Just about everyone wants to grow in some way.
When you’re expecting a series of things to happen in a specific situation that drags you into disappointment or fear or worry, it’s like putting the lid on life.
I don’t even like to think about these things… but I’ve heard about so many of these lately that it seemed worth the words today.
I also catch myself in my own forms of habits and patterns, too, where I’m “cautiously optimistic.”
That’s another way of saying, “I’m expecting this to fail and go down the same track it’s always gone down.”
In the last decade I am excited to say I’ve seen hundreds of people change these long standing patterns of most-certain poor results into success and a new way of living that’s more abundant wherever things have been stuck.
The method hasn’t been to deny these patterns and habits, to hide from them or to flip out about them.
I’ve done all of the above and they don’t really magically change something deeply ingrained, you know?
I tried the other awesome tactic that failed me miserably: fighting hard against these things, sometimes known as WILLPOWER.
Eventually, when my will would be pushed to the edge, I’d break down and start a negative spiral.
For me it was like trying to start an extreme diet health food cleanse after a decade of daily fast food. Where do you even begin when the gradient of change is so steep and the willpower has to be so high?
There are a few ideas that actually have helped shift long-standing patterns, gradually, sometimes quickly, not without effort but all without stress.
It’s time to expand!!!
There are these cycles we can develop in ways that have often perplexed me.
- The deadline at work… that invariably leads to a crisis.
- The sniffle that will soon be a full-fledge cold that always happens at the wrong time.
- The new relationship that stars off with a bang and ends in a dramatic and devastating flourish.
- The creative block that arrives when a project finally seems to be moving full steam ahead that leads it back on a shelf to sit and wait for the perfect time…
- The anything that tends to go a certain way despite how many times you’ve been determined to see it go another way.
Dr. Bruce Lipton talks a lot about people reading self help books. It’s an activity where we glean a lot of data, formulate plans, have an “ah! ha!” moment or ten…
But, no matter what you read, it doesn’t make the difference where this stuck part of life is concerned. You may be able to articulate it better, understand it intellectually, all of those things… but at the end of the day, none of that is really solving the problem.
What stops the problems from repeating?!?!
There’s no “one foolproof way” but there are a few big concepts that come along with actions that are actually game-changing.
You aren’t going to erase something in the past, and it’s very hard (impossible?) to transform something you’re ashamed of or holding yourself in contempt for doing.
Yes, you may have made money and spend your cash instantly and wildly a few too many times in the past. Yep, you may have bailed on great opportunities because you didn’t believe in your ability to have them as a success. Or, you may have sabotaged, continually, a lot of great relationships. And on and on.
Forgive yourself before you start trying to change things and you may find it a lot easier to operate without that feeling of lingering doom!
I spent years and tens of thousands of dollars in “transformational work” to erase the past and it did nothing because I refused to forgive myself. Self-contempt was my form of motivation.
Forgiveness is huge. THIS ancient and also modern process can be very helpful. Forgive and forgive and forgive until you are really feeling lighter.
You may not always see everything clearly, and it’s not because you’re not smart!
The reason why things repeat isn’t that we’re stupid, ignorant or undeserving. I see a lot of people who are highly aware, awake, educated, brilliant and really committed to change still struggle to figure out why they’re doing unwanted things over and over again.
I am one of them!
I stopped trying to figure out why and started looking for a wider viewpoint on the whole thing.
What is my blindspot? What can’t I see here that is tripping me up?
Outside perspective— be it therapy, healers, friends— helps me to see things I can’t see for myself. It’s really useful to not get locked in thinking (overthinking-thinking is not very good for my life!) and to be more objective, matter-of-fact and even distant from the emotions of things to see what I am doing to perpetuate a cycle.
It’s easier to change when I see it clearly.
Create a space and life around you that reflects the intentions you want, actively.
My life has changed dramatically since I’ve lived in my house for a year and I am incredibly fixated now on creating a life on the outside (my home and even my wardrobe, my technology… even the blog is due for a big overhaul) that matches my next steps.
Changing your space can help you break habits.
It’s a form of transformation that doesn’t require “willpower” because it’s like I’ve said for years, “living inside a vision board.”
Flooding your home with Nature can spark growth.
Living within your style and flow is an enormous catalyst.
When life around you makes you feel the way you aspire to feel… these patterns of the past stand out as no longer welcome. They feel very distanced from the day-to-day. They are farther away. And they’re easier to address without force because you just can’t be bothered to go down that old road any more…!
Take some time to style up even a tiny part of your home or your desk or your bedroom and see what happens.
I just brought home three giant trees and have one more haul of greenery to go… A new rug is en route… A sofa re-do… New art… new color… new coffee table… A little collage of inspiration is above. It’s all very me-feeling. Hook rugs and sequins and gold and more gold.
My closet is also in a revolution. Letting things go. Making way for new. Feeling excited to open it up again and feel my newer style take shape.
The blog, too, is up for a makeover…
My hair may even get a big change…
Whenever an old pattern shows itself I realize that there is something I’m not seeing and there’s some creative energy that is not being adequately expressed! It’s time for design magic in one way or another, be it small or big or somewhere in between.
None of it needs to cost a fortune or requires that you do anything more than simple switches or even new styling of want you have.
What matters most is the energy you put behind it.
Love. Open-Hearted love. Emotional resonance. Sitting in the energy that you are wanting to manifest every day.
The transformation of those old habits will be a by-product of letting your whole life start to look and feel better.
Every. Single. Day.
Have so much letting all that old patterns stuff go. The new is waiting!!!
P.S.: If you’re ready to take the energy around you to the next level, detox the negativity and make space for joy, the Joy Immersion: 30 Day Negativity Detox is here for you.
THE JOY IMMERSION is a commitment to happy-making, mirror-polishing, life-lifting and simple space shifting for 30 days. It’s loaded with lots of actions that can help you detox from your own negative stuff, uncover more of your greatness and light, and see happiness everywhere you look…!
And, if you want to dive in to your own personalized feng shui in a modern, practical way, Say hello to Feng Shui 101.
It’s the guide I made for you to create your own personalized Feng Shui at home, in the office, wherever you may be… in 8 weeks.
It’s not filled with strict rules or what you “must” do.
It’s filled with information, questions, exercises and even videos and classes to help you confidently create amazing spaces with killer Feng Shui and live with more flow. Learn more about the 8-week Feng Shui adventure & grab your copy to get started right HERE…
And, as always, please let me know what happens!