The Feng Shui in this particular Universe of Feng Shui is unlike anything else in the world– totally holistic, totally creative and totally empowering. It’s not just about the position of things in your home, or following specific rules– it’s about bringing your whole life into a fuller sense of personal actualization. Living your dreams. Fulfilling your potential.
The Students in The School of Intention are a part of my extended family, and when I hear their extraordinary stories, I feel so blessed to learn from them.
Today, I am thrilled to share a moving personal account about connection, energy and harnessing power to truly transform life by School of Intention Member and Integrative Health expert Ella Carey.
May her story– and the wisdom she share– inspire you in ways that expand your own life. Everything below is directly from Ella.
“Joe Dispenza says that thoughts are the language of the mind, and feelings are the language of the body.
If feelings are the language of the body, are physical symptoms the body speaking this language out loud?
I have been a practicing nutritional therapist and kinesiologist for 4 years. The body is my work. I thought I knew it intimately.
Energy work is a big part of this work, but up until recently I dismissed it as ‘less than’ and put more focus on the more ‘clinical , functional and scientific’ nutrition. I favoured functional markers that could be measured, and so it had more credence in my practice than the more intangible and mysterious energy work. In my naivety, I believe it wasn’t as powerful a healing tool as nutrition.
I soon learned that I was so wrong, in a most humbling way.
Energy is power. We can learn to harness it, just like we harness wind or solar energy. We can cultivate, generate and harness our personal power.
(By slowing your own heart rate, you can influence the heart rate of others in your direct space – literally calming the space)
Equally, if we don’t harness this power we have, it can lead us to places we don’t necessarily want to be.
This is my story.
2020. It’s the height of the pandemic, my 14 year, very turbulent and explosive relationship ended a year previously after a 5 year on/off, my ex has decided that he wants to live in the family home after moving out.
I was entirely disconnected from my instinct, and after trialling cohabiting – we quickly realized it wouldn’t work. I would move out – thinking it wa a reasonable thing to do, to relocate during a pandemic. I hadn’t anticipated the stress it would add. In fact, looking back, I know I was in survival mode and wasn’t listening to myself. I was unaware of how stressed I was. During arguments I would defend myself with saying “ you’re leaving me no choice I cant stay at our home, and I can’t leave – , I feel paralyzed by you.”
THIS was a red flag! It should have been a wake up call. Had I been listening , or taking heed of my language – had I been more present with myself. I wasn’t, I was completely in survival mode.
After a week of intense house hunting, absorbing threats of taking away custody if I took my children out of London, I’m now at my mums. I need rest. I’m emotionally and physically exhausted. I have found a house that I can afford. I don’t want to think about how much I don’t want to live in it, and how scared & out of options I feel. I remember feeling like I didn’t know what the best thing to do, which way to turn to find some relief from this gnawing fear that said “ you can’t survive, you’re a terrible mum, you cant look after your children in the way they deserve to be looked after. You’ve got nothing to offer. “
It was a lot just to be with this fear and continue along my path in the face of it. I realize now, that I hadn’t let myself process the fear. It was building in my body. The language of my body was clear and getting louder.
The day after we arrived, it was a normal morning. We went to TKMaxx to buy a raincoat for my son – remember were in Wales! It rains even in August!
I tried on some ankle boots, and then we went home. Its lunchtime, I’m serving my children some food when I notice a loss of sensation in my torso, a numbness in my right hand side. I think it’s strange, but I’m not too worried – ‘you’ve probably trapped a nerve trying on those boots” said mum. Hmm, I thought trapping a nerve would be painful – this is just numb. I think, feeling relieved that Im not in any pain, and I go for a lie down, leaving my mum to finish serving lunch.
Over the next 6 hours, I progressively lost more feeling in body – my legs and body became more rigid- waves of contraction would ‘ wash’ over me and then it would pass, my body softening momentarily before another wave of rigidity in which I would completely stiffen from head to toe.
I had no idea what was happening to me – I called an ambulance who, when they arrived empathized with me and joked with my mum about how awful trapping a nerve can be!
It would be weeks before I found out that I had developed Transverse Myelitis -inflammation on the spinal cord, and it wouldn’t just pass, as I had hoped.
That day, in August 2020 my life changed as I knew it. I was no longer the independent mum who could take on the world. I was completely helpless. In hospital, In nappies, I had to ask to be wheeled to the bathroom for a wash. As I needed myself to be the strongest for my children’s sake, and the new life we were embarking on, I was finding myself completely helpless.
I was paralyzed – echoes of the words that I had spoken over an over again to my ex partner in moments of sheer frustration.
I’m painting this picture for you so you can get a sense of the contraction and fear I was in, and a contracted force is in self defense, it’s shrinking by nature. This is not conducive to connection, growth, expansion.
When I was in hospital, I had a sense that I was disappearing or floating away. I thought I was dying. I felt so powerless, weak, drained of all life force. I Googled “ Can you die from Transverse Myelitis?” such was the tangible feeling of fading away.
