Is A Search For Certainty Holding You Back?

Sep 19, 2018 | Creativity

How many signs do you need?

How many people need to agree before you make a move?

I have held myself back considerably looking for certainty that I could absolutely never get. No matter how many famous psychics, mediums, astrologers, healers, experts, doctors, mentors and otherwise could weigh in on a situation— and even if they all gave their same advice— I did not trust it was 100% true and so I’d wait to take a step forward.

I didn’t trust no matter what input I got because I was, essentially, battling against what I already knew was true for me.

There is no absolute certainty and that want of certainty was a reflection of how seriously I hoped control outcomes, how much I hoped to be right, how broken I felt from trauma and how much I had let my voice be trampled under a cloud of shame, fear and a gaping lack of self-confidence.

I’m not suggesting our every instinct is the right choice. But, the persistent feeling that something was right for me and the denial of that feeling, wanting it confirmed over and over again before I took a step, spoke up, make a move… it kept me stuck and limited for so long I still feel the feeling of being squashed just typing these words.

If you are looking for confirmation to move forward: confirm it for yourself.

If you are looking for the right move: move how you are drawn to move.

Today’s feng shui is all about owning all your energy and exercising your power in your life to shape it in powerful ways. 


You know a whole lot. 

If you need confirmation from science: it’s been proven that we have instincts, that our thoughts and energy projects many feet outside of our bodies, that we are endowed with many extra-sensory perceptions (ESP— those flashes of insight and dreams and abilities that many of us have seen glimmers of from time to time and some of us have developed) and, that we are all entangled on a cellular level.

You know more than is logical, reasonable or explainable.

You don’t need to explain what you know.  Ugh, the time I wasted explaining, pleading my case, justifying, making myself small because some people decided that I was not “logical, reasonable or explainable.”

A few people I know had illogical, unreasonable and unexplainable feelings they followed that led them to cancel trips to avoid certain disaster.  I am so glad they followed their feelings.

Many people have illogical insights that lead to breakthroughs.

Logic. Is. Limited.

You are unlimited. You have lots of powers that defy “rational” explanation that you experience every day.  Sometimes, it’s why a feeling sticks around so long. You just know it’s right.

Trust what you know. Even if it doesn’t lead to the “desired outcome”instantly, you’ll feel a different kind of logic:

Strength, alignment, radiance, a voice that is rooted in your core and is as clear as day, a sense of confidence and a knowing you are being true to you.

No one needs to press you to explain your feelings. It’s a gift that you can be so grounded and real and open and bright.

Do you need more information— or do you need more belief in your feelings?

Data, data, data.  It’s vital that we have it for many things.

Knowledge is powerful, but only to the degree that it’s providing you the ability to do what you need to do with excellence.

At some point, the line of data stops.  You can pile on more and more information and may find yourself getting mired in all the data.

As a student of art history, there were crucial dates and timelines that corresponded with historical events that were total to know to see a progression and a reflection of the world through the eyes of artists.  Beyond that, whether a vase was made in 1850 or 1852, with no significance between the two, was something I rejected.

It was memorization.  It was an exercise in nothing.

It’s stunning for me to see how I rejected that data that served no purpose yet, when out on the world and feeling less grounded, confident and on my path, I thought I needed so much data to do simple things.  I wouldn’t make a big move without a council of people saying it was a good idea.  I needed to know more details than ever, even when I wanted something badly.

A quest for data that gave me certainty on something I already felt was right kept me stuck in relationships for a long time that I wanted to leave many months earlier.  It helped me to deny my feelings that I should leave things, that I should join things, that I should do things.

I needed data that made it “certain” because I did not trust myself.

that data didn’t exist, but I struggled to gather it anyway, leaving myself in a waiting game that was endless.

It’s way more powerful to succeed or not yet succeed with full responsibility. 

I don’t believe we “fail” when we are being true to ourselves.  It’s all steps on the journey.

I have only “failed” when I put my needs, my emotions, my heart and my instinct aside and conformed to what I asked other people was the right direction to take next.

I could then say it was a bunch of other people who steered me in the wrong direction, a convenient way out.

But, that feeling persisted even if I blamed people all day long: I was not doing things that felt right to me.  I was trying to be what other people thought was right.

Blame gets old. Being stuck gets old. Struggling gets exhausting.

Not every single thing I did that was “following my feelings” turned out as I’d hoped, but it put me on a path to greater things that the old me who wanted a chorus of approval could never ever accomplish.

It is worth it to follow your feelings.

You are really powerful— USE YOUR POWER. 

You many not trust yourself overnight… but you can catch yourself looking for other people to tell you the right answers to very personal questions, you can see where you are hoping to control instead of wanting to create, you can feel how you feel moving through your days… and you can always make a new choice.

Choose your brilliance.  Choose your wisdom.  And your magic.



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1 Comment

  1. mariella

    Any of your posts I can connect with thoughts about the current state of my life 🙂 🙂 🙂 super interesting!


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