Have you spent as many hours for as many countless days as I have freaking out about just how fast things were or were not coming?!

The jobs, the relationships, the solutions, the resolutions, the big breaks and even the great adventures are exciting, but, in sort of a stunning turn, have you noticed that the more you passionately think about how they haven’t arrived yet, the longer they seem to take to arrive.

It’s summed up in the quote from Andy Warhol that has never failed to ring true: “As soon as you stop wanting something, you get it.”

If you drop the worry and frustration, the pressure and vigilant hours spent trying to force/cajole/convince things to come faster, you may be amazed at how fast things start to manifest…! 

This year was a breakthrough year because I can’t think of a single thing that I had an impulse to rush, force, overthink or feel deep frustrations and pressure about.

There were huge challenges. There were huge lessons. But, overall, it was huge creativity.

And, even when it was its most challenging, it was not draining or stressful.

Huge Breakthroughs happened. I started a Feng Shui School. Major projects got completed. Healing happened. It feels a little like it was a dream.

This is all 100% product of letting go. Yes, sure, I work. Yes, I love what I’m doing. Yes, I keep the vibes high and the intention pretty strong.

But, it wasn’t until I stopped working against myself (*a personal project for the last seven or eight years!) in pressure and rigor, my life gradually and them monumentally bloomed.

Feel great first.

If I don’t feel pretty good overall, something is energetically amiss.

I don’t pressure myself to feel good anymore (*another bad habit that made me sick from the striving 14 years ago) but, rather, I pay attention to how I feel.

If I don’t feel great for a few days in a row, and simple things like naps and spiritual practice aren’t helping, I look at my life and see if there’s something I need to let go.

Drop the time pressure.

Yes, I love a creative deadline. It wakes up the supernatural forces of inspiration. I love watching the cooking competition Chopped. I used to think it was faked for time but was assured by one of the judges four years ago that the chefs literally cooked full meals of crazy ingredients in 20 or 30 minutes flat. That is mind-boggling. It’s also a competition, and not what they do every day.

I used to do this to myself, up all night racing through things to achieve.

Now, I don’t love staying up until 3am often for what I’d call “just a project to finish…” that would become a month of these hours that were endless because one project begets the next… and the next… and “oh… can I do this faster if I just stay up…?”

Nope. I burn out doing these pressure-cooker type speed things, and my work is not my best work by a long shot.

No need to feel guilty for feeling great.

When I’d feel too good, well, I wasn’t working hard enough or trying hard enough.

Sound familiar? It’s this litmus test lots of us have internalized to see if we’re giving our all.

If I was too calm, too relaxed, too happy, too leisurely, having too much fun… that meant that I wasn’t trying hard enough.

Now, if I feel stressed, upset, frustrated, stifled and robotically plugging away, this is my warming sign that something is amiss and I need to take a big break.

It’s more fun (and rewarding) to give!

I focused so much on getting things I missed the point.

Giving is the great part. Creating. Exchanging. Experiencing.

Getting things is fun, yes, but if the things you’re doing in order to get things leave you feeling dim and lifeless, can you enjoy what you’ve created?

That was a big NO for me.

Giving, however, is something I could do all the time. Creating. Exchanging. Experiencing.

The getting of things came fast and furious when I started feeling that the giving was the fun.

Breathe more.

Not too long ago, I started doing ten closed-eye minutes of focusing on my breath that is known as simple meditation. Its all the meditation I care to know because it is simple and doing so much good for my life. I will write a post on this at some point soon, because I am shocked by the difference it’s made!

There is no scarcity.

I freaked myself out wanting to manifest everything tomorrow because I felt a window of opportunity would close, I would miss a boat, I would never have a chance again…

What a way to live that was so far from the truth!

There are no limits, there are always options and the journey is always unfolding.

Spacious is the way!

All of this force and stress I found myself “proud of” as I withered under its weight, was a road to nowhere.

It was in letting things go— a lot of things, a lot of ideas, a lot of artificially imposed stresses— that everything could flow.

I never stopped wanting things, and I hope none of us ever do! But, I stopped making the theme of my life chasing and waiting and, once I got what I wanted, moving on to the next and the next thing until I was exhausted.

Everything felt hard.

In letting go of all that stuff, everything took flight.

Holding onto clutter of all kinds keeps life small. Letting go makes room for lots of magic!

xoxo!!!

Dana

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xoxo!!!