Welcome to me in my most “me” environment. Plants, plus flowers, plus trees, plus stones, plus fountains, plus… a red dress, plus friends around, plus an unexpected adventure while shooting some photos.
All of these things are a big part of my self-expression.
I used to swallow my self-expression, allowing “just so much” to be public, keeping the rest to myself so that I wouldn’t be too weird, too visible or too anything…
Instead, I was just a piece of me. I was increasingly more anxious, frustrated and creatively spent not because I was so productive, but, rather, because I was holding myself back.
This is, apparently, common.
In many ways I see this happening with so many people every day. I have clients who will only acknowledge their big, bold, true aim when I’ve been gently relentless, not accepting that they’re OK with whatever they can get in life. Pretty much no one hires me when they don’t want to make a change in life!
I’ve had friends and family downplay their “unrealistic” dreams and bottle-up talents as though they’d dissolve if brought to the world more confidently.
You may have done it, and you may be doing it— minimizing your talents, gifts, self-expression, wishes, goals, emotions, intellect and/or more of your creative spirit so as to stay smaller for some (often frustrating) reason.
Today, let’s talk about un-bottling all that wildly powerful and unique magic that is you and expanding it more fully into your whole life!
I had convinced myself that at one point it would become so easy to be self-expressed, visible, bolder, more clear, more true to what I wanted… but, until that breakthrough day came in some way I had no conception of, it was safer and somehow “better” (more humble? more safe? I don’t know what I was thinking!) to be less expressed.
If someone edited my words, I’d be upset but wouldn’t say anything because I didn’t want to upset anyone. Instead I’d be upset, and have more justification to stay in this place of being held back and self-censored.
If someone plagiarized me (frequently!) I would feel so violated but didn’t want to “overreact.” Instead, I almost stopped writing the blog.
If I wanted to make a video, write about something, do a new project… I started editing myself before I began.
I’ve found that self-censorship and holding myself back is a slippery slope. Not only is it a huge creative block, it also got me dug into a mindset where I would argue for my limitations rather than for my dreams!
You don’t understand… I can’t talk about how I feel because it’s not right…
The only way to stop plagiarism is to stop writing, there’s just no other way!
I don’t have the time… the technical skill to edit my own videos and… the hours in the day… the….
It was like I was dedicated to creating and equally dedicated to stopping myself in my tracks.
It was only me and all my considerations, all my fears and all these excuses that made my life feel about 10X harder than it needed to be.
In lieu of quitting this dream of mine a year and a half ago when I felt the creative life force sort of leave me— quitting a dream and method I created that’s already had a big impact on me and many others– I took a very definitive stance:
I’d write what I want. I make videos about things I dig. I learned how to edit on Final Cut Pro X in one hour’s time. Because what I’m writing about is so personal, there’s no way it can be imitated, and I just don’t think about it any more.
Within days, literally just days, of this decision, I can’t even begin to describe the opportunities, synchronicities, breakthroughs and all the vitality that came back to me.
Whatever mysterious event I thought would come and grant me permission never came.
I finally surrendered and let myself be myself more fully.
It’s always evolving, and I’m always finding new places to become more clear, more bold and more grounded in creative power.
If you’ve felt stuck, held back, like there’s a glass ceiling over your head, like you’re just not good enough even though you know how good you are…
Now’s as good a time as any to decide to be 100% you.
More self-expressed. More clear on what you really want. More connected to passion. More in love with who you are right now, this moment… 100% you.
I still wonder why I didn’t do it sooner, but I’m so grateful I did it!
And I know you will be, too.
Self-expression is self-love. It’s power. It’s your gifts that the world needs heading out to the people and the planet who need them. It’s so much fun. It’s calming. It’s true.