fun.
When you are only “good” or “worthy” when you’re batting a thousand and basically being as perfect as can be attained, how are you ever going to make anything great happen?
If you’re only worthy when its all perfect, what happens when obstacles pop up? Does that mean you’ve lost it all and your life will crumble?
If you can only celebrate at the finish line, what if the finish line seems to constantly move out farther and farther into the future because it’s never enough?
Living in unconditional self-love isn’t an overnight event for a lot of us.
It’s a constant choice, a practice and possibly, and luckily, the best you can ever feel.
When you love yourself “just because” you don’t need to sweat through rigorous work to prove yourself worthy of great things. When you’ve embraced yourself wholeheartedly, you don’t need to justify self-care, creative risks and big life choices.
It’s so much easier to trust yourself when you aren’t fragmented with self-judgement, self-hatred, self-punishment, criticism, denial…
Unconditional love acknowledges your wholeness.
It gives you your power.
It makes it more possible to be CAUSE rather than EFFECT.
Fill your life with love. I say it often here. I can’t say it often enough.
Sweep away what isn’t love from your energy field, your home, your closets. For just a few days this year you can watch the space clearing intro videos for the Love Camp and start deeply clearing what isn’t love from your space. You can sign up HERE to get the FREE videos when they arrive!
Later today I have to move some plants off the patio that don’t belong where they are. I’ve got some deep energy clearing to do. The thought of it excites me, so I know it’s time.
This excitement is love in action.
It’s how I know for sure what’s right for me even if it makes no sense to anyone else!
Bring it to every day. Revel in it. The clarity and creative genius that love brings is such undeniable manifesting magic.
xoxo!!!
Dana
P.S.: If you’re ready to take the energy around you to the next level, detox the negativity and make space for joy, the Joy Immersion: 30 Day Negativity Detox is here for you.
THE JOY IMMERSION is a commitment to happy-making, mirror-polishing, life-lifting and simple space shifting for 30 days. It’s loaded with lots of actions that can help you detox from your own negative stuff, uncover more of your greatness and light, and see happiness everywhere you look…!
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And, if you want to dive in to your own personalized feng shui in a modern, practical way, Say hello to Feng Shui 101. Its the guide I made for you to create your own personalized feng shui at home, in the office, wherever you may be… in 8 weeks. It’s not filled with strict rules or what you “must” do. Its filled with information, questions, exercises and even videos and classes to help you confidently create amazing spaces with killer feng shui and live with more flow. Learn more about the 8-week feng shui adventure & grab your copy to get started right HERE… And, as always, please let me know what happens!
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