I strongly believe that largely, people are wonderful. Some aren’t living their wonderfulness. And, even wonderful people do things that are upsetting and sometimes downright mean.
Essentially, we’ve all likely done things that others have every right to be upset about.
I’ve been on the receiving end of some pretty horrible stuff, too. It would be easy to say it’s all unforgivable. And, I am not here to make light of this stuff or “blame myself” for these things that have happened.
And, I know I’ve lived a long time holding other people accountable for my choices, my mistakes and even my present moods many years later.
This was where I had to stop the cycle.
All those things of the past (and even the recent present) were giving me a reason to not move forward. This stuff was keeping my life stuck in place. And, that, I felt, would be letting the bad vibes win.
Today I felt really compelled to write about this energetic cycle of being held back by the past and talk a bit about taking full power back in life every day!
First of all, trauma is real. And, if you’ve experienced big trauma, I highly recommend seeking support– therapists, support groups, and the like– to heal the bigger traumas. This is stuff we’re not meant to handle alone as it’s really hard to navigate and can be quite scary to revisit on our own.
I’ve done more of this work that I can recall here, and I am always ready to do more. It’s the ultimate in reclaiming energy, power and so much more greatness. Your mind, heart and whole energy system feels free.
Today, I wanted to talk about the bigger themes that have less “emotional charge” that’s obvious but can still keep us tied to the past.
Holding grudges. Petty disagreements. Feeling rejected. Being thrown-under-the-bus in betrayal at work. Making mistakes or less-than-awesome choices you can’t seem to forgive yourself for making.
It’s small stuff in the grand scheme of things, the types of happenings we usually can vent about and feel “done” with. You’re not actively thinking about it, you’re not actively upset… and, it may have happened a long time ago.
There’s a saying that “time heals things” but it didn’t work for me.
For me, in all these situations, if I didn’t fully work through the situation and rectify it for myself completely, some of my personal power was stuck in the past.
These events echoed through my life in ways I didn’t fully connect:
Never wanting a job again where I felt I wasn’t in complete control, not trusting people as much, not taking big enough risks, feeling “less than” in ways I couldn’t understand, feeling like I could only reach “so far” because I might screw up…
When I started looking deeper at why these patterns took the place of my once “unlimited” mindset, I realized that these feelings weren’t tied to big traumas. They were all these smaller events that made their mark that accumulated over time.
They were never fully rectified.
I was stuck in a place of blaming other people at worst and refusing to forgive myself or others at best.
All that seemingly stuff was like glue holding me stuck tight to a version of the world that was not a place where I could thrive, even with all my privileges.
That sucked. It also made me ashamed. And, I was over it.
When energy gets stuck, things get stuck in life overall.
The only way i could find out of this was to go through it and finally dump all of this pettiness.
I had to really forgive. Everyone. Including myself.
–It helped to also forgive others and myself every single day until I truly felt lighter and more free.
And, once I felt lighter, I had to, quite literally, call my power back from where it had been stuck in the past.
I would envision all my energy rushing back to me from wherever I left it– in a dumb argument, in a grudge, in some small upset.
It’s incredibly simple and it works!
More energy started coming back– creativity, possibility, fun, abundance, confidence– slowly-but-surely.
And, the cycles of self-condemnation were taken apart slowly-but-surely, too.
If you’ve got any of these patterns lingering in your own life of small stuff, grudges, and more— you might want to ask yourself if they’re actually holding you back?
These are often relatively easy things to “declutter” from your life.
Forgive. Forgive yourself, too.
Bring all your energy back.
And, create amazing things in the world every day.
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