I wasn’t on drugs.
I was disconnected to my own body and spirit. My energy systems were in a state of chaos and disorganization. I was terrified, and this terror was creating chaos in my internal systems.
What really scared me above all else, and this is also what saved me, I believe – was losing the connection to my children. I felt incredibly distant from them.
They went to Italy with their dad 3 days after I was hospitalized, and I felt so far away from them – emotionally and physically.
I felt like I had let them down in such a big way.
How could I really look after them in the way they needed me to?
I was in nappies, in a wheelchair. I couldn’t even look after myself as I needed myself to. I was terrified that their dad would fulfil on his threat of requesting custody of the kids. I had no strength in me and knew I (quite literally) had no leg to stand on had he gone through with it.
After what had felt like 14 rounds of relentless pummeling. I was ready to ring the bell.
This felt like—
● No north : I couldn’t make a decision. I couldn’t connect to my inner wisdom. My instinct and intuition was completely out.
● My heart rate was totally incoherent. Racing out of the blue, as my body was pumping out cortisol to try and keep up with my sense of threat.
● A shutting down of my senses, my creativity, my ability to think my way out of a situation I felt like I was losing my fight with life.
● I didn’t feel good enough to be a mother to my amazing boys. I didn’t feel that I could live up to their needs, to what I needed myself to be as their mum.
● I believed that I wasn’t strong enough, good enough.
● I could only sense negativity, i felt overwhelmed and defeated. I couldn’t connect to anything positive.
● I was ready to give up
● After so many years of defending myself, of being a fighter, a survivor. I was resilient and hardy I always found a way out of difficult situations. Now I was completely helpless. Powerless. Defenseless.
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” Albert Einstein.
I had no choice but to find a new way of operating. I could no longer continue to push and struggle my way out of situations. I was forced to really look at how I had created this situation, and find a new perspective in order to heal it.
One that was kinder to my nervous system. More sustainable. Less draining. Softer. More receptive. More connection. Heart led and not fear led.
From my hospital bed, I chose to do things differently. I had the tools for healing.
I made a promise to myself to implement these tools, and start healing myself. The decision was a turning point. I shifted my focus from fixing & controlling outwardly, and turned inwards.
Simply by closing my eyes, and holding my K27(acupuncture points for kidneys/ fear) , could I feel an electrical buzz in my (entirely numb) feet. There was a sign of life. I didn’t know if I would walk unaided again, (statistics said that I had ⅓ chance of recovering mobility, ⅓ chance of staying the same and ⅓ chance of a paralysis taking over my whole body – stiff person syndrome.)
It was as if someone turned up the dimmer ever so slightly on my inner vitality.
As I intentionally drew my breath inward, visualized myself breathing into my heart, and connected to feelings of appreciation, I would feel a small energetic shift. Ever. So . Subtle.
My body would feel more tangible, stronger somehow. I could sense the vitality that was slowly growing in me with each meridian point I held, each breath work I did, my life force returning with each small practice.As my energy grew, so did my appreciation and reverence for energy medicine, and so did my hope for a new life.
As my energy slowly came back, my perspective started changing. I was more creative, I could consider that things could have a positive outcome for me and my children.
I was waking up to life, and myself a key player in that life. I was no longer letting life happen to me, but leading it. We went on to buy our beautiful home in a beautiful part of the world, near my family and walking distance from their school. (That was an amazing story too, but one for another post). They live with me, and we are enjoying our new life. I am defying statistics and am medication free, and out of my wheelchair.
I walk my dog daily and am enjoying the creativity of being present to each day.
My parenting has more freedom, my work is expanding and I’m leaving room for magic. Its a daily practice to keep tuning my awareness into magic, joy and gratitude, as my mind and nervous system is hard wired for stress. I know that it doesn’t need to be, and its simply by being present that I can reset this, slowly.
We are energetic beings. Our hearts and brains generate an electrical field of 20 feet. Our electrical impulses influence one another, even from a distance .
This part of my life has been about grounding into rebuilding my life with my children.
I have intentionally connected to the things that I know support my endeavours to communicate love and safety in my new space.
Heart Math, Qi Kung, Breathwork, Feng Shui, and lots of hugs and quality time together – these are just some of the things that have helped us rebuild our new life.
I was practicing an exercise I learned from Dana Claudat ( of the School Of Intention) – called anchoring. It’s an exercise designed to intentionally anchor all of your energy into your home. This is desirable as it makes sure that you’re 100% present to your space, and not energetically spread too thin.
I was to ask myself where my anchor was, and visualize the answer. When I got my answer, I was instructed to visualize picking up my anchor and placing it in my chosen point. I chose my new home.
I felt more ‘there’. More at home. A very deep but subtle shift, that was obviously tangible to my children as that evening my son cuddled me and said “ mum, I feel SO SAFE here”
My heart was so happy. I WAS DOING IT.
