What do you say to yourself when you’re stressed, challenged, taking risks or just going through the average day?
While I’m tempted to say, “Oh, I am my own best friend!” I’ve caught myself lately criticizing my appearance, talking about myself like “I’m a mess…” and a whole lot more.
When I hear those things I’m reminded of a whole old pattern of behavior, a whole matrix of beliefs and a lifestyle that was once about breaking myself into pieces in order to stay motivated to change these things and excel. I know that saying it out loud sounds awful, but it’s really common. It held me back completely, and I’m so glad to be free of the heaviest of it.
There’s always a next level to release, heal and grow from in the process. And this past week I see how valuable it is for me to release, heal and grow from all this resent self-bashing.
So, how are you talking to yourself right now? What purpose is it serving? Would you listen to a friends say these things to you? And… are you ready for all the rewards that come when you let this self-bashing stuff go?!
Lately, I’ve been in and out of pain. When I’ve been in pain, it’s been my habit to let that pain spiral me back to a place of disavowing and struggling with my body rather than listening and healing. The pain I have treated this way in the past — with anger and self-loathing— has persisted. The imbalances in my body that I have heeded, cared for and listened to compassionately with lots of love have led to some pretty astonishing healing.
I’m no doctor or healer professionally for others, but the difference between talking to myself in self loathing and criticism and talking to myself in compassion and caring have been vast in my own healing.
Right now, I have some alignment issues being caused by what appears to be TMJ. I only realized this after years of struggling with neck, jaw and even strange back pain and misalignment. I say this gently but firmly— it should have been realized by the orthodontist who has been treating me for nearly 10 years that my teeth are totally off and it’s been exacerbated by all the tens of thousands of dollars of treatments I’ve done that have made the pain worse and worse.
I didn’t know why I had this pain, assumed it was some kind of stress, and then criticized myself badly to myself over the years of struggle.
I finally got quiet and listened to my body recently. I took a long walk. I sat and really relaxed. I wasn’t going to beat myself up any more for whatever was causing this pain. I was going to listen. What was this constant dull and sometimes extreme pain and feeling of misalignment telling me?
I gently tried to naturally close my mouth without stress. My teeth slammed together and then went sideways.
My bite was way off. My teeth were improperly moved over ten years, and because I paid $10,000+ for this and felt a slave to the process (the effect of it, a victim of it) it was something I couldn’t confront because, OMG, there’s the start of more self-loathing, you know? And, it was affecting my self expression every single day, as things to do with jawing teeth and neck and throat often do.
I took the lid off an enormous issue when I finally stopped hammering myself for not solving this or taking enough turmeric pills or going to pilates classes and I listened.
Today, the solution begins at my orthodontist, where he is being kindly tasked with setting this 100% straight, correcting what was done incorrectly.
And, so it goes!
Fingers crossed that this is finally and actually and completely and totally sorted out right away…! Now that I know what it is… I am already halfway there!
Beating myself up hasn’t solved career issues, relationship problems, health problems… and it hasn’t made me more attractive, more successful or more excellent.
It’s made me less.
It’s put solutions far away. It’s made relationships more distant. It’s taken my vibration super low when I am naturally so much higher. It’s ensured that obstacles never go away because I was addicted to complaining about how stupid I was to create them, and those words, most certainly, were becoming manifest as a reality.
Are you doing this?
Could you be sabotaging yourself with the words you’re staying to yourself, the energy you’re directing at yourself, the thoughts that are unproductive at best and damning at worst about yourself?
Anything that drags you down makes it harder to create, to solve, to connect and to soar. Anything that drags you down keeps you from manifesting tons brilliance.
So, wouldn’t all that negative self talk be just straight up self-sabotage?
For me: YES. Maybe for you, too?
I am thrilled to look in the mirror today and realize all the awesomeness, strength and light I’ve got going on. I’m going to practice it again, now, all day, every day, because I see that I need a really big cheerleader in ME above all else.
And, I am thrilled to see how this shift puts the rest of my body back into the proper alignment.
Self-bashing, I have had enough of you!
It’s time for more and deeper self-reflection in a positive way. Not a fact-finding mission to compile evidence of everything wrong or not-good-enough…!
Its time to focus on what’s right and expand that… bigger and bigger… instead of making what’s wrong an ever-present theme.
If you’ve been doing this eep negative self-talk in any way to yourself, are you ready to let it go?
Each and every time I’ve let this stuff go, something spectacular grows in its place…so…
Here’s to an even more self-expressed, creatively uncensored life bursting with love!
I can’t wait to see what amazing things manifest from all these incredible, expanded, super-high vibes!!!
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