What this experience taught me was:
Energy is everything.
Without energy , we have nothing.We can do nothing. We are nothing. Energy is what makes us who we are.
Energy is never still. It’s either expanding or contracting.
We are unique expressions of the same energy.
To be more of ourselves, we simply connect and generate our personal energy or frequency. Its futile trying to emulate someone elses frequency – we can enjoy another’s energy, but never copy it. The world WANTS you to be the most expressive version of yourself.
This is Our Power.
our personal blueprint. How we express the energy thats inside us.
Our self expression.
Our connection to the universe.
Our ability to express universal wisdom in the way that only we know how to translate.
Connection has clarity
Connection has vitality
Connection is grounded
Connection is expansive
Connection is intentional
Connection invites flow
Connection is presence.
Presence is power. We are meant to cultivate, harness and express universal energy, I believe.
I would say that the opposite of connection is chaos. If our lives feel chaotic and disempowered, we only need to cultivate more connection to pull that back and shift into empowerment.
Simple Practices to strengthen your connection.
● Breathe in bigger than yourself. Breathe out bigger than yourself. This seems to have an effect of bringing awareness to your energy field.
● Place one hand over belly and on the central upper chest, just underneath the collar bone (K27) Breathe into these points, in a circular motion – in through the top hand and out through the bottom hand.
● Scents: I personally craved lemongrass, lemon & orange oil whilst I was in hospital. Cleansing, and having the effect of a smelling salt – it would literally bring me back to my senses. A few drops in a spray bottle with water makes a lovely. Experiment to find which ones you enjoy
● Movement – every day. Move your energy in a mindful way. Connecting your movement to your breath is a really powerful way to cultivate energy. Qi Kong & tai qi are great exercises to try.
● Find a sense of appreciation in your chest, and focus on it until it grows. This has an incredible effect on your whole internal system – your glands, your hormones, your immune system. Your heart rate becomes more coherent and the heart sends message to the brain that the body is safe – triggering a secretion of dopamine and DHEA – to counter the adrenaline and cortisol. Switching OFF flight or flight.
● Eat foods that nourish you – mineral rich greens (grow them at home if you can) herbs like parsley, coriander and thyme and sprouts or micro greens add a rich source of nutrients to your food, and also have an added benefit of removing chemicals from the body. They are also super easy to grow at home.
● Keep your personal space clear and clutter free. I like to think of this as giving yourself the gift of a ‘clean slate’ or a new story each time you enter the space. If you are surrounded by clutter, it’s like walking into an old story on repeat. Theres no room for being in the Now. Clear that clutter and experience the magic of presence.
● Choose some things which uplift you: candles. Music, essential oils
, incense. These can really make a big impact on your sense of being present to well being in your space .
● How do you WANT to feel? Write it down, and write down the things that help you access that feeling. Look at your list – how many of these do you do on a daily basis?
● Write down the things in your life that drain your energy.Reflect on how much of your time and energy that these things occupy in your life. If your life were to be illustrated as a pie chart, could you visualize how much it is given over to the items/ activities that drain your energy? Can you spend some time reflecting on how to bring in MORE energy increasing activities? How does that feel?
● EFT tapping helps us to come back into our bodies, and into NOW. Here and now is where we can affect change, so this is a really helpful & empowering tool. I use EFT all the time on myself, my family and my clients.
● Hydration drinking water supports your energy. Drink structured water – I love the Nikken with thePi- Hydrogen to add antioxidant properties to my water. You can learn more about it here and feel free to use my consultant number 40210101.
● Having life in my space – flowers, plants. These life giving elements really nourished my senses. Noticing if the plants needed water on any given day, or they needed dusting – this kept me connected to them.
● Light – natural light, never use strip lights. Infrared saunas and red light therapy.
● EMF protection – crystals, shungite. All these are helpful. Feel into your body to know which feels good to start with.
● Cleanse your energetic field through epsom salt baths and nature bathing. This allows you to declutter your energetic field, and understand whats YOUR energy, and whats other peoples energy (especially important if you area therapist, healer, work with people face to face or are a Projector in Human Design . If you cant bathe, can you give yourself a foot bath?
Through cultivating connection, we can intentionally direct the energy in our lives, work and relationships.
That’s truly empowering!”
Ella Carey is an experienced integrative health practitioner working to heal gut/mind level imbalances in people with a history of trauma.
Her work seeks to ‘change the environment ‘ so that it’s no longer conducive to dis-ease, and cultivate a resonance of vitality – through a variety of proven practices.
She weaves together quantum energetics with nutritional protocols in order to create a fully bespoke health care plan for each individual, based on their biochemistry, genetics, needs and goals.
Her work is rooted in Epigenetics, the science of gut health, mental health, quantum energetics and reducing the impact of stress & trauma on the emotional & physical body, to bring the whole person and their environment to a place of harmony and vitality”